THE TWINS

Hand made in Heaven, devoured by sin


Your green eyes show no reflection, nor do they share any emotion.
Only the faint flickering of the flame, the flame of hate as we both know it, the flame which sometimes flares up and bursts, with destruction in sight, the whole world to curse.

Your soul is decorated with deep scars of war long passed, and those still to come as you create them from none. You never sleep or eat, never do you speak, and still do I know you're every thought, even the bleak. I feel your pain and the burning hunger for more; there in the dark as you sift through your core.

You live in a land made out of stone. Your own made kingdom, where you'll vanish alone. The rivers have left you once filled with life, now too tired to fight. The Sun, the Moon and Stars turned their backs on you and moved to a distant place, not to return, to witness your evil ways.

Out of chaos and destruction were you born. On the battle fields, where like, a Warlord you soar, days and nights the hunger for blood, twisted your core. There was the slaughtering of many men, never to see the sunlight again.
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There where life was stolen from you, a deadly potion you brewed and drank it with passion to wipe out the memories, of love and affection. So if you're wise and add up the sum, you will realize that your conscience grew numb. Poisoned by grief, hate took over what was left, an empty vessel indeed.

Now you hate yourself being one of the few, to survive the ugly destiny, you so desperately pursued. You want to be dead, reunited with the rest. So you went back, time and time again, to catch your bullet right in the chest. To be safe on the other side, a one way ticket when you die.
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Sometimes late at night I hear your agony cry and the laughter, as they compete, for the last stand, as you weep. The tears role down my cheeks as I tried to repent, for your sake. How is it possible, why did this happen and how will it end?

We were born on the same day, shares the same blood. But there in the chaos and hurt we were torn apart. I tilt my head back and close my eyes as I think of the love, without any disguise; I came to know without having to sow.

Tired of sharing and no will to fight I'm waiting for the moment when you'll turn up the light. The day will arrive and it's your turn again, and I have to sit in silence and watch as destruction begins. Over and over until this body can take no more, hoping we'll wash up on that pearly shore.

Often I wish when you had that free pass, that you'd tried harder at that bullet to grasp. As I travel this road alone; I cannot help to think of him. It hurts me even when his silent, I still feel his pain. As night falls I sometimes watch him, his head turned as he stared down that, two thousand three hundred kilometers to the north, waiting for a sign, to lite up his torch.


All the many medals of all your many men, won't tip the scale, one hundred to ten, made out of gold, silver or brass, their worth nothing to one broken heart, made out of glass.




This was written by a Sargent in the South African Defense Force who enlisted when he was 19 years old. He served as part of the Special Forces from 1979 to 1991. Counting the days he was operational in the South African Border War for five years. He came back from the war and found that, in his heart, there was a war of a different nature. When he was a soldier feeling was not an option and found it hard to fit back in society when he came back.

How is it possible that good and evil can occupy the same heart at the same time? Sometimes evil would take over and he will disappear for days.
Living a life of self-destruction, lost in himself and the world here unknown.
Today he owes a part of his salvation to a few people who saw in him, what he could not. They showed him the way and nurtured him with their love.

Their courage and passion is hard to find, but easy to be recognized by an old soldier who once, walked that tight line.
I tip my hat to you; the real heroes of time as the tears fill my eyes, never will you leave my mind. I salute you and hope that someday I can be there, to catch a star as it falls out of line.

I know that the memories and nightmares will always be part of my life but thanks to each and every one who made a difference in my life. Each one of you has touched me in a special kind of way.

With Love
Johan


Johnny G

August 2013