| Mystery and Crime Fiction posted August 25, 2014 | Chapters: |
...42 43 -44- 45... 
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The identity of the stranger in the mine is discovered.
A chapter in the book Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
How Convenient!
by michaelcahill
| Background Most of the kids rescued. There are still eleven to save. All are trapped in an abandoned mine. The Bard is trying to save the last of them. Lots of guns everywhere. |
Previously, The police pulled Petticoat over, but he had other plans. He set off a smoke bomb and then blew up his jeep and ran for the safety of the forest. He is native to the area and knows the forest inside and out. The explosion caused the officers that had pulled Barry over to run to the rescue. Barry escaped into the forest in pursuit of Petticoat and the money. The chapter ends with the Bard discovering a man sitting at a table in the room in the mine We continue now as the Bard attempts to find out more about the mysterious man.
The man peered into the darkness and stood up as he heard something move in the corner. From behind, he felt something cold pressing at his throat.
"What is it doing in my mine, my precioussssssss? Nasty thievin' humanses after our gold. Slit its throat. It wants the precioussssss."
Sgt. Petticoat couldn't manage anything more clever than, "No".
"No? No, it says. What do we have for him, Don Pardo? Well, Gollum, we have a lifetime of hard labor at beautiful Attica Penitentiary home of the Hell-No-We-Won't-Stop-Loving-You Bowery Boys Singers and Ass Spelunkers!
The Loooooove Butt,
shiny and blue.
Come aboard you big brute,
he's been waiting for you.
You get the picture, right. I could've said, don't move or you're a dead man. That's direct and to the point. Or I could have been more poetic and referred to you as toast, for instance, implying that I might insert you in a mechanical device and crisp your skin in anticipation of peanut butter and boysenberry preserves. Oh, Aunt Beeeeeeee! Get Opie. I've found a woman for Barney."
"Oh God! Please don't kill me. I'm not moving. That bag is full of money. Just take it. I never saw a thing. Just let me go. Oh God."
"God? Little old me? I must say that is quite the compliment. How can I be sure that you're being sincere? Maybe you're just trying to earn my favor. OOOHHHHHH! That's it isn't it? You sly dog. The Woodsman's Ball and Axe Throwing Festival is coming up. I'm getting the vapors. OH MY GOD! You want me to be your date."
Tenaya appeared at the cave entrance. "I couldn't help but overhear the conversation. You know that you already have a date with Lucy. I hope you aren't taking his offer seriously."
"Well, no, of course not. But, it is flattering though. He offered me twenty-two million dollars for the first dance." The Bard directed Tenaya's vision to the satchel sitting on the small wooden table.
Tenaya burst out laughing. "You've got to be kidding. Harpster's ransom money. Who is this idiot and how the hell did he get a hold of the money?"
The Bard put a little added pressure on his throat. Petticoat made a little peeping sound like an Easter duckling that had just found out the Easter Bunny was really Uncle Phil and that Phil had no eggs at all. The smell was Uncle Phil. But the sound seemed to be too high pitched for a duckling.
The Bard said, "I believe the lovely young woman has inquired as to your name and method of acquisition as regards that bag of money there… over yonder… over there on that table there that has that bag full of money sitting on it and stuff. In other words, who are you and where did you get that dough? How'd I do?" He smiled at Tenaya like a little boy.
Petticoat remained terrified. "I'm Pat Petticoat. I'm a Sgt. with the Independent Militia of the United States. I took the money from Barry's office after he was killed in an explosion at… "
"At the prison facility at the compound a couple ticks from here?" The Bard had dropped any humor from his voice and manner.
"Yes. The compound. The prisoners took hostages. I had no choice and… "
"You don't recognize my voice? I was negotiating with your miserable ass and you just started bombing us. We ran into this mine. That's the only reason we're alive. This isn't a good day for you. Show us the way out of here. It may extend your life a little while." Tenaya had her weapon at his forehead cocked and ready to fire. Even in the dim light, it was clear she wished to use it right then and there.
Fluffy stood at the entrance. "Should I bring the others up?"
Tenaya never took her eyes off Petticoat. "Yep".
~~~~~~~~~~Barry running in the forest
Barry kept running. He couldn't hear anything behind him any longer. I know It's a matter of time… helicopters, dogs, who knows. Gotta find this jackass with my money. Kill me? Mistake. Where the hell did you go? You have to be here somewhere. Mountain… straight up. A Billie goat would struggle.
Barry just stood there looking around.
~~~~~~~~Three cops in the forest in pursuit
The three cops that took off after Barry who had taken off after Petticoat, stood there looking around at a forest that looked almost like a paradise except for their presence. Tall evergreen trees, green dotted with a rainbow of colors stretched out in every direction. The sound of animal life filed the fresh air. There wasn't a sign of fugitives anywhere. The size of the forest became a part of their mindset.
"Which way do we go? Maybe we should split up." Yablonski scratched his mostly baldhead.
Cravitz scratched his large stomach absent-mindedly. "Well, let's face it, they could be anywhere."
Khin stroked a short tuft of beard that had been shaved off a month earlier. "I'm not for chasing our tails in a circle. I don't think splitting up is wise. Three on one is a cool breeze. One on one is a windless night with a tornado warning. We accomplish the same thing standing here that we would flying to the moon. Exercise is foolish. Wisdom is thoughtful and motionless."
Cravitz and Yablonski nodded their heads reverently in agreement.
~~~~~~~The entrance to Winston's compound
A contingent of FBI men accompanied by a decent sized military presence set up temporary headquarters outside of the compound in sight of the entrance. They were armed to the teeth. The guards at the gate reported to those in charge.
~~~~~~~~Inside the compound
An attempt to organize ensued. Disputes over… everything delayed any kind of organized response to the FBI's presence. The desire to discharge their weapons was nearly universal throughout the compound.
~~~~~~~inside the mine
Petticoat showed the Bard the exit to the mine. It consisted of a ladder that led to a small hole in the ground covered by a wooden door camouflaged by branches and leaves. The Bard slowly opened the door and peered outside. About twenty feet away, Barry stood with his back to him starring at… well, he wasn't exactly sure. He quietly closed the door.
The Bard looked at Lucy and laughed. "Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth are standing out there ready to turn themselves in. They're sorry. Should we let them go? Oh… and Barry is standing there waiting for me to impale him on a Douglas Fir tree".
Lucy smiled. "You're kidding; Barry is standing out there in the middle of the forest?"
Tenaya laughed. "Prayer must work. I prayed that I'd be able to blow two idiots to kingdom come and He's delivered. I really didn't think He'd go along with a prayer like that. You hear that Pussycoat, the good Lord gave you up."
The Bard gestured towards Tenaya's revolver. "May I borrow that? Barry has a date with his proctologist. I'm going to give him a quick colonoscopy. Heeee hooooo Haaaa. Hey, Petite Overcoat, you like that one? I'm implying that I'm going to jam this revolver up Barry's ass by referring to it as a common medical procedure. That should appeal to the medical crowd, the booty crowd and the NRA. Okay, I'll be right back." The Bard climbed up the ladder again and peeked out the door. He looked back, blew a kiss to Sgt. Petticoat, and silently climbed out.
Nearing the end now. I even have a vague idea how it ends. Hahaha. That could change though. Any thoughts or input. Are there loose ends I forgot about? Two books to edit now. Combine them or expand them. Make one out of the two?
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