First off, I know I will get trashed for writing this, and it will make some very angry. So, if you can't take straight talk or a contrary opinion, then skip it. You were warned.

The Facts
Back in February of 2014, Baltimore Raven’s star running back, Ray Rice, and his then, fiancée Janay Palmer (now Janay Rice), got into a fight. According to both, and the videos of the incident, the two were arguing, Janay slapped Ray, the couple entered an elevator, where Janay (according to her statements, video, and police reports) spat in Ray Rice’s face. At that point Ray Rice knocked his woman out with a devastating uppercut to the jaw. Ray then dragged her out of the elevator. Both were initially charged with assault. Neither Ray nor Janay agreed to press charges on the other, but the state has discretion to press charges without a willing complainant in domestic violence incidents.  The state of New Jersey chose to drop charges against Janay and press charges against Ray. He took a pre-trial deal for first time DV offenders, where he agreed to take anger management courses and probation in exchange for a clean record. He was initially suspended for two games by the NFL.

Disclaimer
Now, I want to make myself crystal clear for those with short attention spans, personal agendas, and the political correct junkies.  I in no way advocate, encourage, or promote domestic violence against women by men, BUT, I also do not advocate domestic violence by women against men, or in any combination your mind can think of. I’m saying this because during this entire public outcry, somehow violence against men hasn’t been mentioned (see Beyoncé, Solange and Jay-z’s elevator Domestic violence video). Am I stupid enough not to know that the majority of DV cases are men against women? No. (1in 4 women are victims of DV, and 1 in 6 men are victims.) Do I not realize that most men are physically stronger than women? Yes, I know that (That’s why people made knives and guns). I can also admit that the degree of violence and force used by Ray was greater than that of Janay against Ray.

Who’s Guilty?
They are both equally guilty! What? How can this be, after everything I just said? Simple, because for years, since before I was born, society has been hammering into us that women are equal to men; equal in rights, capability, intelligence and ability. Female leaders fought tooth and nail for women to be allowed into combat with the armed forces. Now, in my opinion, if you are equal in rights, then you are equal in responsibility. It is wrong for a man to use illegal violence against a woman, and it is wrong for a woman to use illegal violence against a man; assault is assault, rape is rape, murder is murder, gender doesn’t matter. ( Except when a female teacher rapes her male students, vs a male teacher and a female student. But that’s an entirely different essay.)

But, Ray is bigger and stronger than Janay?  Yes, he is, but there is an old saying: You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Oh, I really did it now. You never, ever, blame the victim.

Well why not? If I walk my black butt into a KKK meeting and scream, ‘Hey, any white women in here want to be my baby mamma?’ I would probably be killed, and not quickly. Am I a victim? Yes, I was beaten, dissected and murdered, in that order. But, do I carry any responsibility for my death? If you answer no, then if you’re an American, go into a terrorist campground and sing ‘God bless America’, or if you are a woman, strip naked and walk down a dark alley in any major city. I’m betting no one with half a brain will do those things, because it’s stupid.

Okay, I know America has an obsession with believing the underdog is always the good guy and should win in the end. That is the myth sold to us in fairytales, from Cinderella to any movie featuring an all-black sports team. (Really, I’m waiting for the movie of an all-black hockey team winning the Stanley Cup.)  When will we learn that sometimes the smaller guy is the bad guy? Sometimes the smaller person is the bully, and yes, sometimes the woman is not only the abuser but wants it.

Yes, I went there. Those of us from the hood all know that there are women who will not respect or date a man who will not hit her. I have been called soft and a wimp for not hitting a woman, by the same woman. I have always refused to date them, and they didn’t want me anyway.

When will society go after those women? But we’re not supposed to talk about that; it's not supposed to exist. I know some women are angry right now, and are screaming, “I did not want to be abused!” No you didn’t, but that does not negate what I said. You are not all womankind.

Political Correctness and the Bandwagon
Now, I know it’s politically incorrect not to call Ray Rice the next Hitler, and Janay the new Virgin Mary, and several male sports anchors have been suspended (Stephen A. Smith –ESPN, Max Kellerman – ESPN, Ted Robinson -49ers) for not understanding in this new PC world, males who don’t toe the line will be punished.

Stephen A. Smith was suspended from ESPN, and criticized by women groups and one of his female co-workers, because after repeatedly saying he opposes Domestic Violence, he suggested that women know what type of man they have. He urged them not to provoke an abusive, violent man. For this he was instantly attacked and suspended.

Max Kellerman was suspended from ESPN-radio, because during a discussion about Ray Rice and Domestic Violence, he related a personal story that while he and his then girlfriend were both drunk, she slapped him and he slapped her back. This he said was wrong, and they both learned from it. They have been happily married for twenty years since. For this he was suspended.

Ted Robinson, a sportscaster for the San Francisco 49ers, stated, on the air, that he didn’t understand why Janay married Ray Rice after he hit her, and is standing by him. For this he was suspended.

I find it funny, that NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell found himself under attack by the politically correct mob, for not behaving as 'they' felt he should. Do I have sympathy for him? No. He gave an initial punishment to his employee, then bowed to outside pressure, and punished the man twice, even violating his own new rules to do it. Not to worry though, the NFL gave several million dollars to female anti-domestic violence organizations, and has agreed to do some public service announcements. Oh, calls for Roger’s termination have ceased. (Money cures everything.)
 
Opinions treated as Facts
Janay Rice has twice now blamed the media and pundits for destroying her and Ray’s life and misconstruing what she says is the truth of what happened. I have seen many networks, CNN, FOX, NBC and a host of commentators refute and dismiss Janay Rice’s because according to them and their experts (none of whom has spoken to Janay or have any evidence of additional violence upon her by Ray), she is a battered woman.  Janay says otherwise, but the public and media don’t care what (the victim) says in this case, because some battered women lie for their abusers.

Is Janay a battered woman? What is a battered woman?

Battered woman syndrome  n. 
A pattern of signs and symptoms, such as fear and a perceived inability to escape, appearing in women who are physically and mentally abused over an extended period by a husband or other dominant individual. (The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary)
 
Definition of BATTERED WOMAN SYNDROME
The highly variable symptom complex of physical and psychological injuries exhibited by a woman repeatedly abused especially physically by her mate. (merriam-webster.com)

I added two different definitions from scholarly sources. If you read them with an open mind, you will immediately see that they are similar and state a battered woman is someone who has been beaten repeatedly; a pattern of abuse. Again, there is NO evidence of Janay being hit other than the one time we know of. She herself has stated this was the first time they hit each other.  The media and the public have no reports, rumors or allegations of any other instances of domestic violence between the two.

So, why are many calling Janay a battered woman? Why are they ignoring what the victim wants? Why were they calling Ray Rice’s initial two game suspensions not enough, when only Janay was the victim? How can people who were not Ray’s victim call for more punishment? Why are they insisting Janay is a victim, even though she repeatedly said she is not a victim?

That’s easy. Some people who were victims of domestic violence see themselves as Janay. They want Ray to be punished as their abusers were not. To achieve this goal, they will marginalize Janay Rice and strip her of any ability to decide her own fate.

A Final Thought
Whatever you think of Ray Rice, Janay Rice or Domestic Violence, consider that Ray was punished by the justice system, and by his employer, for the crime of domestic violence. After his punishment, the public saw the video of what they already knew he did. The public and special interest groups then lobbied the NFL to increase Ray’s punishment to the point of him being stripped of his job and his family’s only source of income.

What if that was you? Should mob rule decide your punishment? Isn’t that what happened to Emmett Till? (Did I go too far? Think about it.)