Writing Fiction posted August 8, 2013

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Boy tempted by lust and faith

Louise, part 1


I spotted her fingernails from across the diner. Long and brilliant red, I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I knew this was her section, I'd been here before.

Her lips were a shade darker than her fingernails, and her blonde hair was coiled like a snake on top of her head.

Her name tag read Louise.

She walked to my booth with a silky stride. Her walk was the kind that let me know she knew her effect on men. When she smiled at me, her lips looked like fresh blood paired against the white of bone.

"You're becoming a regular now, aren't you?" she said, pulling the small order pad out of her apron pocket. She touched the tip of the nubby pencil to her tongue and waited.

"What can I get for you?"

"A cup of coffee and a slice of peach pie."

I thought the coffee would make me seem older, but apparently it didn't fool Louise.

"Coffee will keep you up all night. A growing boy like you needs his sleep."

She winked when she said it, then turned away to put my order in.

I took my time eating the pie and drinking the bitter coffee. I just watched Louise as she worked her charm on the customers and flirted with the men who sat in her station. When her shift came to an end, it was past ten o'clock. She picked her sweater off the hook by the door and headed out.

I hung back, careful to stay in the shadows as she made her way down Main Street. She cut back down an alley and stopped behind a boarding house.

"Miss Louise," I called, stepping into the light so she could see me.

She frowned and pulled her sweater tighter around her.

"Did you follow me?" There was no sign of the friendliness she'd had in her voice earlier.

"Yes. Yes ma'am."

She planted one hand on her hip and reached into her pocket for a cigarette.

"Go home, junior," she finally said after taking a long drag on her smoke.

"My name is Tucker."

The smoke she exhaled covered the area between us. There was nothing beyond suspicion in her eyes.

"Well," she said, dropping the cigarette ash on the ground. "Go home, Tucker."

"I forgot to give you your tip."

Louise laughed.

"Now, that's a lie. You left a whopping twenty five cents on the table."

My face burned. I had taken two dollar bills out of the collection plate last Sunday. I had stolen from God in order to see Louise.

"How old are you, Tucker?"

"Eighteen," I mumbled as I looked down at the cobblestones in the alley.

"Another lie?"

"I'm almost eighteen. December. I'll be eighteen in December."

Louise drew in another lungful of smoke then held it out to me.

I took it, put it to my lips and tasted the oily residue from her lipstick. Stifling a cough, I handed it back to her.

"So, what's your story, Tucker?"

"My daddy's a preacher. I reckon that's what I'll be when I get older."

She reached up and undid her hair. Blonde tresses fell loose on her shoulders.

"Got no use for Men of God."

"Why's that?"

"Because their souls are usually darker than the souls they're trying to save."

We stood in the darkness of the alley in awkward silence. I fumbled in my pocket for whatever coins I had left.

Louise reached out and I thought she was going to take them, but she didn't. Instead she folded my fingers around the coins.

"Let's be honest. Forget the bullshit good manners. This isn't about the tip, now is it?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Louise brushed her red fingernails through her hair. She arched her back and twisted cat like before me.

"You like older women?"

My heart started slamming into my ribs. Palms were sweating and something strange started working its way from my core down. I swallowed as Louise licked her red lips and she slowly let her eyes roam over me from my head all the way down to my toes.

She moved closer to me. Her fingernails made me shiver as she lightly raked them down the side of my face. Without a word she moved one of her hands away. Where she placed it, made my legs go weak.

"Cat got your tongue?" she whispered. Her breath mingled with mine.

"I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

Louise murmured something as her lips brushed mine.

I could see the path that lay before me. I felt helpless as I moved along it. I was following Louise willingly, my fingers entwined with her painted ones. Forgive me, Jesus, I thought but I knew there was no going back.

To be continued...


For me, this is a long one. I will finish posting the second part either tonight or tomorrow. Any feedback welcome. Thank you to MoonWillow for the wonderful picture.
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