Both photographs of Trayvon Martin were taken from their vast circulation in the public domain.

The Trayvon shooting by George Zimmerman has been in my mind since it was initially reported, yet I had no plans to put it into a poetic form. In a sense the shooting has hit home because I have been on both sides of the gun so to speak. I did have an upfront opinion on this, but decided to wait until George Zimmerman's trial before solidifying it and putting it into terms.

Still I had no plans to write about it, until I attended a poetry reading by Barbara Morrison with her poetry book titled, "Terrarium," which is about growing up. Also reading was Shirley J. Brewer, with her book, "After Words," which is poetry and fact related material regarding the death of Steven Pitcairn; an out of state college student viciously murdered and robbed as his mother listened on from Florida via the cell phone.

There was a fairly large and wonderful crowd in attendance and Miss Shirley was asked to write a poem about Trayvon Martin, the boy in Florida killed by George Zimmerman after an altercation who became a cause. She stated that she couldn't write a poem for Trayvon, because she was too exhausted from writing about Steven Pitcairn and boy did I have that feeling in my gut, and perhaps felt picked on from on high.

I found myself not only dealing with my feelings about things, and a sea of other peoples'; I also found the wrestling match of how to present not only my deepest feelings about things, but the facts and time line. This poem has been a solid two weeks endeavor as I didn't want my opinion to overwhelm it, nor turn George Zimmerman into a hero, nor Trayvon into a demon.

I felt that given the circumstances, George Zimmerman was completely justified in shooting Trayvon Martin, as the only other choice left to him was either being killed himself at Trayvon's hands or living life severely brain damaged and no longer functional. This still doesn't make what happened, any less a tragedy. One of my best friends said it best, "Trayvon's problem is that he thought George Zimmerman would act like another 17 year old kid."

I felt this event featured some of the worst and in my opinion, fraudulent reporting that has ever occurred and quite possibly people got together to create an element for racial dissention that wasn't there. Not to mention of using this to garner opinion against issue the press disagreed with.

They portraid with a portrait, Trayvon as if he was some eight year old kid that was haplessly gunned down, and George Zimmerman as a white racist. While the media said they were working off the initial police report, that didn't excuse the photo of Zimmerman from the police station where they Photoshopped out the physical damage that Zimmerman had. On top of it, they severely edited the 911 tapes to make the call sound like Zimmerman was a racist.

I was amazed that in near real time, the truth along with its proof, was hitting the internet, making the press admit to their activities. Yet the reporting of the corrections, was a lot less in intensity and then dropped as the civil rights leaders flooded in.

The local police found nothing they felt George Zimmerman couldn't be charged with, so the Governor created a special prosecutor who charged Zimmerman with second degree murder and I felt subjected to a burden by both the state and the courts that would destroy most people; personally I did wonder if Zimmerman would be charged and convicted of manslaughter.

I was shocked at just how poor this trial was in terms of both the permissiveness of the bench in regards of the prosecution, and just how little that prosecution actually presented and the fact it seemed geared around the emotions of the case and not the facts.

The witnesses were not impressive in my mind, but compromised their integrity in regards to their legal obligations, and the most appalling was when a medical examiner speculated that the damage to George Zimmerman's head was not enough to warrant the use of deadly force. My personal experience dictates otherwise, and had he permitted Trayvon to punch him, would have definitely lost his cognitive ability to defend himself and most likely would have died or suffered severe brain damage.

To the public, Trayvon's call was presented as an innocent kid scared to death of Zimmerman, but the testimony of the girlfriend indicated he took an aggressive attitude that contradicted other portions of what the public was told, and Trayvon certainly didn't come out looking like that eight year old kid. What amazed me was the media was all too willing to give this witness a platform to explain, black teenage culture and most found it appalling. Personally, I felt this was a disservice to their cause as surely, most of America was put off by it.

She felt that George was getting a good old fashioned whoop ass and should have taken it like a man. Other testimony shed light on the case for me as well and again, personal experience comes into play.

I have seen the crime scene photography as well an autopsy one, and while the press presented the description to the shot to Travon's chest as a timely and deliberate one, from the entry point is more in keeping to Zimmerman's story and appears a very hurriedly/desperate one.

The reality of Trayvon's life came into play and a lot of light was shared about the problems at high school, which included attitude, aggression and even a search that revealed both tools and jewelry.

This indicated to me that Trayvon was acting suspiciously enough to warrant George Zimmerman's concern and also explained Trayvon's aggressive stance. Considering I walk everywhere I go, I occasionally have people thinking I am following them and the usual response is fear. There have been times when I know a person is showing behavior that they are engaged in illegal activity and they are the only ones who spur of the moment confront me in an aggressive and threatening manner, which I am usually left to deal with unarmed.

I also know that such kids tend to look for the excuses should they be in trouble and all things considered, believe that he could have been using the rain to check on houses. That's the way it was when I was like that, though I was just into the adventure, not intending to commit crimes. My excuses not only didn't keep me out of trouble, it got me in deeper as I was outthought.

In 9th grade, I was with an older group of friends and a definite partier, who for the most part attempted to stay out of trouble by remaining alone. Yet with the new attitudes I had, it couldn't help to transfer into my life and against others. My own father, point blank told me, "If you think you can challenge and adult, you are the size and age he will most likely decide to kill you."

I told him I learned that lesson and he wanted to know how, but I refused to tell him, just reassured him that I did. The simple look of confrontation got me decked by any man that I gave it to, and I couldn't say they were wrong in decking me either; as I felt afterwards I got what I deserved. In fact I am thankful for this as it helped me to place myself in the scheme of things. I realized I was a boy scout, and acted as such, but only in the realm I was supposed to.

I had compartmentalized my personality to be an angle some of the time and a total shit head the rest. From there, I saw my wrongs and chose to outgrow this and become a full time Boy Scout, which was easier as my friends I hung with graduated from high school. I really couldn't blame them for my problems as I was coming up with all the ideas that got us into trouble.

I had a knack for that and we defended out park from other kids with BB guns and if they had them, there was a shoot out. I was there one day with a friend and thought there was an older teen with his BB gun so we decided to snipe him. We delivered two shots to his ass and he swung around and instead of pop, his gun went boom! He yelled at the top of his lungs, "Hey guys, do you really want to fuck with me!" He proved his ability as his shot to the sapling between us, put wood splinters on both of us.

In today's time, you are told and even threatened not to touch a teenager, no matter the circumstance. This is something that damn near got me killed a couple of times because usually the teens felt empowered to do anything they wanted and they had blood on their minds. These situations popped up in seconds and there was no retreat, you were either prepared to deal with it or you could be losing your life. This is reality, not what the media presents.

Usually it was up to me, to stand my ground (or they would chase me down) and had to let it be known I wasn't going to permit their behavior and there was times, they had the weapons, I didn't. That willingness to so readily defend myself kept the lid on the situation and my life intact. This was something the police refuse to acknowledge until I had to deal with an attack with a knife in my house; prior to that I was threatened with arrest should I dare open the door to retrieve the weapons for the police.

Then that went to the court system where I found out how badly they operate in terms of justice though testimony to turn me into the guilty and to keep the delinquent out of the system. In Maryland attempted murder from a teenager is excusable if you yell at her. It certainly wasn't about the real story or real problems.

I call what I experienced as the curse of dad, because he worked for the State of Maryland in Juvenile Services (Juvenile Justice as it was later changed to.) He felt the agency neither helped the kids who were in his charge as a case worker, nor protected society from them when necessary and he was publically outspoken about this, which totally ruined his career as well my belief that it got him barred from the Mitchel Courthouse so he couldn't do his job. On his death bed e wanted me to pick up that mantle of criminal justice and juvenile crime and I declined citing, family, finances and time. Well that SOB then wished it on me and I was not disappointed!

I was always counseled based on what my father was suspecting I was getting away with and as his guest, experience more of the juvenile system then his cases did. He gave me a lot of advice and knowledge about people, which he hoped would keep me from pushing things until I did get in trouble or even killed. Dad was definitely a Clint Eastwood type.

Even today, people are trying to keep Trayvon Martin's issue alive to advocate gun control and fight against Stand Your Ground laws. What I found was ironic was a Stand Your Ground wasn't even brought up in the trial as Zimmerman's defense make the classic defense with standard self defense, in my opinion with the help of the prosecutor's mismanagement.

To me it doesn't matter to Trayvon's parents who fault it was as they lost their son and knowing such grief, I know just how deeply it cuts. If somehow they failed or could have fixed things in Trayvon so he could still be living, what could have been prevented? If he wasn't killed, you never know the future Trayvon could have had. He could have grown out of things as many such kids to; or he could have done something to get shot and killed by one of his peers, or maybe he got that gun he fantasized with and shot and killed someone else and landed in jail.

I felt that what happened was a mistake and misjudgment on Trayvon's part, no matter the situation that Zimmerman created. It seemed to me that Trayvon was intend on causing harm and making his point. If you don't have people willing to patrol and report suspicious activity the result is too fold; first the bad guys pick areas where people are unwilling or don't care, and second police become even less responsive where people don't seem to care or are aggressive towards them. Their main goal is to try to help out, but most just want to get though their day without problems.

Last is George Zimmerman and though I feel he was justified and justice was served. He will also be forever demonized and threatened. All things considered I feel only two things might have produced a better outcome. First is Trayvon was one the phone with 911 and not his girlfriend and if 911 was on its game, would have advised both to stay in place until the police arrived and my feeling is either problems would have been prevented (also talking of Trayvon's possible activity), and the misunderstanding would have been prevented.

The other thing would be if George Zimmerman pulled his gun out at the instant of confrontation. But that is one of those things, you only put a gun out if you are planning to pull the trigger, not to make a point and obliviously Zimmerman didn't feel that was appropriate at that time. If George Zimmerman was lucky, Trayvon would have put his hands in the air and back down. But I have had people point my own gun at me, loaded with snap caps (dummy ammo) and in most cases I am able to rush them and render their gun useless; I feel under that circumstance, Zimmerman could have been killed by Trayvon with his own gun.

In thinking of George Zimmerman, I also think of myself and in about six cases can say I am lucky not to be him. At my birth house there was a guy walking up the street and one thing was certain, in his state of mind something was about to happen and there wasn't even time to call the police, so I walked out to talk to him. I had that feeling that I needed my handgun, Dirty Harry's Smith and Wesson, model 29, though I doubted I really needed it.

With the gun at my side, I asked him to move on and he wanted to fight me. I told him point blank I have no intentions of fighting him and he needed to move on and find a place and a little time to calm down and think about things.

He told me point blank, "Fuck you, you're dead!" and went reaching into his coat. In less than half a second my gun was on him and I always cock by the time I was on target. His hands went instantly and he said he found God. He assured me he didn't have a weapon and I could check it out. I decided not to as that isn't my job and got him in a better frame of mind to move on and think about things.

I don't know how I didn't shot him as with a 3 1/2 pound trigger pull my reaction time was only .02 seconds. I walked back inside and put the gun on the coffee table and spent the next three hours wondering if saving my life was worth it because in Baltimore County it would have put me in jail for half of it, and it is stressed only the shooting not the reasons are the only thing they look at. I lucked out and the next week found myself followed by that individual at the shopping center.

I didn't feel he was a treat, and ironically it was an unusual day as everyone was friendly and talkative, even telling me their problems and me giving honest advice which I think blew the guys mind. I did put myself in close quarters of him, so I had to excuse myself as I passed him. I wanted to let him know it was the situation, not him that made me act the way I felt I had to.

I feel there is a need for civil rights leaders to oversee certain events, yet I feel they are too willing to not only take the wrong side, but to use it to keep themselves in the media and this was certainly one of them. In a case in Baltimore, a kid was assaulted by a community patrol that does a lot of good and right away it was turned into a racial situation.

But the damage to the teen presented, bore out in my mind as a act of self defense, as that kid acted confrontational and grabbed a plank, which justified the use of force. The problem is in Baltimore, they were demonized and the use of force wasn't excused by the courts. The adult that committed the assault served in the Israeli Special Forces and was more than capable of inflicting much more severe injuries.

I feel with the way many issues are presented, there is a lack or willingness to accept human nature; that there are bad kids who are disrespectful of authority and violent, as well a legitimate need to defend yourself.

Trayvon is far from alone in his plight and in every major city there is Trayvon every day, who makes the very decisions that results in their untimely death, usually at the hands of their peers who tolerate a lot less on the street. Now this is a call that I feel civil rights leaders should embrace and instead of accepting it as black culture and ignoring it, to teach people how not to be that way and to always respect others.

I was with my father on his worst day of his life. In 1989 my mother suffered a cardiac arrest in the home, but survived with severe brain damage. Months later she was residing for rehab at the Traumatic Brain Injury Unit at Sinai hospital and were on the elevator to leave when we heard, "Mr. Kohlman!"

We looked around but there was no body with us, "Hey Mr. Kohlman, no down here!"

We were looking at a young man in a wheel chair and my father knew his name, "What happened to you?"

"It's just like you said Mr. Kohlman ... You said I would be in jail, dead or in a wheel chair; well here I am! I turned my back after a drug deal and I was shot in it so the drug dealer not only got his money, but took back the drugs he sold me, I can't do any more bad now."

My father expressed his sympathy and the door open and the guy said, "You know Mr. Kohlman, I think you're the only honest man that I know." My father wished him the best.

Outside of the elevator, my father grabbed me and though gritted teeth hissed, "God Damn it Mike, I want you to know I wouldn't wish it on any of those kids. I told them that so they could wake up and change their ways before that happened." Dad caught so much grief from his supervisors, but not once did he capitulate to what he felt the truth was.

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