“Johnny, what’s the sad look for? You get your girlfriend pregnant again?”

“Very funny, Mike. You know, I don’t cheat on Helen no more, but I just don’t get her sometimes.”

“Alright, tell me what happened, and start at the beginning.”

“Okay. So, I’m sitting on the sofa, just reading the paper, and I see this ad for chicks. I say to myself, I wonder if Helen would be interested in this.”

“And then what'd you do?”

“Well, when she finished cooking my dinner and cleaning the dishes, I handed her the ad, real polite like, you know. I waited until she was done and everything.”

“Is that all you did?”

“Mike, I swear on my dead grandma Shirley’s grave…”

“Your granny ain’t dead, Johnny.”

“She’s not? Well then, where the hell is she?”

“She moved to Florida, with your aunt Tootie two years ago.”

“Oh, remind me to call her later. I miss the old brod.”

“Sure, sure; so what’s this ad you showed your wife?”

“Here, I got it in my pocket. You read it, and tell me if there’s anything wrong with it.”

“For a limited time only.  ½ off on vaginal rejuvenation surgery, with a liposuction and breast enlargement package.  Be all the woman you could be. Financing available.”

“Well?”

“It looks fine to me. I don’t see why she would be upset about that. I don’t understand women either. That’s why I ain’t married.”

“Yeah, after ten years of marriage, I still don’t. Look, Mike, Helen is really pissed off. She threw a frying pan at me and everything. Do you think I could crash at your place tonight?”

“Sorry, Johnny, my mom’s been acting weird lately. She says I spend all my time at the bar drinking, instead of looking for a job. I filled out two job applications last week. Women, I just don’t understand them.”

“Yeah, I hear yah, buddy, I hear yah.”