Ahhh... Grandma Doris. 94 years young as I write this today. Her age is quite important, yes, because if you knew what it was like growing up with my Grandma Doris, you would know I spent many of my younger years with her telling me about how she could just "die at any time now". Yup. Quite an interesting thought for this 11 (or 12) yr. old at the time, to sit on while scrunched between the car door and Grandma in the back seat of dad's car. "Prince Trent", five years younger, was always on the OTHER receiving end of those joy rides. I'm not sure if he was hoping the car door didn't fling open, or if he was hoping it did. Hard to tell sometimes. Wait, maybe that was me. Anyhow...

As I type, it has been approximately 24 (possibly plus more) years ago since my grandma first threatened that she could "die at any time now". I try to remind her of this every time I see her too. She just laughs. However, the memory that I believe resonates with my family and I the most, it would have to be when I was around 16 years of age. You know, that age when you are far too cool to be seen with family - especially your own grandma. Now I understand if you can't relate, and that's all without even telling you what happened on that night, so if you can relate after what I'm about to share... Well, lucky you then, I guess.

So... After a very much heavy dinner with my family at the Iowa Machine Shed, including; my parents, brother, my Aunt Sharon, and Grandma Doris of course - we stood and waited while dad paid the bill. It wasn't like I could've just taken off to hide or anything at that point because dad, after all, was always the keeper of the car keys. So I stood there just waiting for what seemed liked years, in teenager time at least, continuing to glance around for anyone I might know. God forbid anyone saw me with my OWN FAMILY after all. Yes, it sounds funny to me now but back then, at that age, it was a completely different story.

The next thing I knew, as I stood there amongst mostly strangers in that little vestibule I suppose you could call it, my grandma sort of grabbed at her chest - and then she burped. Not such a big deal, right? It likely wouldn't have been, I agree. Except for the fact that when my grandma burped, her teeth literally flew out of her mouth. Even as I reflect back on it today, I still see it the exact same way I did at 16 yrs. old. Almost like a slow replay you'd see during the Superbowl maybe, with garbled voices and all.

"Grrrraaaannnnddddmmaaaa!" To this very day my voice still echoes, but only now it's just in my head. It's also still the only thing I can recall hearing at that point, besides the noise her teeth made as they finally landed on that floor in front of EVERYONE (which consisted of my Aunt Sharon and 3-4 strangers at max, but at my age THAT WAS EVERYONE, okay?). That day, I was going to die. It was the most mortifying moment I'd experienced up until then. My Aunt Sharon might say that no one would've even noticed had it not been for me bellowing it out like some grand announcement, but what does she know anyhow. ;)