Horror and Thriller Fiction posted February 15, 2015


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close to death, a werwolf bares his soul

Lycanthrope Talk-Back

by mfowler


The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

'So, you're a werewolf?' says Randy sarcastically.
 
The caller seems distant, but sincere. With Halloween just two nights away, Randy wants to feed off this call for as long as he can keep him on the line. Hell, this guy may be a hoaxer, or he could be a genuine, certified nut.
 
'Not always. Only when threatened or the full moon's blaze stirs my primal instincts.'
 
Oh, he's good. Knows his were-wolf shit. Gotta keep him rollin'. The producer gives Randy the thumbs-up, code in this place for: closing the lines, go for it.
 
'Do you mind telling me your name?'
 
'It won't mean much to you. I haven't used it publicly for two hundred and ten years. Count Wilhelm von Strumper.'
 
How bloody precious? 'OK. So, Count, what can I do for you? It's not often someone so old comes on this show. We cater more for the late evening 20 to 30 year olds.' O, that's good.
 
'I needed someone to talk to before dawn. Your station suits my timing. I have something I need to get off my chest before he comes. And the first rays are showing through the battlements.'
 
'The battlements?'
 
'I can see the Rhine from my window. The battlements of the castle block my vision to some extent. Let's not waste time, please. Van Hesling is coming and my time is nearly over.'
 
Oh, he's a nut job, for sure, but what a storyteller. Play along, Randy. Humour the dude. 'So you're in your castle in Germany and you're a werewolf, and you are awaiting a dude who's going to kill you. Is that right?'
 
'Basically.'
 
'Tell the listeners here on KWB 1 and syndicated through three states on the west coast, what in your werewolf life, you'd like to confess. A thousand listeners are waiting, breath baited.' Oh, that should reel him in.
 
'This affliction which has kept me alive, but imprisoned in this duplicate world for three hundred years or so, has caused more suffering to the innocent than I could ever say.'
 
'That's very interesting, er, Count. But, what's this van Hesling dude got to do with your situation?' Good question, Randy, right to the meat of it.
 
'Van Hesling is a Lycanthrope Warrior; one of a long line of Van Heslings from Belgium who are sworn to battle the werewolf wherever they appear. This one has a particular hatred of the Von Strumpers because our forefathers were friends and business partners in Antwerp before they fell out over my family's nocturnal leanings.'
 
'Surely that's in the past.' I'm winding this guy in. Hell, KWH3 won't stand a chance in the ratings if I keep this guy on the line. Halloween bonus, here I come.
 
'This is why I want to confess before his vengeance is complete.'
 
'Nice one, Count. Just hold that thought. My producer wants to throw to a commercial. Gargle or something. We'll be back on air before you can howl...sorry, cheap shot.'
 
Bad timing. Just about had him. Oh, Bill's dug up this old gem to bring him back in. 'Werewolves of London' by Warren Zevon. Hell, I haven't heard that for yonks.
 
As Randy comes in with the music, he announces that the Count is about to recount his dirty deeds, but the caller appears to have gone.
 
'Shit, Bill. We've scared him off,' he mouths through the plate glass. But, Bill signals to keep trying.
 
'Hello, Count, Randy Savage, KWB1, are you th.....?'
 
'Hello. Yes. Sorry. While you had your damned commercial, I took the trouble to board up the doors and bar the shutters.'
 
Sounds reasonable. 'Well, Count what would you like to share?'
 
'My father fell in love with his business partner's wife, but she spurned his love when told of his werewolf ways. He disembowelled her on the spot.'
 
'Shit...I mean Chitaqua, that's a big confession.'
 
'No, it was what followed that I wanted to share. The van Hesling family gathered every able bodied relative in the city to hunt my father. They cornered him at our estate before he had a chance to flee. My father was a fierce lycanthrope and ripped half of the group to shreds before they seized him.'
 
'My goodness, that's a lot of blood.' The ghouls and boils of Halloween will be lappin' up this stuff, yeah.
 
'I came to my father's rescue and twenty two members of the van Heslings died that day. Surviving males of the family joined an international Commission of Lycanthrope Warrior-hood that was sworn to eradicate my species from the face of the Earth.'
 
'Good story. Lovin' it. Aren't you at home folks? Stay close to your sets.'
 
'I can hear him scaling the outer wall. This must be quick.'
 
'Before you go on, how did he find you? You've been hiding so long.'
 
'Google, I'm afraid. A distant relative mentioned me on Facebook. They adapt with the times.'
 
'Why don't you just disembowel him, like you did the others?'
 
'Arthritis. Canine Arthritica Grandiosa it's called. Found that on Google. I can't fight. It's time to pay.'
 
I'm lovin' this guy. Must be a college student with an imagination. 'Go on, Count.'
 
The conversation is over. Listeners hear screams, curses, and loud clattering, and then nothing.
 
Great finish, Count, whoever you are. 'You heard it all on KGB1, 'The Midnight Hour' with Randy Savage. Thanks for listenin'. Time to listen once more to 'Werewolves of London'.'
 
'Hell, Randy, what a show. We blew KWH3 off the airwaves,' enthuses Bill.
 
'What a prankster? It seemed so real.'
 
'Cost us a bit, but with the ratings boost, we'll cover the cost of the call.'
 
'Huh?'
 
'Yeah, thirty eight minutes from Dusseldorf, Germany. He reversed the charges, sneaky bastard.'
 
Randy gulps. Nah! Can't be. Too much of this Halloween shit's doin' my head in.
 
Count Von Strumper's body lies hacked and bloody on the cold floor of the castle near the Rhine. Van Hesling crosses him off his list.

 


The Werewolf writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
There is a castle that's crumbling with age. In it lives man, all alone. The man is a werewolf. Someone comes. What happens?

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