How does spring affect a person like me?

I won’t give you one reason, I’ll do three

 

First, I hate blue skies and the blistering hot sun

Getting sun burned and peeling ain’t my idea of fun

 

I don’t like crowded parks or watching smelly flowers grow

Pleasant nature scenes upset me, if you really must know

 

But the worst thing that causes me all kinds of mental distress

Is knowing soon mom will force me into a sissy-ass summer dress

 

Do you get it now? Do you understand my reasons?

Or should I go into why I hate all the bloody seasons?

                                                                                     Signed: Mean Baby