| General Non-Fiction posted December 8, 2012 | Chapters: |
...90 91 -92- 93 
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Language and situations.
A chapter in the book Performance Problems- My Life! LOL
Footsteps and Gefilte Fish (2)
by Mike K2
(Continued from Previous Chapter)
My only prayer in concluding this book was to simply be given a way to make my final points and little did I know regrettably, the perfect adventure would come my way to allow me to restate why I started this book in the first place.
There was an article in both the City Paper and also the Baltimore Sun about an exhibit at The Jewish Museum of Maryland titled, "Chosen Food." While the exhibit opened in late October of 2011, I had feared that I missed it so I checked on line and found the Jewish Museum had another carrot to offer me, "The Jewish Deli," a lecture offered by Ted Merwin in April of 2012 and the exhibit was still there.
There was no excuse for me now, so I immediately went and attended the lecture. With the buses the way they were, I chose to take an earlier one and had time to kill at the Jewish Museum, so I took their tour called, "The Synagogue Speaks."
There was a very nice man to lead us and it started off in the museum and then led out to the Llyod Street Synagogue, which was built in 1830 and of Greek design with the columns. This Synagogue is the third oldest in the country. Inside they had wood divisions with benches and a bimah was in the center, where they read from Torah.
In the area of the back wall they had the Ark that held the Torahs, which had a house shaped appearance and over it the words, "Know before whom you stand," in Hebrew. The Lloyd Street Synagogue had a few transformations it was owned by the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation, then it went into Catholic hands as St. John the Baptist Lithuanian. The synagogue once again became a Jewish house of worship under Shomrei Mishmeres Ha-Kodesh, until 1960 when it became part of the Heritage Museum.
What amazed me was, the Ark held rescued Torahs from the Holocaust; including one rescued from a spa in Bavaria as they had to go out of business because it became illegal for Jews to own businesses. Also one that was looted by the Nazis out of Czechoslovakia, as well one rescued just before Kristallnacht, as a Jewish person was tipped off that something bad was going to happen by a Christian friend.
While I was only in a Synagogue when my sister was married, this one had a completely familiar feel I couldn't put my finger on. The tour continued downstairs with showing us the Matzo oven, which for whatever reason seemed a special place to me and familiar as well. The main part of the basement was a museum of the Synagogue but in the back were the Mitzvah, a cleansing bath for Jewish people.
The next Synagogue we went to was on Llyod and Lombard Streets was the B' nai Israel and of Moorish design and that to strangely enough had a familiar feel, but totally different then the Lloyd Street one. I was glad to get back and it was just in time for the lecture on the Deli, which I enjoyed, but it had more an academic feel to it, then an entertaining one.
It was during this, I did notice a Jewish woman who seemingly orchestrated things, but I spent more time trying to figure out why she caught my eye, then looking at her; yet while paying the most attention to the lecture at hand. They had a few donated items to sample and then I checked out the museums, "Chosen Food," exhibit.
I felt it was nice as they had a computer operated display questioning you about which foods were Jewish; a lot of pots of pans from ethnic origins such as a Samovar from Russia and Tagine which originated from North Africa. There was a mock up of a kosher kitchen, but decided to keep my mouth shut about them not having a second refrigerator.
They covered holidays, weddings, delicatessens and mentioned the ethics of eating; even showing a special word, " Safe Treyfe," when eating Chinese food with little bits of pork in it; though otherwise observing Kosher, "What I can't see won't hurt me." Then it was the walk back to pick up the bus and home!
I fell in love with The Jewish Museum of Maryland, and did have plans to go back but sometime a year later. The whole place had the exact same feel to me as the Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg, Maryland, but that was a personal mystery to ponder at a later date.
Suddenly in October, I got a heads up from something Jewish that I wanted to tackle years before and it was discovered on the 98ROCK Morning Show of all places, as they had a woman from the museum and a lady from New York talking about the museum's up and coming GefiltaFest. I was all ears and listened.
The woman from the museum really cracked me up as no doubt the 98ROCK Morning Show was having a field day and the woman was actually trying to explain what Gefilte fish was, as well the lady from New York. Their struggle kept me laughing as the standard Jewish description was, "It's a fishy meatball."
Other things about the Jewish Woman from the museum captured my attention as she described other features at the museum and talked about a War of 1812 soldier named Mendis Cohen, who she referred to as a crush.
Later in the program I felt they were trying to send out feelers to set her and Josh Spiegel up for a date and asked her if she was single and she refused to answer the question. Next she was asked to nod her head and she refused to even to that because there were cameras in the studio.
This sort of shocked me, and I could only think, Well she is either in a relationship her parents and the Jewish community wouldn't approve of; or she decided to save herself and is totally disgusted of trying to explain it to people without getting a lot of bullshit over, it and I didn't blame her.
I was hassled for years about not having relationships and suffered with relentless accusations of being gay and nonstop advice about getting a relationship by going to bars, picking up drunk women and getting laid. Then when I said it was unacceptable, "What are you gay or something?" or comments that I masturbate.
I finally settled for, "Hey look, I got it taken care of and it's none of you business anyway." Not that I didn't have those thoughts or desire for women, but also I didn't like the thought I would have the next morning of, Oh God, what do I do with her now? I couldn't help but wonder if this was the Jewish woman I looked at in the museum.
My return to the Jewish Museum would be a lot earlier then I originally planned. I was there as a Gefilte spy because I wanted a better understanding of what gefilte actually is, possibly some recipes other then, "Buy the jar..." and to see if anyone can tell me how I want to make it; by putting it back into the fish.
I made it to the GefiltaFest and it turned out to be a free event so I didn't have to pay, and I couldn't help but ask about the 98ROCK Morning Show and the reply was, "Well [the Jewish Woman] had an adventure. The name of the woman matched the person I was looking at and I couldn't help but comment to her about the show. She was friendly and basically indicated it was something else, an adventure as well her and I told her she did fine.
Being early again, I took the tour of the, "Chosen Food," exhibit which was lead by the museum's executive director, Marvin Pinkert. I quite enjoyed it and complimented him at the end and he was appreciative. I mentioned my quest for Indian food and working with the Hindus and learning to cook Halal. I did mention the Palestinian family and he seemed to get edgy and found a reason to walk off.
Liz from Gefilteria in New York was up talking about Gefilte fish and I found it interesting and informative. There was a comment, I believe that mentioned the Gefilte throw down was actually a physical fight and she put it out there, "I'm from New York and if you want to fight, I'll fight!" I loved the quick and witty response she had and think she scared everyone else.
What I liked the most was Liz explaining her operation and how she become certified kosher by the Va'ad of Queens and how she used a rented kitchen as opposed to owning one. I was most impressed and the lecture alone was a wonderful reason to come. I did enjoy the samples she had on the spot as well.
The, "Throw Down!" was about to begin, so they had us go outside and line up to collect our ticket. Needless to say this generated a lot of unexpected wisecracks and they assured us this was so we could vote for the best Gefilte Fish. The throw down was held in the parking lot with the contestants lined up behind tables next to the museum's building.
I had to laugh as another staff member complained that his idea of a, "Smack Down," was dubbed too aggressive. I said it was actually more perfect because Liz is from New York and will scrap with anybody.
Liz from Gefilteria was in the center, while to her right was Sue, a staff member and representing the, "Housewife." To Liz's left was, Dave, a chef from Wit and Wisdom and he was chosen because he really didn't know what gefilte fish was, but decided to give it a try. To me this was going to be interesting because he had fire to use!
The Masters of Ceremony was Aaron Hankin from WYPR radio who was also the event's sponsor and he did a wonderful job of keeping the program going and interesting. He also didn't escape some reference to being Scott the Producer in disguise. I was impressed with the crowd as they had about ninety people.
Sue started with her housewife method and really, it was about the sauce she put together as she purchased her Gefilte Fish premade and in a roll, the sauce was a mixture of onion, tomato and celery and she did a fine job of illustrating the housewife's plight when it comes to cooking.
My favorite was Liz from Gefilteria as she was actually demonstrating how to make it from scratch and needless to say, I had to always have one eye and ear on what she was doing, as I decided to take photographs as I always seemed inclined to do. Dave had his own take too, as he made his Gefilte Fish as a precooked sausage, but his dilemma was, he battered them up like corndogs and deep fried them in oil. It was no easy feat because the wind was knocking the temperature all over the place, so he definitely demonstrated his skill.
Liz put her Gefilte Fish in a loaf pan and bakes it, but when asked if she was going to use what she made, she said she wouldn't because of the unsanitary conditions. Dave and I had a lot of fun with that, as we both camped and in reality, the outdoors wasn't unsanitary at all provided you still did the basics on food preparation. No one even got sick if you dropped food on the ground and cooked it, but that depended just how hungry you were.
It was time for sampling and poor Dave had to be left alone as he struggled with cooking the samples everyone wanted, and Sue had a couple of problems, first she made her Gefilte balls to big and didn't have enough to go around, second quite a lot of Jewish people were put off by her sauce as the didn't consider it Jewish and even the attempts of other Jewish people to explain there is a Jewish population in Spain didn't help change their minds.
Liz was besieged by people asking advice about making Gefilte, and I could only admire her and nicked named her, "Scrappy Doo," from the Scooby Doo show. This was the first time I wished my father was alive because he didn't usually have too much an opinion on women, but would classify her as, "There's a woman you want to pick a fight with just to see how bad she will kick your ass, and it'll keep you real." I felt she was fantastic and really loved the fact she didn't have hesitations to answer questions.
It was time for judging, and it was a struggle with me between Liz and Dave. Sue sort of slipped out of contention as their just weren't enough samples to give out. I was a bit upset as had I known, I could have helped her to work it out better as I have been in those situations with cooking for parties at home and twice as many people show up as planned for.
I loved Liz's Gefilte Fish and it was by far the best traditional Gefilte I ever had, and wonderfully presented as well. I only would have liked to see about double the portion on the cracker as I felt it would have added the right proportion for flavor to the cracker.
It was a hard decision, but I gave my vote to Dave, as he had used Cobia fish which gave it a wonderful flavor, I liked the sweetness of his corn dog batter, as opposed of it being in the fish, as well this was his first attempt at making Gefilta. Dave won the contest, but only by three votes and while deserved in my mind, I was glad it was that close with Liz as she deserved great consideration as well, and most likely if Dave wasn't there, she'd a gotten my vote as well.
But nobody could help me with the project I always wanted to do, put the Gefilta back into the fish, and that idea did get a lot of attention, and unlike other times, a bit of respect instead of ridicule. I also paid attention to the Jewish Woman and just really felt she had a wonderful spirit about her. I just had to try and asked if I could get a photograph of us and with her agreeing, it not only surprised me, it made my day.
To top it all off, Dave had about two pounds of Gefilte left and gave it to me, I was going to have a lot of fun with it! I left the museum, but not before saying goodbye to everybody and telling the front desk what a special place I thought the museum was. But when I compared it to Emmitsburg and mentioned what happened to me, the elderly lady got upset and tried to ignore me. The younger one seemed interested, but I thought out of respect for the other lady, appeared not to pay attention.
I got home, did up the photographs and posted them. To me it was a coo to get the photograph with the Jewish Woman and was amazed to find her leaning in towards me, and I couldn't resist adding to the caption, "I can't believe, [she] said yes to me! Well posing for the photograph that is... I credited her and the staff, but I couldn't resist adding, "It looks like Popeye and Olive Oyl to me."
I also caught wind of their program which was going to be happening the next Thursday, "Nothing Beets Borsh(t)" I took off that week to complete this book, and decided one evening won't hurt me. I was not a fan of Borsch, as the jarred soup left me unimpressed to say the least, so I sort of had the mystery, Is Borsch made by a Russian Jew any better? I was looking anyway for a vegetable concoction to add to my diet.
With my donated Gefilte, it was off to work and already had toothpicks in the sausage sized pieces. At first one person who always tried what I made took one look and refused, as he compared it to Sushi, but after an explanation, he tried it and loved it! Other people were more game and loved it as well and to a large extent, knocked the humor right out of the Gefilte!
I started thinking as the director of the Jewish Museum wanted photographs of my Gefilte if I made it in the fish's skin, and knowing they have photographers at events; I decided to see if I could bring mine to the museum for their photographers to shoot, and to donate it to the table if they so desired.
Now I wondered just how much of the vacation would have to be used for this, and regardless had to purchase my fish poaching pan, so I also had to pay the big bucks to have it shipped second day. A poaching pan is long and thin, with an insert to keep the fish off the bottom. I thought I ordered the 24inch long model, but what was called express shipping had the same 1 week guarantee as standard service, with only the hope it would arrive sooner.
In all honesty, I wasn't sure the museum was going to opt for this, which was fine; and while I put a call into them about this, another problem cropped up; Hurricane Sandy hit and she was intense and long to sit though. This closed the Museum down for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday so the message would be received late.
There was no way, I could do Kosher completely, but I wanted the maximum number of Jewish people to try it, so I decided to purchase dedicated equipment for making Gefilta Wednesday. I figured at the Towson Market place, it was best to use Walmart and try to stay out of the Bed, Bath and Beyond if at all possible.
I was happy to get all the equipment I could need and it only stressed the budget, it didn't break it. I put the call into the director and he requested that I talk to the Jewish Woman, and got a messaged call back from her, but the Museum had already closed.
It was now Thursday and the day of the Borsch event, and before I could call her, had to go to Lexington Market to get the fish I was planning to use as Faidley's which was the only fish market that provided fresh, whole fish that I trusted. They also had the best chances of having the rockfish that I wanted for the skin.
As usual, anything Baltimore city wasn't going to be pleasant. I knew I would get a bus because it was rush hour and they dare don't screw with that and I was at Faidley's before it opened, but their ice making machine was broken so I was told they would open late.
I finally got a 22 inch rockfish and two trout about a foot long each ,and had them simply scale and gut them. Though they were on ice, time was of the essence so I went immediately to the bus stop, but the schedule had already slowed. To make it worse, one other white guy beside me decided to flip a person going into the bus the bird and made a scene.
When the bus, which was the one I wanted, got the stop; he kept driving on even though I was waving with bus pass in hand. It would be another hour before the 19, and the one I got on took its turn on Northern Parkway, so I got off there and decided to show off my fish at work. It's one of those deals, those that didn't like fish ran away, while my fish got gawked at, with those who loved them. I was happy everyone felt I had a fine catch, but time was running out.
I finally met on the phone with the Jewish Woman and she explained the photographers won't be there and it wasn't an event that they would put my fish out. To be honest, I felt it was for the best ... I was so exhausted I needed to crash and even if I had to try to make the fish, I might miss the Borsch event anyway. I had the sense of satisfaction of doing my best and the damn fish poaching pan hadn't made it to my house anyway.
I made it to the event and was immediately surprised that hardly any people were there. One guy came in, basically to scope things out in my mind, and tell everybody who he is. At this event the big deal was their open free bar (with donation bucket) because the Jewish Woman made up her Manischewitz "sangria."
They had a male worker tending the bar and we chatted and postulated about her concoction, and we opted for a beer as a Blue Moon fit in well with my plans to relax. The guy who came in basically indicated that he was too important to stay so he had to leave, which I don't think bothered anyone.
It now seemed to me it was going to be a lecture for one, namely me, but I was happy to see a couple more people show up, a woman and a man who came in separately and maybe a couple of others as well. I lamented with the work that goes into these things there weren't more people attending.
The lady who did the demonstration was Olga Berman who has a food blog site called, "mangotomato.com." I found the whole thing very interesting as you don't do what most do and throw all the vegetables in a pot and boil it. She used two pots and boiled some of the vegetables and saute'ed others in a frying pan. Then at the right times she combined them into two soup pots, which was a bit of a juggle of her.
She got to provide some information about her food site, then asked what everyone likes to cook and I replied Cajun and got a fee, "oohs," and then mentioned that I learned to cook Indian including Halal and got a few, "Aahs." Another lady mentioned she is strictly vegetarian as for a school field trip, they went to a Kosher butcher and she couldn't stand to eat meat after that. The Jewish Woman then mentioned that she liked to bake and her hands shot up in the air and opened and closed as she said, "I like kneading, it works out the frustrations and is therapeutic."
I laughed like hell at this, but suddenly stopped when I got the thought, Oh shit, I'd have to buy her a fucking bakery! With the Borsch completed, it was time to sample and I enjoyed photographing the crowd before I tried it myself, and discovering that making it her way, really does make it taste nice.
There was a little social time and I think guilt had me try a sample of the Manischewitz sangria, as the Jewish Woman made it, but mot being a Manischewitz fan, the fruit in it only made it more off putting. I could help but feel, Well is this is her drink of choice and she goes wild with it, you're going to need a diabetes test kit and insulin.
I enjoyed chatting with the Jewish Woman and we talked Gefilte and I told her there are no bad feelings and most likely by the time I would have finished it, would be exhausted and missed the event anyway. With all the work I had put in, I was exhausted anyway, but loved chatting with her as I loved the museum and also had wonderful feelings about her.
When I left, I just couldn't resist and told her, "[Woman,] I really dig you." I was totally shocked to see her smile and blush, but that warmed my heart up so much, on the bus trip home, I couldn't help but think about things. To me she was indeed special and I was glad to run across her as her qualities refreshed my view about women in my life.
The next day, it was Gefilta time, but I felt it best to put it off until evening, as the fish was still good and I wanted to work on this book. I started my Gefilte Adventure around 6:00pm. My main kitchen was trashed, but I have an apartment sized kitchen upstairs, and with the ex taking the furniture there were now two rows of shelves to act as tables; though with only enough room for a caver to enjoy like me to enjoy; it made for a wonderful prep and process kitchen.
I covered the shelves with tin foil and started to flesh and debone the fish, Well, there's nothing Kosher about ripping out a fish from its skin. Luckily I know skinning and fleshing. I had to get my fingers behind the spine and breaking all the little bones going to the fins. I was amazed just how easy it was. I took what meat I could get and put it in the flesh pile, while the bones went into the stock pot.
The trout was much easier and although it was the first time I filleted a fish, it worked out wonderfully, with the rest going into the stock pot. I used a recipe from the Dan Hotel in Israel and made the stock of fish remains, with onion, carrot and in my case, a small turnip and parsley. I ground the fish and added ground hardboiled egg, sugar, salt and white pepper; mixed it up with the raw egg and put it into the fish. Since the poaching pan finally arrived, I married the fish with the broth and cooked it up.
I couldn't wait to have the completed and cooked fish out of the over for its final photographic opportunity, but I discovered I had fleshed it to close and the skin was dissolved and reticulated. I tasted it and was immediately put off as it tasted like buttered and caramel popcorn, but since this is a chilled dish I had to wait anyway.
In the morning, it tasted great! I was happy that some of the sweetness had gone away and not being a fish skin person, actually felt it being left on gave it a great taste; but what to do with four pounds of Gefilte Fish? I decided to package some up for work and let everyone try mine.
The same people that tried Dave's from the GefilteFest, absolutely loved it and had seconds and the few that said they didn't like it fell into my plans. With them I pouted and said, "But it's made with rockfish... They worked through their dilemma and tried it, and thought it was pretty good themselves.
My biggest coup was, there was a guy there that is a Born Again Christian who prides himself on eating Biblically. Not necessarily a fish loving person, but with the Kosher implication, had to try it and he said it was good as well. People also had their fun with me and accused me of turning Jew, and other's asked why I would have anything to do with Jewish anything, "You're Christian."
I saw myself as an elderly Jewish woman from New York who felt she had nothing to lose, and imitating her voice I said, "Let me let you in on to a little secret, Jesus isn't Christian, he Jewish! He never condemned the religion." Then in my own voice, I added, "Besides is just plain fun!"
I knew it was good, but now it was time for the acid test, so I packed up a Gefilte presentation for the Baltimore Poetry Discussion Group meeting and knowing there were a few Jewish people there, felt it was going to be interesting.
I came early and set it out and with a few members there, was asked what I made and when I mentioned Gefilte Fish. One of the livelier one's of the bunch jumped back and yelled, "What! A gentile making a national Jewish dish, come on!" To him it was not only unbelievable; he made sure to get his ribbings in as well.
I went for the double barreled shotgun, "I also made it in the skin."
The only thing that I can quote here is stunned silence. "And I made it with rockfish and trout and used a recipe from the Dan Hotel."
Another Jewish person said, "The Dan Hotel? In Israel?" He was totally shocked and I explained how I purchased the Jewish and Israeli Cookbooks, as well explained their importance to me.
Then it was time to try and I put out the horseradish, rye points and the crackers. "You bought Tam-Tams, you're not going to tell me you drove all the way across town to get these?"
"I don't drive, I walk!" After the shock value wore off; I added, "No, I just walked to the Giant just up the road from me and purchased them there. They have a small kosher section I occasionally pick things up from."
I didn't realize that everybody at that poetry discussion was going to be Jewish that day, but they all seemed to love the Gefilte Fish and I was truly humbled at the compliments. I mentioned my frustration at having to figure out how to get the fish out of its skin, and I also gave them the low down on The Jewish Museum of Maryland's, GefilteFest.
The same boisterous person said, "Jewish Museum! Now that you have the first part of you conversion to Judaism down, the food! Maybe we can get you to do the final part of the conversion and get circumcised!"
With that comment being so close to mention of the Jewish Museum, I had the horrible vision of that suggestion being lodged with the museum as a letter and in no way did I want my name being mentioned as the sacrificial lamb and going across the Jewish Woman's desk.
It was with great joy that I was able to reply, "I hate to tell you, it's in the Bible too and my parents already made the decision on that one." Everyone got a chuckle out of it and we went into our poetry discussion. At the end I was shocked, as the person who mentioned the Dan Hotel in Israel, said he would love me to make him one.
"Wow! That's four hours work and $60.00 in fish!"
"I'll pay it, it's worth it!" That got everyone's attention.
There was another person there who was a definite introvert, and had a very abstract-defensive type of humor; but when he decided to speak, he was like an absolute genius. When he was asked, he laughed and said, "I survived!" as he shot out the door. I did receive an unexpected Facebook apology as the person never could eat Gefilte Fish.
I started to think about things, and since the Jewish Museum was the preverbal boot up my ass, I felt that they too deserved to be afforded the opportunity to try my Gefilte fish, so I made a care package and just about gave them the remaining fish, along with horseradish, home cultured sour cream, tam-tams and rye points.
I took the bus and made it there and the ladies at the front desk, another elderly woman as well a staff member, who seemed surprised and promised to put it away for the museum staff to try. I figured I would take in the other exhibit, "The Voices of Lombard Street."
I was intently interested as my own maternal grandmother came from near the area at the turn of the century and I enjoyed the depiction of the early life which appeared to be exactly described as my Grandma told it to me. The only one inaccuracy in my opinion and experiences was their latrine, as I haven't saw one yet without a crack board to attempt to sit on without getting pinched; and more of a chess game if it is a two-seater. I also made fun of the latrine, because it was a varnished, "Cadillac," model. While nice to look at, it was far from practical and I had my ass frozen to enough seats made from plain wood during subzero weather.
The exhibit continued with the working conditions in the struggling conditions, as well the store front stores, delis and butchers; then moved on to the time the whole area transitioned and some events, like the riots which prompted the Jewish people move away from the area.
I showed the staff, my favorite part of the exhibit which was had a mock up of a butcher shop with chickens in it and told the story of my grandmother's pet duck, and mentioned the poem I adapted, "My pet goose."
I know I talked to the Jewish Woman, and while I don't remember the conversations it was warm, friendly and I loved the smile that I seemed to be able to generate. It made me wonder if she had feelings for me, as I now had increasing ones for her, but I was too afraid to say anything.
I said goodbye the women at the desk and to me, the museum still had the same exact feeling as the Shrine at Emmitsburg. I mentioned that perceived oddity to them, but had to tell them what happened to me there, and the elderly woman seemed to jump and then immediately start doing her crossword puzzle.
The other staff member at the desk seem to do the same, but I felt she had taken the lead from the elderly woman, but might have been interested and continued to explain hoping to at least conclude the story. I was happy and this time the bus ride home was consumed with thoughts about the Jewish Woman.
What I liked most about the Jewish Woman was simply her qualities and the fact she acted like a lady, which helped to offset what I saw on the streets from where I lived. I loved watching her work her magic at the events and she always seemed a pleasing, enjoyable person; and what a joy that someone still had the ability to create feelings in me.
With the Gefilte Fish out of the way, I started thinking of the experience and started to realize the adventure alone had just about all the elements of anything I had written in this book, plus with the feelings the Jewish Woman had generated I felt had the cords of a crown knot to it, as well a fairly positive ending, where I could at least use those feelings I had, for a positive conclusion and message.
It had culture, a religion I had not yet incorporated into my work, as well interesting people and food stories. Especially since I had wanted to make Gefilte for such a long time, finished the food adventure aspect off perfectly. It also had a real nice 98ROCK tie in, and the qualities of the Jewish Woman I could laud a bit, as I enjoyed the lady like persona she had.
It is one of those deals; I had to query myself on my feelings and whether or not there was at least a potential relationship and future. The more I thought about the Jewish Woman; the more I felt indeed, the potential was there, but as it translated to the book, I would be willing for the relationship which added a hope aspect to the conclusion of my life.
It was so nice to be able to make someone smile, blush and appear to be touched by even simple compliments, but this also had its element of frustration as I what I loved best was the Jewish Woman simply working her magic at work for people.
Given that I really loved the museum, this was more a mental indulgence as I had no desire to let the bad karma of what desire and dating caused to enter in and get me in trouble with the woman or the museum. I thanked God for the story I was going to use and prayed that the museum would keep up its activities and the Jewish Woman would very simply remain friendly and seemingly caring towards me.
To me, she was beautiful and what I loved was that her grace shown though, though she kept herself in a Plain Jane sort of way. To me the beauty still shined though and I was happy about finding a person who won't be lost in the mirror at all times, to the exclusion of all else including common sense.
I was not only hoping my interaction with the Jewish Woman was not only a positive for me at the museum, but that it could lead to other meetings outside of the museum, yet that had trepidations for me. I loved the idea of getting together and enjoying life as we get to know the other more personally; but I was fearful of declaring dating.
That was something that I just couldn't do, as like doing the Gefilte Fish project, I would have to make personal sacrifices just to go out on occasion. Before my marriage, dating had also proved to myself that I had bought a woman, and she expected far more in marriage then with dating; unrealistically so.
I also worked that split-shift, and trying to devote such time would totally wreck me and if it affected the bread and butter to pay the bills. I feared, I would have no choice then to end a dating relationship; not to mention I wouldn't be getting any sleep and further running myself ragged. In addition to work, I also loved writing and again, fearful that to go out with her, I would have to hang up that aspect of my life which provided so much joy for me and totally devote that time to her.
With blocking out the time to work or think about this book, I had to totally let the house go and hated the feeling of her reaction to seeing the house in the condition I had let it get into; fearing that I kidnapped both Howard Hughes and John Belushi.
I remember the reaction of my photography teacher from high school when the house was in much better order and haven't communicated with him since. I doubt with a prospective woman, "At least I don't pee in the bottles yet," wouldn't really work. My desire was that if there is any relationship outside of the museum, it would go very slow and we simply enjoy the time we do find for the other.
Of course with thoughts of love it is an endless logic argument of, "What, If, And, Or, Else." I didn't know the exact type of Judaism she practiced, so I figured she would be fairly conservative and perhaps there would be expected time with her family, and I didn't see any family member impressed with me for a whole variety of reasons.
First is the obvious age difference. I thought, Well you could take them to your favorite cave; three hundred feet up a mountain, a twenty foot rappel down a cliff face to the ledge, the first thirty minute crawl through clay dust under an ancient sea. That might impress the museum curiosity of [the Jewish Woman] but... With the chimneying, twisting, turning, climbing, crawling, horrid ear scraping tight spots, and jumping for about ten hours. I doubt they would be happy to see you getting up the next morning to get them moving again, no matter how much pain is in your system.
Could take them to work, so they can see what you do as they watch ...Offloading pallets of paper, humping 150 pound cartons, reloading the skids, cutting; mixing inks and washing up presses, while everyone else watches, except for Mr. Ed who is the only person who offers to help me at age 75. Well, I bet they would totally disdain for you for such labor. Could take the men out in a snow storm and prove I was the only person not to drop.
The difference in religions didn't bother me in the least, but I doubt they wouldn't share my attitude in that either. As far as I was concerned, I had no interest in taking away what made the Jewish Woman great in my mind, or forcing any belief I had on her. Personally I could accept Judaism as well as practice it, as it wasn't too far off the mark and I had some knowledge of them as well.
Even if I practiced Judaism, I still couldn't consider myself a Jewish person because I believed very much in Christ and all that I would expect is to be respected in my belief. Then again, how do you explain your belief isn't one of worship or practice, but a face to face one ... I, fucked up? God, what happened even put you at odds with your own churches, Oy vey!
To me the Jewish woman was also very attractive, but I loved the Plain Jane about her the most, as it was the qualities and the way she was I found most appealing. She was also a very short and petite person, and so much so, I did check out her Facebook page and the only information available was she attended a college which put my mind to rest about her age. I never sought out to Facebook friend her because I usually don't try to friend women and the few times I did, not only had to. "unfriend," them, but block them as well.
With the feelings she garnered from me, there was a definite place in my arms and I could see having her melt in my arms for a hug, and I had that desire of a kiss, as well a place in my lap for her to rest or a body to cuddle. I didn't have much thought towards sex, as I know my mistake and felt that perhaps, she was saving herself. If there was to be making love, I just prayed to God that it would complement the relationship and not complicate it.
No matter what, I felt family would be involved and no doubt if a relationship was forming with the Jewish Woman, the family would expect me to make a good argument on how I would support her and a family; this is where I became over-emotional and angry at myself.
There is a fairly deregulatory word, JAP, for Jewish American Princess. Well in my opinion she deserved to be treated like a princess and perhaps with her qualities, it wouldn't go to her head. The best I could do was The Fiddler on the Roof. That was when I got mad and threw something; because how can I make an argument about supporting someone to their parents when I couldn't make it to myself.
"Well, I went for love and lost everything trying to secure it?" Good intentions or doing the right thing doesn't matter to most people who would only view me as a fool!
While I didn't hold out high hopes for such a love to develop from the Jewish Woman's side, if it did there would only be one reason, we had a true love for the other and with that, any hurdle or deficiency would be dealt with and accepted. I remained very happy because of the positive relationship that seemed to exist at the museum, and it I figure in the vast future it would play itself out as an ideal or ordeal for me.
I felt the ideals she seemed to have as well their effect upon me deserved to be preserved in an attributed poem regarding love. On Thursday, I both wrote and penned the poem, "The Light of Love." A poem that both lay tribute to the Jewish Woman's qualities and the effect it was having upon me, as I compared my discovery to the light that held the miracle of the endless oil which is represented by the Menorah.
At the time, I felt it was the least I could do to celebrate such qualities and feelings. I loved the reviews the poem received as I posted it online, but really didn't have the thought of giving it to the Jewish Woman because of the effect I felt my last attributed love poem foisted upon me, "Robin's Poem."
With the inclusion of my Gefilta adventure in this book, I was hoping not to ruffle any feathers as it meant a return visit to the museum once again to take the Synagogue tour and view the exhibits to take notes. I was particularly interested in listing the rescued Toras. The ulterior motive was to debunk my feelings that The Jewish Museum of Maryland had the exact same feel as The National Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, in Emmitsburg.
I got off the bus at Baltimore's Inner Harbor and made the walk down Lombard Street in the direction of the museum and I noticed this guy did a double take and when he looked at me a second time, he appeared just to about shit himself. I recognized him as one of the armed robbers from the year before.
I made sure to give him the same exact smile that I did after they were walking away from their robbery, then coyly disappeared to unnerve the guy. He wasn't the person that stabbed me, but the one who was walking satellite around me.
I was hoping if they were worried about suddenly being confronted by me, they would be looking over their shoulder too much to rob anyone else. One thing was for sure, going to the museum definitely presented its element of danger for me, and I had to be ever vigilant to who was around me or even hiding in the shadows.
I stated at the museum, I was there due to, "Unintended consequences," as the Gefilte Adventure would be a wonderful way to finish the biography I was working on and mentioned it had most of the elements of the book. They seemed a bit shocked, but also touched they would be included in my book.
I paid my eight bucks and waited for the tour which would be starting soon. I came as early as I could because I wanted to get in, get out and get writing towards completion of this book. I had no intention of bothering the Jewish Woman, since I was skittish about the unexpected visit, but she popped out of the hall which had a partition dividing it so I said, "Hi!" and she waved back with a smile.
This time it was set up for a social in relation to the B'nai Israel Synagogue. The director was also there and I talked with him about being a volunteer at The National Aquarium in Baltimore and the fun I had, as well mention the Taylors. He immediately stated, "Well, everything's so sensitive these days." The statement struck me as a little queer, but I lauded the Taylors as co directors, but when I mentioned my dealings with Jeff Jerome of the Poe House, he once again walked off before I could finish.
I also enjoyed another staff member walking up to me and introducing herself. I saw the Jewish Woman with a 15 month old, little girl and I couldn't help but wonder if they were related, as I enjoyed the interaction of the two. I wondered if she picked up on my thought line as she stated, "This is the Rabbi's daughter," then she pointed out his wife.
The Jewish Woman invited me to enjoy the food they had laid out, which made me feel honored, but I declined as the tour was about to start. I did enjoy chatting with her and explaining my return. I liked the Rabbi who showed a certain grace with his appearance with the, "Nothing Beets Borsch," demonstration.
This time I did chance talking with him and asked for a little commentary on people skittishness around the museum and he seemed a bit perplexed to explain things as well. I mainly wanted to gain information on whether I was breaking some taboo or custom. Then I when I described the conversation where the director walked off for the first time at the Chosen Foods during the GefilteFest, he too walked off as well.
The Synagogue tour started, and I was joined by two members of the media, from an out of state Jewish publication; I thought this was perfect and as we walked the street, a couple other people also joined the tour.
Since the exact same person was leading the tour, I was happy just how much of it was as I remembered. But then we went from the ark, to the basement and I brought up the rescued Torahs. The guide stated that he was told to omit them because the museum felt it made the tour too long.
I asked if he would cover them anyway as it was the reason I retook the tour and added, "I'll let them know I made you include them so I can take the blame; that's why I am retaking the tour." The other media there really appreciated this as well.
Unlike I thought at my debunking, the second tour of the Synagogues only cemented the feelings I had with comparing them to The Shrine of Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emittsburg, Maryland. The Lloyd Street Synagogue reminded me exactly of the Old Chapel, while the Matzo oven and mitzvah area reminded me of the other buildings at The National Shrine.
Though much less elaborate, the B'Nai Israel Synagogue had the exact same feel as the basilica as well the museum portion of the place seemingly matched that of The National Shrine's as well, though it was laid out muh differently. This, "feel," had me absolutely astounded as it never happened to me before.
The Jewish Woman was still there going between the welcome desk and the spread for the synagogue. She asked me if I was coming to, "The Sabbath Tables," and I replied, "No, I plan to come to, "A Taste of Hutzler's," but if you think it is important, I will attend the, 'Sabbath Tables,' one."
There was absolute silence and I wondered if it was because she didn't want me to come, she wanted me to arrive at my own decision or it was some sort of a test. I finished with, "I wasn't expecting to, but will rethink my decision as I do want to learn more about the Jewish faith." I felt it was at least a safe answer.
Then the Executive Director walked up to her within earshot and said something along the lines of, "I want you to add [someone or the other] to next year's GefiteFest as they have a wonderful recipe for Gefilte fish..." He then took her behind the patrician to continue talking so I couldn't understand them.
I was left wondering, Is this for my benefit, or a snub of some sort? I had to question the entire timing as I felt a note on her desk would have been a better way. It's like this, while I enjoyed making my in-the-fish Gefilte, and did offer it for a future event, if they didn't want me to participate, I would be fine with it.
Even though I purchased dedicated equipment; not being there would save me hundreds of dollars and a full day's work, plus a day at the event. I never worried about winning such a competition because if it is on the up and up, you never know how the crowd will vote;. If it isn't you won't win anyway. To me, it struck me as a pussy-like move on the part of the director, especially because of the way it seemed to go down.
Finally for my day it was off to the, "Chosen Food," and, "The Voices of Lombard Street," exhibits to take photographs, notes and work up an outline. Afterwards, I did gather some of the staff and took them in the Lombard Street exhibit to show them my favorite part, which was the mock up of the butcher shop and explained my grandmother lived around this area at the turn of the century and adopted a pet duck that became soup, as well the poem I created called, "My Pet Goose."
With all my work done, I was hankering to leave and get back home to once again write on this book. I did bring the copy of the attributed poem that I wrote for her, and stated to think about things, which really made me wrestle with myself on whether or not to give it to her. For whatever reason, I started thinking about Jim Morrison and felt he would expect a poem such as this to be delivered to the person that inspired the work.
I once again got her attention, and explained that she touched me very much and with being a poetic writer, felt she was due the honor of an attributed poem. I also explained my belief that the last one I wrote was handled very punitively and I almost lost my house over this because what I felt it did to my salary, so was a bit scared.
I then handed it to her, and I think her immediate reaction was of both shock and disbelief and then tears when she started reading it. I explained that it is attributed, but not by name, because how she appeared to be on the radio station. I let her know I would love to put her name to this, but it would be best if she gives me the permission.
At that point, I started to walk out, but was also consumed with the emotions this generated and couldn't help but wonder if the Jewish Woman is a blessing to God, or what I called, "The Muslim Woman's Curse," which was a actual prayer that God finds someone for me and lets me know everything's alright to be with her, as well letting her know the same about me.
With that so strongly on my mind, I walked up to the woman at the desk who I think pretty much knew I had feelings for the Jewish Woman; I couldn't help but to tell that story. I noticed the Jewish Woman looking and sort of cocking her head and shining an eye at me, I thought, God Mike; you even love her evil eye! I wondered if she believed me or simply thought I was flirting with anything that moved.
I left feeling elated and happy that I found such a wonderful place to visit, and it wasn't until I was back on the bus that I made the decision to go to, "Sabbath Tables," for a variety of reasons. With always working till I dropped, I never observed the Sabbath and would enjoy doing so; I also did want to know more about how Jewish people celebrate the Sabbath. I figured with perhaps with being there, it would make the Jewish Woman more comfortable with the idea of spending time together if that was going to be in the cards.
I was so happy to find a place I really enjoyed visiting in Baltimore, I expressed my thankfulness to God, and promised to do my best with maintaining the good relations I felt were there; and while fearful as this is the point where all hell seems to break loose, it wouldn't be happening at the museum.
I had long wanted to devote a portion of my biweekly pay check to purchasing museums memberships as Baltimore has that many; I made the decision to start with getting one for The Jewish Museum of Maryland.
(Continued next chapter)
(Continued from Previous Chapter)
My only prayer in concluding this book was to simply be given a way to make my final points and little did I know regrettably, the perfect adventure would come my way to allow me to restate why I started this book in the first place.
There was an article in both the City Paper and also the Baltimore Sun about an exhibit at The Jewish Museum of Maryland titled, "Chosen Food." While the exhibit opened in late October of 2011, I had feared that I missed it so I checked on line and found the Jewish Museum had another carrot to offer me, "The Jewish Deli," a lecture offered by Ted Merwin in April of 2012 and the exhibit was still there.
There was no excuse for me now, so I immediately went and attended the lecture. With the buses the way they were, I chose to take an earlier one and had time to kill at the Jewish Museum, so I took their tour called, "The Synagogue Speaks."
There was a very nice man to lead us and it started off in the museum and then led out to the Llyod Street Synagogue, which was built in 1830 and of Greek design with the columns. This Synagogue is the third oldest in the country. Inside they had wood divisions with benches and a bimah was in the center, where they read from Torah.
In the area of the back wall they had the Ark that held the Torahs, which had a house shaped appearance and over it the words, "Know before whom you stand," in Hebrew. The Lloyd Street Synagogue had a few transformations it was owned by the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation, then it went into Catholic hands as St. John the Baptist Lithuanian. The synagogue once again became a Jewish house of worship under Shomrei Mishmeres Ha-Kodesh, until 1960 when it became part of the Heritage Museum.
What amazed me was, the Ark held rescued Torahs from the Holocaust; including one rescued from a spa in Bavaria as they had to go out of business because it became illegal for Jews to own businesses. Also one that was looted by the Nazis out of Czechoslovakia, as well one rescued just before Kristallnacht, as a Jewish person was tipped off that something bad was going to happen by a Christian friend.
While I was only in a Synagogue when my sister was married, this one had a completely familiar feel I couldn't put my finger on. The tour continued downstairs with showing us the Matzo oven, which for whatever reason seemed a special place to me and familiar as well. The main part of the basement was a museum of the Synagogue but in the back were the Mitzvah, a cleansing bath for Jewish people.
The next Synagogue we went to was on Llyod and Lombard Streets was the B' nai Israel and of Moorish design and that to strangely enough had a familiar feel, but totally different then the Lloyd Street one. I was glad to get back and it was just in time for the lecture on the Deli, which I enjoyed, but it had more an academic feel to it, then an entertaining one.
It was during this, I did notice a Jewish woman who seemingly orchestrated things, but I spent more time trying to figure out why she caught my eye, then looking at her; yet while paying the most attention to the lecture at hand. They had a few donated items to sample and then I checked out the museums, "Chosen Food," exhibit.
I felt it was nice as they had a computer operated display questioning you about which foods were Jewish; a lot of pots of pans from ethnic origins such as a Samovar from Russia and Tagine which originated from North Africa. There was a mock up of a kosher kitchen, but decided to keep my mouth shut about them not having a second refrigerator.
They covered holidays, weddings, delicatessens and mentioned the ethics of eating; even showing a special word, " Safe Treyfe," when eating Chinese food with little bits of pork in it; though otherwise observing Kosher, "What I can't see won't hurt me." Then it was the walk back to pick up the bus and home!
I fell in love with The Jewish Museum of Maryland, and did have plans to go back but sometime a year later. The whole place had the exact same feel to me as the Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg, Maryland, but that was a personal mystery to ponder at a later date.
Suddenly in October, I got a heads up from something Jewish that I wanted to tackle years before and it was discovered on the 98ROCK Morning Show of all places, as they had a woman from the museum and a lady from New York talking about the museum's up and coming GefiltaFest. I was all ears and listened.
The woman from the museum really cracked me up as no doubt the 98ROCK Morning Show was having a field day and the woman was actually trying to explain what Gefilte fish was, as well the lady from New York. Their struggle kept me laughing as the standard Jewish description was, "It's a fishy meatball."
Other things about the Jewish Woman from the museum captured my attention as she described other features at the museum and talked about a War of 1812 soldier named Mendis Cohen, who she referred to as a crush.
Later in the program I felt they were trying to send out feelers to set her and Josh Spiegel up for a date and asked her if she was single and she refused to answer the question. Next she was asked to nod her head and she refused to even to that because there were cameras in the studio.
This sort of shocked me, and I could only think, Well she is either in a relationship her parents and the Jewish community wouldn't approve of; or she decided to save herself and is totally disgusted of trying to explain it to people without getting a lot of bullshit over, it and I didn't blame her.
I was hassled for years about not having relationships and suffered with relentless accusations of being gay and nonstop advice about getting a relationship by going to bars, picking up drunk women and getting laid. Then when I said it was unacceptable, "What are you gay or something?" or comments that I masturbate.
I finally settled for, "Hey look, I got it taken care of and it's none of you business anyway." Not that I didn't have those thoughts or desire for women, but also I didn't like the thought I would have the next morning of, Oh God, what do I do with her now? I couldn't help but wonder if this was the Jewish woman I looked at in the museum.
My return to the Jewish Museum would be a lot earlier then I originally planned. I was there as a Gefilte spy because I wanted a better understanding of what gefilte actually is, possibly some recipes other then, "Buy the jar..." and to see if anyone can tell me how I want to make it; by putting it back into the fish.
I made it to the GefiltaFest and it turned out to be a free event so I didn't have to pay, and I couldn't help but ask about the 98ROCK Morning Show and the reply was, "Well [the Jewish Woman] had an adventure. The name of the woman matched the person I was looking at and I couldn't help but comment to her about the show. She was friendly and basically indicated it was something else, an adventure as well her and I told her she did fine.
Being early again, I took the tour of the, "Chosen Food," exhibit which was lead by the museum's executive director, Marvin Pinkert. I quite enjoyed it and complimented him at the end and he was appreciative. I mentioned my quest for Indian food and working with the Hindus and learning to cook Halal. I did mention the Palestinian family and he seemed to get edgy and found a reason to walk off.
Liz from Gefilteria in New York was up talking about Gefilte fish and I found it interesting and informative. There was a comment, I believe that mentioned the Gefilte throw down was actually a physical fight and she put it out there, "I'm from New York and if you want to fight, I'll fight!" I loved the quick and witty response she had and think she scared everyone else.
What I liked the most was Liz explaining her operation and how she become certified kosher by the Va'ad of Queens and how she used a rented kitchen as opposed to owning one. I was most impressed and the lecture alone was a wonderful reason to come. I did enjoy the samples she had on the spot as well.
The, "Throw Down!" was about to begin, so they had us go outside and line up to collect our ticket. Needless to say this generated a lot of unexpected wisecracks and they assured us this was so we could vote for the best Gefilte Fish. The throw down was held in the parking lot with the contestants lined up behind tables next to the museum's building.
I had to laugh as another staff member complained that his idea of a, "Smack Down," was dubbed too aggressive. I said it was actually more perfect because Liz is from New York and will scrap with anybody.
Liz from Gefilteria was in the center, while to her right was Sue, a staff member and representing the, "Housewife." To Liz's left was, Dave, a chef from Wit and Wisdom and he was chosen because he really didn't know what gefilte fish was, but decided to give it a try. To me this was going to be interesting because he had fire to use!
The Masters of Ceremony was Aaron Hankin from WYPR radio who was also the event's sponsor and he did a wonderful job of keeping the program going and interesting. He also didn't escape some reference to being Scott the Producer in disguise. I was impressed with the crowd as they had about ninety people.
Sue started with her housewife method and really, it was about the sauce she put together as she purchased her Gefilte Fish premade and in a roll, the sauce was a mixture of onion, tomato and celery and she did a fine job of illustrating the housewife's plight when it comes to cooking.
My favorite was Liz from Gefilteria as she was actually demonstrating how to make it from scratch and needless to say, I had to always have one eye and ear on what she was doing, as I decided to take photographs as I always seemed inclined to do. Dave had his own take too, as he made his Gefilte Fish as a precooked sausage, but his dilemma was, he battered them up like corndogs and deep fried them in oil. It was no easy feat because the wind was knocking the temperature all over the place, so he definitely demonstrated his skill.
Liz put her Gefilte Fish in a loaf pan and bakes it, but when asked if she was going to use what she made, she said she wouldn't because of the unsanitary conditions. Dave and I had a lot of fun with that, as we both camped and in reality, the outdoors wasn't unsanitary at all provided you still did the basics on food preparation. No one even got sick if you dropped food on the ground and cooked it, but that depended just how hungry you were.
It was time for sampling and poor Dave had to be left alone as he struggled with cooking the samples everyone wanted, and Sue had a couple of problems, first she made her Gefilte balls to big and didn't have enough to go around, second quite a lot of Jewish people were put off by her sauce as the didn't consider it Jewish and even the attempts of other Jewish people to explain there is a Jewish population in Spain didn't help change their minds.
Liz was besieged by people asking advice about making Gefilte, and I could only admire her and nicked named her, "Scrappy Doo," from the Scooby Doo show. This was the first time I wished my father was alive because he didn't usually have too much an opinion on women, but would classify her as, "There's a woman you want to pick a fight with just to see how bad she will kick your ass, and it'll keep you real." I felt she was fantastic and really loved the fact she didn't have hesitations to answer questions.
It was time for judging, and it was a struggle with me between Liz and Dave. Sue sort of slipped out of contention as their just weren't enough samples to give out. I was a bit upset as had I known, I could have helped her to work it out better as I have been in those situations with cooking for parties at home and twice as many people show up as planned for.
I loved Liz's Gefilte Fish and it was by far the best traditional Gefilte I ever had, and wonderfully presented as well. I only would have liked to see about double the portion on the cracker as I felt it would have added the right proportion for flavor to the cracker.
It was a hard decision, but I gave my vote to Dave, as he had used Cobia fish which gave it a wonderful flavor, I liked the sweetness of his corn dog batter, as opposed of it being in the fish, as well this was his first attempt at making Gefilta. Dave won the contest, but only by three votes and while deserved in my mind, I was glad it was that close with Liz as she deserved great consideration as well, and most likely if Dave wasn't there, she'd a gotten my vote as well.
But nobody could help me with the project I always wanted to do, put the Gefilta back into the fish, and that idea did get a lot of attention, and unlike other times, a bit of respect instead of ridicule. I also paid attention to the Jewish Woman and just really felt she had a wonderful spirit about her. I just had to try and asked if I could get a photograph of us and with her agreeing, it not only surprised me, it made my day.
To top it all off, Dave had about two pounds of Gefilte left and gave it to me, I was going to have a lot of fun with it! I left the museum, but not before saying goodbye to everybody and telling the front desk what a special place I thought the museum was. But when I compared it to Emmitsburg and mentioned what happened to me, the elderly lady got upset and tried to ignore me. The younger one seemed interested, but I thought out of respect for the other lady, appeared not to pay attention.
I got home, did up the photographs and posted them. To me it was a coo to get the photograph with the Jewish Woman and was amazed to find her leaning in towards me, and I couldn't resist adding to the caption, "I can't believe, [she] said yes to me! Well posing for the photograph that is... I credited her and the staff, but I couldn't resist adding, "It looks like Popeye and Olive Oyl to me."
I also caught wind of their program which was going to be happening the next Thursday, "Nothing Beets Borsh(t)" I took off that week to complete this book, and decided one evening won't hurt me. I was not a fan of Borsch, as the jarred soup left me unimpressed to say the least, so I sort of had the mystery, Is Borsch made by a Russian Jew any better? I was looking anyway for a vegetable concoction to add to my diet.
With my donated Gefilte, it was off to work and already had toothpicks in the sausage sized pieces. At first one person who always tried what I made took one look and refused, as he compared it to Sushi, but after an explanation, he tried it and loved it! Other people were more game and loved it as well and to a large extent, knocked the humor right out of the Gefilte!
I started thinking as the director of the Jewish Museum wanted photographs of my Gefilte if I made it in the fish's skin, and knowing they have photographers at events; I decided to see if I could bring mine to the museum for their photographers to shoot, and to donate it to the table if they so desired.
Now I wondered just how much of the vacation would have to be used for this, and regardless had to purchase my fish poaching pan, so I also had to pay the big bucks to have it shipped second day. A poaching pan is long and thin, with an insert to keep the fish off the bottom. I thought I ordered the 24inch long model, but what was called express shipping had the same 1 week guarantee as standard service, with only the hope it would arrive sooner.
In all honesty, I wasn't sure the museum was going to opt for this, which was fine; and while I put a call into them about this, another problem cropped up; Hurricane Sandy hit and she was intense and long to sit though. This closed the Museum down for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday so the message would be received late.
There was no way, I could do Kosher completely, but I wanted the maximum number of Jewish people to try it, so I decided to purchase dedicated equipment for making Gefilta Wednesday. I figured at the Towson Market place, it was best to use Walmart and try to stay out of the Bed, Bath and Beyond if at all possible.
I was happy to get all the equipment I could need and it only stressed the budget, it didn't break it. I put the call into the director and he requested that I talk to the Jewish Woman, and got a messaged call back from her, but the Museum had already closed.
It was now Thursday and the day of the Borsch event, and before I could call her, had to go to Lexington Market to get the fish I was planning to use as Faidley's which was the only fish market that provided fresh, whole fish that I trusted. They also had the best chances of having the rockfish that I wanted for the skin.
As usual, anything Baltimore city wasn't going to be pleasant. I knew I would get a bus because it was rush hour and they dare don't screw with that and I was at Faidley's before it opened, but their ice making machine was broken so I was told they would open late.
I finally got a 22 inch rockfish and two trout about a foot long each ,and had them simply scale and gut them. Though they were on ice, time was of the essence so I went immediately to the bus stop, but the schedule had already slowed. To make it worse, one other white guy beside me decided to flip a person going into the bus the bird and made a scene.
When the bus, which was the one I wanted, got the stop; he kept driving on even though I was waving with bus pass in hand. It would be another hour before the 19, and the one I got on took its turn on Northern Parkway, so I got off there and decided to show off my fish at work. It's one of those deals, those that didn't like fish ran away, while my fish got gawked at, with those who loved them. I was happy everyone felt I had a fine catch, but time was running out.
I finally met on the phone with the Jewish Woman and she explained the photographers won't be there and it wasn't an event that they would put my fish out. To be honest, I felt it was for the best ... I was so exhausted I needed to crash and even if I had to try to make the fish, I might miss the Borsch event anyway. I had the sense of satisfaction of doing my best and the damn fish poaching pan hadn't made it to my house anyway.
I made it to the event and was immediately surprised that hardly any people were there. One guy came in, basically to scope things out in my mind, and tell everybody who he is. At this event the big deal was their open free bar (with donation bucket) because the Jewish Woman made up her Manischewitz "sangria."
They had a male worker tending the bar and we chatted and postulated about her concoction, and we opted for a beer as a Blue Moon fit in well with my plans to relax. The guy who came in basically indicated that he was too important to stay so he had to leave, which I don't think bothered anyone.
It now seemed to me it was going to be a lecture for one, namely me, but I was happy to see a couple more people show up, a woman and a man who came in separately and maybe a couple of others as well. I lamented with the work that goes into these things there weren't more people attending.
The lady who did the demonstration was Olga Berman who has a food blog site called, "mangotomato.com." I found the whole thing very interesting as you don't do what most do and throw all the vegetables in a pot and boil it. She used two pots and boiled some of the vegetables and saute'ed others in a frying pan. Then at the right times she combined them into two soup pots, which was a bit of a juggle of her.
She got to provide some information about her food site, then asked what everyone likes to cook and I replied Cajun and got a fee, "oohs," and then mentioned that I learned to cook Indian including Halal and got a few, "Aahs." Another lady mentioned she is strictly vegetarian as for a school field trip, they went to a Kosher butcher and she couldn't stand to eat meat after that. The Jewish Woman then mentioned that she liked to bake and her hands shot up in the air and opened and closed as she said, "I like kneading, it works out the frustrations and is therapeutic."
I laughed like hell at this, but suddenly stopped when I got the thought, Oh shit, I'd have to buy her a fucking bakery! With the Borsch completed, it was time to sample and I enjoyed photographing the crowd before I tried it myself, and discovering that making it her way, really does make it taste nice.
There was a little social time and I think guilt had me try a sample of the Manischewitz sangria, as the Jewish Woman made it, but mot being a Manischewitz fan, the fruit in it only made it more off putting. I could help but feel, Well is this is her drink of choice and she goes wild with it, you're going to need a diabetes test kit and insulin.
I enjoyed chatting with the Jewish Woman and we talked Gefilte and I told her there are no bad feelings and most likely by the time I would have finished it, would be exhausted and missed the event anyway. With all the work I had put in, I was exhausted anyway, but loved chatting with her as I loved the museum and also had wonderful feelings about her.
When I left, I just couldn't resist and told her, "[Woman,] I really dig you." I was totally shocked to see her smile and blush, but that warmed my heart up so much, on the bus trip home, I couldn't help but think about things. To me she was indeed special and I was glad to run across her as her qualities refreshed my view about women in my life.
The next day, it was Gefilta time, but I felt it best to put it off until evening, as the fish was still good and I wanted to work on this book. I started my Gefilte Adventure around 6:00pm. My main kitchen was trashed, but I have an apartment sized kitchen upstairs, and with the ex taking the furniture there were now two rows of shelves to act as tables; though with only enough room for a caver to enjoy like me to enjoy; it made for a wonderful prep and process kitchen.
I covered the shelves with tin foil and started to flesh and debone the fish, Well, there's nothing Kosher about ripping out a fish from its skin. Luckily I know skinning and fleshing. I had to get my fingers behind the spine and breaking all the little bones going to the fins. I was amazed just how easy it was. I took what meat I could get and put it in the flesh pile, while the bones went into the stock pot.
The trout was much easier and although it was the first time I filleted a fish, it worked out wonderfully, with the rest going into the stock pot. I used a recipe from the Dan Hotel in Israel and made the stock of fish remains, with onion, carrot and in my case, a small turnip and parsley. I ground the fish and added ground hardboiled egg, sugar, salt and white pepper; mixed it up with the raw egg and put it into the fish. Since the poaching pan finally arrived, I married the fish with the broth and cooked it up.
I couldn't wait to have the completed and cooked fish out of the over for its final photographic opportunity, but I discovered I had fleshed it to close and the skin was dissolved and reticulated. I tasted it and was immediately put off as it tasted like buttered and caramel popcorn, but since this is a chilled dish I had to wait anyway.
In the morning, it tasted great! I was happy that some of the sweetness had gone away and not being a fish skin person, actually felt it being left on gave it a great taste; but what to do with four pounds of Gefilte Fish? I decided to package some up for work and let everyone try mine.
The same people that tried Dave's from the GefilteFest, absolutely loved it and had seconds and the few that said they didn't like it fell into my plans. With them I pouted and said, "But it's made with rockfish... They worked through their dilemma and tried it, and thought it was pretty good themselves.
My biggest coup was, there was a guy there that is a Born Again Christian who prides himself on eating Biblically. Not necessarily a fish loving person, but with the Kosher implication, had to try it and he said it was good as well. People also had their fun with me and accused me of turning Jew, and other's asked why I would have anything to do with Jewish anything, "You're Christian."
I saw myself as an elderly Jewish woman from New York who felt she had nothing to lose, and imitating her voice I said, "Let me let you in on to a little secret, Jesus isn't Christian, he Jewish! He never condemned the religion." Then in my own voice, I added, "Besides is just plain fun!"
I knew it was good, but now it was time for the acid test, so I packed up a Gefilte presentation for the Baltimore Poetry Discussion Group meeting and knowing there were a few Jewish people there, felt it was going to be interesting.
I came early and set it out and with a few members there, was asked what I made and when I mentioned Gefilte Fish. One of the livelier one's of the bunch jumped back and yelled, "What! A gentile making a national Jewish dish, come on!" To him it was not only unbelievable; he made sure to get his ribbings in as well.
I went for the double barreled shotgun, "I also made it in the skin."
The only thing that I can quote here is stunned silence. "And I made it with rockfish and trout and used a recipe from the Dan Hotel."
Another Jewish person said, "The Dan Hotel? In Israel?" He was totally shocked and I explained how I purchased the Jewish and Israeli Cookbooks, as well explained their importance to me.
Then it was time to try and I put out the horseradish, rye points and the crackers. "You bought Tam-Tams, you're not going to tell me you drove all the way across town to get these?"
"I don't drive, I walk!" After the shock value wore off; I added, "No, I just walked to the Giant just up the road from me and purchased them there. They have a small kosher section I occasionally pick things up from."
I didn't realize that everybody at that poetry discussion was going to be Jewish that day, but they all seemed to love the Gefilte Fish and I was truly humbled at the compliments. I mentioned my frustration at having to figure out how to get the fish out of its skin, and I also gave them the low down on The Jewish Museum of Maryland's, GefilteFest.
The same boisterous person said, "Jewish Museum! Now that you have the first part of you conversion to Judaism down, the food! Maybe we can get you to do the final part of the conversion and get circumcised!"
With that comment being so close to mention of the Jewish Museum, I had the horrible vision of that suggestion being lodged with the museum as a letter and in no way did I want my name being mentioned as the sacrificial lamb and going across the Jewish Woman's desk.
It was with great joy that I was able to reply, "I hate to tell you, it's in the Bible too and my parents already made the decision on that one." Everyone got a chuckle out of it and we went into our poetry discussion. At the end I was shocked, as the person who mentioned the Dan Hotel in Israel, said he would love me to make him one.
"Wow! That's four hours work and $60.00 in fish!"
"I'll pay it, it's worth it!" That got everyone's attention.
There was another person there who was a definite introvert, and had a very abstract-defensive type of humor; but when he decided to speak, he was like an absolute genius. When he was asked, he laughed and said, "I survived!" as he shot out the door. I did receive an unexpected Facebook apology as the person never could eat Gefilte Fish.
I started to think about things, and since the Jewish Museum was the preverbal boot up my ass, I felt that they too deserved to be afforded the opportunity to try my Gefilte fish, so I made a care package and just about gave them the remaining fish, along with horseradish, home cultured sour cream, tam-tams and rye points.
I took the bus and made it there and the ladies at the front desk, another elderly woman as well a staff member, who seemed surprised and promised to put it away for the museum staff to try. I figured I would take in the other exhibit, "The Voices of Lombard Street."
I was intently interested as my own maternal grandmother came from near the area at the turn of the century and I enjoyed the depiction of the early life which appeared to be exactly described as my Grandma told it to me. The only one inaccuracy in my opinion and experiences was their latrine, as I haven't saw one yet without a crack board to attempt to sit on without getting pinched; and more of a chess game if it is a two-seater. I also made fun of the latrine, because it was a varnished, "Cadillac," model. While nice to look at, it was far from practical and I had my ass frozen to enough seats made from plain wood during subzero weather.
The exhibit continued with the working conditions in the struggling conditions, as well the store front stores, delis and butchers; then moved on to the time the whole area transitioned and some events, like the riots which prompted the Jewish people move away from the area.
I showed the staff, my favorite part of the exhibit which was had a mock up of a butcher shop with chickens in it and told the story of my grandmother's pet duck, and mentioned the poem I adapted, "My pet goose."
I know I talked to the Jewish Woman, and while I don't remember the conversations it was warm, friendly and I loved the smile that I seemed to be able to generate. It made me wonder if she had feelings for me, as I now had increasing ones for her, but I was too afraid to say anything.
I said goodbye the women at the desk and to me, the museum still had the same exact feeling as the Shrine at Emmitsburg. I mentioned that perceived oddity to them, but had to tell them what happened to me there, and the elderly woman seemed to jump and then immediately start doing her crossword puzzle.
The other staff member at the desk seem to do the same, but I felt she had taken the lead from the elderly woman, but might have been interested and continued to explain hoping to at least conclude the story. I was happy and this time the bus ride home was consumed with thoughts about the Jewish Woman.
What I liked most about the Jewish Woman was simply her qualities and the fact she acted like a lady, which helped to offset what I saw on the streets from where I lived. I loved watching her work her magic at the events and she always seemed a pleasing, enjoyable person; and what a joy that someone still had the ability to create feelings in me.
With the Gefilte Fish out of the way, I started thinking of the experience and started to realize the adventure alone had just about all the elements of anything I had written in this book, plus with the feelings the Jewish Woman had generated I felt had the cords of a crown knot to it, as well a fairly positive ending, where I could at least use those feelings I had, for a positive conclusion and message.
It had culture, a religion I had not yet incorporated into my work, as well interesting people and food stories. Especially since I had wanted to make Gefilte for such a long time, finished the food adventure aspect off perfectly. It also had a real nice 98ROCK tie in, and the qualities of the Jewish Woman I could laud a bit, as I enjoyed the lady like persona she had.
It is one of those deals; I had to query myself on my feelings and whether or not there was at least a potential relationship and future. The more I thought about the Jewish Woman; the more I felt indeed, the potential was there, but as it translated to the book, I would be willing for the relationship which added a hope aspect to the conclusion of my life.
It was so nice to be able to make someone smile, blush and appear to be touched by even simple compliments, but this also had its element of frustration as I what I loved best was the Jewish Woman simply working her magic at work for people.
Given that I really loved the museum, this was more a mental indulgence as I had no desire to let the bad karma of what desire and dating caused to enter in and get me in trouble with the woman or the museum. I thanked God for the story I was going to use and prayed that the museum would keep up its activities and the Jewish Woman would very simply remain friendly and seemingly caring towards me.
To me, she was beautiful and what I loved was that her grace shown though, though she kept herself in a Plain Jane sort of way. To me the beauty still shined though and I was happy about finding a person who won't be lost in the mirror at all times, to the exclusion of all else including common sense.
I was not only hoping my interaction with the Jewish Woman was not only a positive for me at the museum, but that it could lead to other meetings outside of the museum, yet that had trepidations for me. I loved the idea of getting together and enjoying life as we get to know the other more personally; but I was fearful of declaring dating.
That was something that I just couldn't do, as like doing the Gefilte Fish project, I would have to make personal sacrifices just to go out on occasion. Before my marriage, dating had also proved to myself that I had bought a woman, and she expected far more in marriage then with dating; unrealistically so.
I also worked that split-shift, and trying to devote such time would totally wreck me and if it affected the bread and butter to pay the bills. I feared, I would have no choice then to end a dating relationship; not to mention I wouldn't be getting any sleep and further running myself ragged. In addition to work, I also loved writing and again, fearful that to go out with her, I would have to hang up that aspect of my life which provided so much joy for me and totally devote that time to her.
With blocking out the time to work or think about this book, I had to totally let the house go and hated the feeling of her reaction to seeing the house in the condition I had let it get into; fearing that I kidnapped both Howard Hughes and John Belushi.
I remember the reaction of my photography teacher from high school when the house was in much better order and haven't communicated with him since. I doubt with a prospective woman, "At least I don't pee in the bottles yet," wouldn't really work. My desire was that if there is any relationship outside of the museum, it would go very slow and we simply enjoy the time we do find for the other.
Of course with thoughts of love it is an endless logic argument of, "What, If, And, Or, Else." I didn't know the exact type of Judaism she practiced, so I figured she would be fairly conservative and perhaps there would be expected time with her family, and I didn't see any family member impressed with me for a whole variety of reasons.
First is the obvious age difference. I thought, Well you could take them to your favorite cave; three hundred feet up a mountain, a twenty foot rappel down a cliff face to the ledge, the first thirty minute crawl through clay dust under an ancient sea. That might impress the museum curiosity of [the Jewish Woman] but... With the chimneying, twisting, turning, climbing, crawling, horrid ear scraping tight spots, and jumping for about ten hours. I doubt they would be happy to see you getting up the next morning to get them moving again, no matter how much pain is in your system.
Could take them to work, so they can see what you do as they watch ...Offloading pallets of paper, humping 150 pound cartons, reloading the skids, cutting; mixing inks and washing up presses, while everyone else watches, except for Mr. Ed who is the only person who offers to help me at age 75. Well, I bet they would totally disdain for you for such labor. Could take the men out in a snow storm and prove I was the only person not to drop.
The difference in religions didn't bother me in the least, but I doubt they wouldn't share my attitude in that either. As far as I was concerned, I had no interest in taking away what made the Jewish Woman great in my mind, or forcing any belief I had on her. Personally I could accept Judaism as well as practice it, as it wasn't too far off the mark and I had some knowledge of them as well.
Even if I practiced Judaism, I still couldn't consider myself a Jewish person because I believed very much in Christ and all that I would expect is to be respected in my belief. Then again, how do you explain your belief isn't one of worship or practice, but a face to face one ... I, fucked up? God, what happened even put you at odds with your own churches, Oy vey!
To me the Jewish woman was also very attractive, but I loved the Plain Jane about her the most, as it was the qualities and the way she was I found most appealing. She was also a very short and petite person, and so much so, I did check out her Facebook page and the only information available was she attended a college which put my mind to rest about her age. I never sought out to Facebook friend her because I usually don't try to friend women and the few times I did, not only had to. "unfriend," them, but block them as well.
With the feelings she garnered from me, there was a definite place in my arms and I could see having her melt in my arms for a hug, and I had that desire of a kiss, as well a place in my lap for her to rest or a body to cuddle. I didn't have much thought towards sex, as I know my mistake and felt that perhaps, she was saving herself. If there was to be making love, I just prayed to God that it would complement the relationship and not complicate it.
No matter what, I felt family would be involved and no doubt if a relationship was forming with the Jewish Woman, the family would expect me to make a good argument on how I would support her and a family; this is where I became over-emotional and angry at myself.
There is a fairly deregulatory word, JAP, for Jewish American Princess. Well in my opinion she deserved to be treated like a princess and perhaps with her qualities, it wouldn't go to her head. The best I could do was The Fiddler on the Roof. That was when I got mad and threw something; because how can I make an argument about supporting someone to their parents when I couldn't make it to myself.
"Well, I went for love and lost everything trying to secure it?" Good intentions or doing the right thing doesn't matter to most people who would only view me as a fool!
While I didn't hold out high hopes for such a love to develop from the Jewish Woman's side, if it did there would only be one reason, we had a true love for the other and with that, any hurdle or deficiency would be dealt with and accepted. I remained very happy because of the positive relationship that seemed to exist at the museum, and it I figure in the vast future it would play itself out as an ideal or ordeal for me.
I felt the ideals she seemed to have as well their effect upon me deserved to be preserved in an attributed poem regarding love. On Thursday, I both wrote and penned the poem, "The Light of Love." A poem that both lay tribute to the Jewish Woman's qualities and the effect it was having upon me, as I compared my discovery to the light that held the miracle of the endless oil which is represented by the Menorah.
At the time, I felt it was the least I could do to celebrate such qualities and feelings. I loved the reviews the poem received as I posted it online, but really didn't have the thought of giving it to the Jewish Woman because of the effect I felt my last attributed love poem foisted upon me, "Robin's Poem."
With the inclusion of my Gefilta adventure in this book, I was hoping not to ruffle any feathers as it meant a return visit to the museum once again to take the Synagogue tour and view the exhibits to take notes. I was particularly interested in listing the rescued Toras. The ulterior motive was to debunk my feelings that The Jewish Museum of Maryland had the exact same feel as The National Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, in Emmitsburg.
I got off the bus at Baltimore's Inner Harbor and made the walk down Lombard Street in the direction of the museum and I noticed this guy did a double take and when he looked at me a second time, he appeared just to about shit himself. I recognized him as one of the armed robbers from the year before.
I made sure to give him the same exact smile that I did after they were walking away from their robbery, then coyly disappeared to unnerve the guy. He wasn't the person that stabbed me, but the one who was walking satellite around me.
I was hoping if they were worried about suddenly being confronted by me, they would be looking over their shoulder too much to rob anyone else. One thing was for sure, going to the museum definitely presented its element of danger for me, and I had to be ever vigilant to who was around me or even hiding in the shadows.
I stated at the museum, I was there due to, "Unintended consequences," as the Gefilte Adventure would be a wonderful way to finish the biography I was working on and mentioned it had most of the elements of the book. They seemed a bit shocked, but also touched they would be included in my book.
I paid my eight bucks and waited for the tour which would be starting soon. I came as early as I could because I wanted to get in, get out and get writing towards completion of this book. I had no intention of bothering the Jewish Woman, since I was skittish about the unexpected visit, but she popped out of the hall which had a partition dividing it so I said, "Hi!" and she waved back with a smile.
This time it was set up for a social in relation to the B'nai Israel Synagogue. The director was also there and I talked with him about being a volunteer at The National Aquarium in Baltimore and the fun I had, as well mention the Taylors. He immediately stated, "Well, everything's so sensitive these days." The statement struck me as a little queer, but I lauded the Taylors as co directors, but when I mentioned my dealings with Jeff Jerome of the Poe House, he once again walked off before I could finish.
I also enjoyed another staff member walking up to me and introducing herself. I saw the Jewish Woman with a 15 month old, little girl and I couldn't help but wonder if they were related, as I enjoyed the interaction of the two. I wondered if she picked up on my thought line as she stated, "This is the Rabbi's daughter," then she pointed out his wife.
The Jewish Woman invited me to enjoy the food they had laid out, which made me feel honored, but I declined as the tour was about to start. I did enjoy chatting with her and explaining my return. I liked the Rabbi who showed a certain grace with his appearance with the, "Nothing Beets Borsch," demonstration.
This time I did chance talking with him and asked for a little commentary on people skittishness around the museum and he seemed a bit perplexed to explain things as well. I mainly wanted to gain information on whether I was breaking some taboo or custom. Then I when I described the conversation where the director walked off for the first time at the Chosen Foods during the GefilteFest, he too walked off as well.
The Synagogue tour started, and I was joined by two members of the media, from an out of state Jewish publication; I thought this was perfect and as we walked the street, a couple other people also joined the tour.
Since the exact same person was leading the tour, I was happy just how much of it was as I remembered. But then we went from the ark, to the basement and I brought up the rescued Torahs. The guide stated that he was told to omit them because the museum felt it made the tour too long.
I asked if he would cover them anyway as it was the reason I retook the tour and added, "I'll let them know I made you include them so I can take the blame; that's why I am retaking the tour." The other media there really appreciated this as well.
Unlike I thought at my debunking, the second tour of the Synagogues only cemented the feelings I had with comparing them to The Shrine of Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emittsburg, Maryland. The Lloyd Street Synagogue reminded me exactly of the Old Chapel, while the Matzo oven and mitzvah area reminded me of the other buildings at The National Shrine.
Though much less elaborate, the B'Nai Israel Synagogue had the exact same feel as the basilica as well the museum portion of the place seemingly matched that of The National Shrine's as well, though it was laid out muh differently. This, "feel," had me absolutely astounded as it never happened to me before.
The Jewish Woman was still there going between the welcome desk and the spread for the synagogue. She asked me if I was coming to, "The Sabbath Tables," and I replied, "No, I plan to come to, "A Taste of Hutzler's," but if you think it is important, I will attend the, 'Sabbath Tables,' one."
There was absolute silence and I wondered if it was because she didn't want me to come, she wanted me to arrive at my own decision or it was some sort of a test. I finished with, "I wasn't expecting to, but will rethink my decision as I do want to learn more about the Jewish faith." I felt it was at least a safe answer.
Then the Executive Director walked up to her within earshot and said something along the lines of, "I want you to add [someone or the other] to next year's GefiteFest as they have a wonderful recipe for Gefilte fish..." He then took her behind the patrician to continue talking so I couldn't understand them.
I was left wondering, Is this for my benefit, or a snub of some sort? I had to question the entire timing as I felt a note on her desk would have been a better way. It's like this, while I enjoyed making my in-the-fish Gefilte, and did offer it for a future event, if they didn't want me to participate, I would be fine with it.
Even though I purchased dedicated equipment; not being there would save me hundreds of dollars and a full day's work, plus a day at the event. I never worried about winning such a competition because if it is on the up and up, you never know how the crowd will vote;. If it isn't you won't win anyway. To me, it struck me as a pussy-like move on the part of the director, especially because of the way it seemed to go down.
Finally for my day it was off to the, "Chosen Food," and, "The Voices of Lombard Street," exhibits to take photographs, notes and work up an outline. Afterwards, I did gather some of the staff and took them in the Lombard Street exhibit to show them my favorite part, which was the mock up of the butcher shop and explained my grandmother lived around this area at the turn of the century and adopted a pet duck that became soup, as well the poem I created called, "My Pet Goose."
With all my work done, I was hankering to leave and get back home to once again write on this book. I did bring the copy of the attributed poem that I wrote for her, and stated to think about things, which really made me wrestle with myself on whether or not to give it to her. For whatever reason, I started thinking about Jim Morrison and felt he would expect a poem such as this to be delivered to the person that inspired the work.
I once again got her attention, and explained that she touched me very much and with being a poetic writer, felt she was due the honor of an attributed poem. I also explained my belief that the last one I wrote was handled very punitively and I almost lost my house over this because what I felt it did to my salary, so was a bit scared.
I then handed it to her, and I think her immediate reaction was of both shock and disbelief and then tears when she started reading it. I explained that it is attributed, but not by name, because how she appeared to be on the radio station. I let her know I would love to put her name to this, but it would be best if she gives me the permission.
At that point, I started to walk out, but was also consumed with the emotions this generated and couldn't help but wonder if the Jewish Woman is a blessing to God, or what I called, "The Muslim Woman's Curse," which was a actual prayer that God finds someone for me and lets me know everything's alright to be with her, as well letting her know the same about me.
With that so strongly on my mind, I walked up to the woman at the desk who I think pretty much knew I had feelings for the Jewish Woman; I couldn't help but to tell that story. I noticed the Jewish Woman looking and sort of cocking her head and shining an eye at me, I thought, God Mike; you even love her evil eye! I wondered if she believed me or simply thought I was flirting with anything that moved.
I left feeling elated and happy that I found such a wonderful place to visit, and it wasn't until I was back on the bus that I made the decision to go to, "Sabbath Tables," for a variety of reasons. With always working till I dropped, I never observed the Sabbath and would enjoy doing so; I also did want to know more about how Jewish people celebrate the Sabbath. I figured with perhaps with being there, it would make the Jewish Woman more comfortable with the idea of spending time together if that was going to be in the cards.
I was so happy to find a place I really enjoyed visiting in Baltimore, I expressed my thankfulness to God, and promised to do my best with maintaining the good relations I felt were there; and while fearful as this is the point where all hell seems to break loose, it wouldn't be happening at the museum.
I had long wanted to devote a portion of my biweekly pay check to purchasing museums memberships as Baltimore has that many; I made the decision to start with getting one for The Jewish Museum of Maryland.
(Continued next chapter)
My only prayer in concluding this book was to simply be given a way to make my final points and little did I know regrettably, the perfect adventure would come my way to allow me to restate why I started this book in the first place.
There was an article in both the City Paper and also the Baltimore Sun about an exhibit at The Jewish Museum of Maryland titled, "Chosen Food." While the exhibit opened in late October of 2011, I had feared that I missed it so I checked on line and found the Jewish Museum had another carrot to offer me, "The Jewish Deli," a lecture offered by Ted Merwin in April of 2012 and the exhibit was still there.
There was no excuse for me now, so I immediately went and attended the lecture. With the buses the way they were, I chose to take an earlier one and had time to kill at the Jewish Museum, so I took their tour called, "The Synagogue Speaks."
There was a very nice man to lead us and it started off in the museum and then led out to the Llyod Street Synagogue, which was built in 1830 and of Greek design with the columns. This Synagogue is the third oldest in the country. Inside they had wood divisions with benches and a bimah was in the center, where they read from Torah.
In the area of the back wall they had the Ark that held the Torahs, which had a house shaped appearance and over it the words, "Know before whom you stand," in Hebrew. The Lloyd Street Synagogue had a few transformations it was owned by the Baltimore Hebrew Congregation, then it went into Catholic hands as St. John the Baptist Lithuanian. The synagogue once again became a Jewish house of worship under Shomrei Mishmeres Ha-Kodesh, until 1960 when it became part of the Heritage Museum.
What amazed me was, the Ark held rescued Torahs from the Holocaust; including one rescued from a spa in Bavaria as they had to go out of business because it became illegal for Jews to own businesses. Also one that was looted by the Nazis out of Czechoslovakia, as well one rescued just before Kristallnacht, as a Jewish person was tipped off that something bad was going to happen by a Christian friend.
While I was only in a Synagogue when my sister was married, this one had a completely familiar feel I couldn't put my finger on. The tour continued downstairs with showing us the Matzo oven, which for whatever reason seemed a special place to me and familiar as well. The main part of the basement was a museum of the Synagogue but in the back were the Mitzvah, a cleansing bath for Jewish people.
The next Synagogue we went to was on Llyod and Lombard Streets was the B' nai Israel and of Moorish design and that to strangely enough had a familiar feel, but totally different then the Lloyd Street one. I was glad to get back and it was just in time for the lecture on the Deli, which I enjoyed, but it had more an academic feel to it, then an entertaining one.
It was during this, I did notice a Jewish woman who seemingly orchestrated things, but I spent more time trying to figure out why she caught my eye, then looking at her; yet while paying the most attention to the lecture at hand. They had a few donated items to sample and then I checked out the museums, "Chosen Food," exhibit.
I felt it was nice as they had a computer operated display questioning you about which foods were Jewish; a lot of pots of pans from ethnic origins such as a Samovar from Russia and Tagine which originated from North Africa. There was a mock up of a kosher kitchen, but decided to keep my mouth shut about them not having a second refrigerator.
They covered holidays, weddings, delicatessens and mentioned the ethics of eating; even showing a special word, " Safe Treyfe," when eating Chinese food with little bits of pork in it; though otherwise observing Kosher, "What I can't see won't hurt me." Then it was the walk back to pick up the bus and home!
I fell in love with The Jewish Museum of Maryland, and did have plans to go back but sometime a year later. The whole place had the exact same feel to me as the Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg, Maryland, but that was a personal mystery to ponder at a later date.
Suddenly in October, I got a heads up from something Jewish that I wanted to tackle years before and it was discovered on the 98ROCK Morning Show of all places, as they had a woman from the museum and a lady from New York talking about the museum's up and coming GefiltaFest. I was all ears and listened.
The woman from the museum really cracked me up as no doubt the 98ROCK Morning Show was having a field day and the woman was actually trying to explain what Gefilte fish was, as well the lady from New York. Their struggle kept me laughing as the standard Jewish description was, "It's a fishy meatball."
Other things about the Jewish Woman from the museum captured my attention as she described other features at the museum and talked about a War of 1812 soldier named Mendis Cohen, who she referred to as a crush.
Later in the program I felt they were trying to send out feelers to set her and Josh Spiegel up for a date and asked her if she was single and she refused to answer the question. Next she was asked to nod her head and she refused to even to that because there were cameras in the studio.
This sort of shocked me, and I could only think, Well she is either in a relationship her parents and the Jewish community wouldn't approve of; or she decided to save herself and is totally disgusted of trying to explain it to people without getting a lot of bullshit over, it and I didn't blame her.
I was hassled for years about not having relationships and suffered with relentless accusations of being gay and nonstop advice about getting a relationship by going to bars, picking up drunk women and getting laid. Then when I said it was unacceptable, "What are you gay or something?" or comments that I masturbate.
I finally settled for, "Hey look, I got it taken care of and it's none of you business anyway." Not that I didn't have those thoughts or desire for women, but also I didn't like the thought I would have the next morning of, Oh God, what do I do with her now? I couldn't help but wonder if this was the Jewish woman I looked at in the museum.
My return to the Jewish Museum would be a lot earlier then I originally planned. I was there as a Gefilte spy because I wanted a better understanding of what gefilte actually is, possibly some recipes other then, "Buy the jar..." and to see if anyone can tell me how I want to make it; by putting it back into the fish.
I made it to the GefiltaFest and it turned out to be a free event so I didn't have to pay, and I couldn't help but ask about the 98ROCK Morning Show and the reply was, "Well [the Jewish Woman] had an adventure. The name of the woman matched the person I was looking at and I couldn't help but comment to her about the show. She was friendly and basically indicated it was something else, an adventure as well her and I told her she did fine.
Being early again, I took the tour of the, "Chosen Food," exhibit which was lead by the museum's executive director, Marvin Pinkert. I quite enjoyed it and complimented him at the end and he was appreciative. I mentioned my quest for Indian food and working with the Hindus and learning to cook Halal. I did mention the Palestinian family and he seemed to get edgy and found a reason to walk off.
Liz from Gefilteria in New York was up talking about Gefilte fish and I found it interesting and informative. There was a comment, I believe that mentioned the Gefilte throw down was actually a physical fight and she put it out there, "I'm from New York and if you want to fight, I'll fight!" I loved the quick and witty response she had and think she scared everyone else.
What I liked the most was Liz explaining her operation and how she become certified kosher by the Va'ad of Queens and how she used a rented kitchen as opposed to owning one. I was most impressed and the lecture alone was a wonderful reason to come. I did enjoy the samples she had on the spot as well.
The, "Throw Down!" was about to begin, so they had us go outside and line up to collect our ticket. Needless to say this generated a lot of unexpected wisecracks and they assured us this was so we could vote for the best Gefilte Fish. The throw down was held in the parking lot with the contestants lined up behind tables next to the museum's building.
I had to laugh as another staff member complained that his idea of a, "Smack Down," was dubbed too aggressive. I said it was actually more perfect because Liz is from New York and will scrap with anybody.
Liz from Gefilteria was in the center, while to her right was Sue, a staff member and representing the, "Housewife." To Liz's left was, Dave, a chef from Wit and Wisdom and he was chosen because he really didn't know what gefilte fish was, but decided to give it a try. To me this was going to be interesting because he had fire to use!
The Masters of Ceremony was Aaron Hankin from WYPR radio who was also the event's sponsor and he did a wonderful job of keeping the program going and interesting. He also didn't escape some reference to being Scott the Producer in disguise. I was impressed with the crowd as they had about ninety people.
Sue started with her housewife method and really, it was about the sauce she put together as she purchased her Gefilte Fish premade and in a roll, the sauce was a mixture of onion, tomato and celery and she did a fine job of illustrating the housewife's plight when it comes to cooking.
My favorite was Liz from Gefilteria as she was actually demonstrating how to make it from scratch and needless to say, I had to always have one eye and ear on what she was doing, as I decided to take photographs as I always seemed inclined to do. Dave had his own take too, as he made his Gefilte Fish as a precooked sausage, but his dilemma was, he battered them up like corndogs and deep fried them in oil. It was no easy feat because the wind was knocking the temperature all over the place, so he definitely demonstrated his skill.
Liz put her Gefilte Fish in a loaf pan and bakes it, but when asked if she was going to use what she made, she said she wouldn't because of the unsanitary conditions. Dave and I had a lot of fun with that, as we both camped and in reality, the outdoors wasn't unsanitary at all provided you still did the basics on food preparation. No one even got sick if you dropped food on the ground and cooked it, but that depended just how hungry you were.
It was time for sampling and poor Dave had to be left alone as he struggled with cooking the samples everyone wanted, and Sue had a couple of problems, first she made her Gefilte balls to big and didn't have enough to go around, second quite a lot of Jewish people were put off by her sauce as the didn't consider it Jewish and even the attempts of other Jewish people to explain there is a Jewish population in Spain didn't help change their minds.
Liz was besieged by people asking advice about making Gefilte, and I could only admire her and nicked named her, "Scrappy Doo," from the Scooby Doo show. This was the first time I wished my father was alive because he didn't usually have too much an opinion on women, but would classify her as, "There's a woman you want to pick a fight with just to see how bad she will kick your ass, and it'll keep you real." I felt she was fantastic and really loved the fact she didn't have hesitations to answer questions.
It was time for judging, and it was a struggle with me between Liz and Dave. Sue sort of slipped out of contention as their just weren't enough samples to give out. I was a bit upset as had I known, I could have helped her to work it out better as I have been in those situations with cooking for parties at home and twice as many people show up as planned for.
I loved Liz's Gefilte Fish and it was by far the best traditional Gefilte I ever had, and wonderfully presented as well. I only would have liked to see about double the portion on the cracker as I felt it would have added the right proportion for flavor to the cracker.
It was a hard decision, but I gave my vote to Dave, as he had used Cobia fish which gave it a wonderful flavor, I liked the sweetness of his corn dog batter, as opposed of it being in the fish, as well this was his first attempt at making Gefilta. Dave won the contest, but only by three votes and while deserved in my mind, I was glad it was that close with Liz as she deserved great consideration as well, and most likely if Dave wasn't there, she'd a gotten my vote as well.
But nobody could help me with the project I always wanted to do, put the Gefilta back into the fish, and that idea did get a lot of attention, and unlike other times, a bit of respect instead of ridicule. I also paid attention to the Jewish Woman and just really felt she had a wonderful spirit about her. I just had to try and asked if I could get a photograph of us and with her agreeing, it not only surprised me, it made my day.
To top it all off, Dave had about two pounds of Gefilte left and gave it to me, I was going to have a lot of fun with it! I left the museum, but not before saying goodbye to everybody and telling the front desk what a special place I thought the museum was. But when I compared it to Emmitsburg and mentioned what happened to me, the elderly lady got upset and tried to ignore me. The younger one seemed interested, but I thought out of respect for the other lady, appeared not to pay attention.
I got home, did up the photographs and posted them. To me it was a coo to get the photograph with the Jewish Woman and was amazed to find her leaning in towards me, and I couldn't resist adding to the caption, "I can't believe, [she] said yes to me! Well posing for the photograph that is... I credited her and the staff, but I couldn't resist adding, "It looks like Popeye and Olive Oyl to me."
I also caught wind of their program which was going to be happening the next Thursday, "Nothing Beets Borsh(t)" I took off that week to complete this book, and decided one evening won't hurt me. I was not a fan of Borsch, as the jarred soup left me unimpressed to say the least, so I sort of had the mystery, Is Borsch made by a Russian Jew any better? I was looking anyway for a vegetable concoction to add to my diet.
With my donated Gefilte, it was off to work and already had toothpicks in the sausage sized pieces. At first one person who always tried what I made took one look and refused, as he compared it to Sushi, but after an explanation, he tried it and loved it! Other people were more game and loved it as well and to a large extent, knocked the humor right out of the Gefilte!
I started thinking as the director of the Jewish Museum wanted photographs of my Gefilte if I made it in the fish's skin, and knowing they have photographers at events; I decided to see if I could bring mine to the museum for their photographers to shoot, and to donate it to the table if they so desired.
Now I wondered just how much of the vacation would have to be used for this, and regardless had to purchase my fish poaching pan, so I also had to pay the big bucks to have it shipped second day. A poaching pan is long and thin, with an insert to keep the fish off the bottom. I thought I ordered the 24inch long model, but what was called express shipping had the same 1 week guarantee as standard service, with only the hope it would arrive sooner.
In all honesty, I wasn't sure the museum was going to opt for this, which was fine; and while I put a call into them about this, another problem cropped up; Hurricane Sandy hit and she was intense and long to sit though. This closed the Museum down for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday so the message would be received late.
There was no way, I could do Kosher completely, but I wanted the maximum number of Jewish people to try it, so I decided to purchase dedicated equipment for making Gefilta Wednesday. I figured at the Towson Market place, it was best to use Walmart and try to stay out of the Bed, Bath and Beyond if at all possible.
I was happy to get all the equipment I could need and it only stressed the budget, it didn't break it. I put the call into the director and he requested that I talk to the Jewish Woman, and got a messaged call back from her, but the Museum had already closed.
It was now Thursday and the day of the Borsch event, and before I could call her, had to go to Lexington Market to get the fish I was planning to use as Faidley's which was the only fish market that provided fresh, whole fish that I trusted. They also had the best chances of having the rockfish that I wanted for the skin.
As usual, anything Baltimore city wasn't going to be pleasant. I knew I would get a bus because it was rush hour and they dare don't screw with that and I was at Faidley's before it opened, but their ice making machine was broken so I was told they would open late.
I finally got a 22 inch rockfish and two trout about a foot long each ,and had them simply scale and gut them. Though they were on ice, time was of the essence so I went immediately to the bus stop, but the schedule had already slowed. To make it worse, one other white guy beside me decided to flip a person going into the bus the bird and made a scene.
When the bus, which was the one I wanted, got the stop; he kept driving on even though I was waving with bus pass in hand. It would be another hour before the 19, and the one I got on took its turn on Northern Parkway, so I got off there and decided to show off my fish at work. It's one of those deals, those that didn't like fish ran away, while my fish got gawked at, with those who loved them. I was happy everyone felt I had a fine catch, but time was running out.
I finally met on the phone with the Jewish Woman and she explained the photographers won't be there and it wasn't an event that they would put my fish out. To be honest, I felt it was for the best ... I was so exhausted I needed to crash and even if I had to try to make the fish, I might miss the Borsch event anyway. I had the sense of satisfaction of doing my best and the damn fish poaching pan hadn't made it to my house anyway.
I made it to the event and was immediately surprised that hardly any people were there. One guy came in, basically to scope things out in my mind, and tell everybody who he is. At this event the big deal was their open free bar (with donation bucket) because the Jewish Woman made up her Manischewitz "sangria."
They had a male worker tending the bar and we chatted and postulated about her concoction, and we opted for a beer as a Blue Moon fit in well with my plans to relax. The guy who came in basically indicated that he was too important to stay so he had to leave, which I don't think bothered anyone.
It now seemed to me it was going to be a lecture for one, namely me, but I was happy to see a couple more people show up, a woman and a man who came in separately and maybe a couple of others as well. I lamented with the work that goes into these things there weren't more people attending.
The lady who did the demonstration was Olga Berman who has a food blog site called, "mangotomato.com." I found the whole thing very interesting as you don't do what most do and throw all the vegetables in a pot and boil it. She used two pots and boiled some of the vegetables and saute'ed others in a frying pan. Then at the right times she combined them into two soup pots, which was a bit of a juggle of her.
She got to provide some information about her food site, then asked what everyone likes to cook and I replied Cajun and got a fee, "oohs," and then mentioned that I learned to cook Indian including Halal and got a few, "Aahs." Another lady mentioned she is strictly vegetarian as for a school field trip, they went to a Kosher butcher and she couldn't stand to eat meat after that. The Jewish Woman then mentioned that she liked to bake and her hands shot up in the air and opened and closed as she said, "I like kneading, it works out the frustrations and is therapeutic."
I laughed like hell at this, but suddenly stopped when I got the thought, Oh shit, I'd have to buy her a fucking bakery! With the Borsch completed, it was time to sample and I enjoyed photographing the crowd before I tried it myself, and discovering that making it her way, really does make it taste nice.
There was a little social time and I think guilt had me try a sample of the Manischewitz sangria, as the Jewish Woman made it, but mot being a Manischewitz fan, the fruit in it only made it more off putting. I could help but feel, Well is this is her drink of choice and she goes wild with it, you're going to need a diabetes test kit and insulin.
I enjoyed chatting with the Jewish Woman and we talked Gefilte and I told her there are no bad feelings and most likely by the time I would have finished it, would be exhausted and missed the event anyway. With all the work I had put in, I was exhausted anyway, but loved chatting with her as I loved the museum and also had wonderful feelings about her.
When I left, I just couldn't resist and told her, "[Woman,] I really dig you." I was totally shocked to see her smile and blush, but that warmed my heart up so much, on the bus trip home, I couldn't help but think about things. To me she was indeed special and I was glad to run across her as her qualities refreshed my view about women in my life.
The next day, it was Gefilta time, but I felt it best to put it off until evening, as the fish was still good and I wanted to work on this book. I started my Gefilte Adventure around 6:00pm. My main kitchen was trashed, but I have an apartment sized kitchen upstairs, and with the ex taking the furniture there were now two rows of shelves to act as tables; though with only enough room for a caver to enjoy like me to enjoy; it made for a wonderful prep and process kitchen.
I covered the shelves with tin foil and started to flesh and debone the fish, Well, there's nothing Kosher about ripping out a fish from its skin. Luckily I know skinning and fleshing. I had to get my fingers behind the spine and breaking all the little bones going to the fins. I was amazed just how easy it was. I took what meat I could get and put it in the flesh pile, while the bones went into the stock pot.
The trout was much easier and although it was the first time I filleted a fish, it worked out wonderfully, with the rest going into the stock pot. I used a recipe from the Dan Hotel in Israel and made the stock of fish remains, with onion, carrot and in my case, a small turnip and parsley. I ground the fish and added ground hardboiled egg, sugar, salt and white pepper; mixed it up with the raw egg and put it into the fish. Since the poaching pan finally arrived, I married the fish with the broth and cooked it up.
I couldn't wait to have the completed and cooked fish out of the over for its final photographic opportunity, but I discovered I had fleshed it to close and the skin was dissolved and reticulated. I tasted it and was immediately put off as it tasted like buttered and caramel popcorn, but since this is a chilled dish I had to wait anyway.
In the morning, it tasted great! I was happy that some of the sweetness had gone away and not being a fish skin person, actually felt it being left on gave it a great taste; but what to do with four pounds of Gefilte Fish? I decided to package some up for work and let everyone try mine.
The same people that tried Dave's from the GefilteFest, absolutely loved it and had seconds and the few that said they didn't like it fell into my plans. With them I pouted and said, "But it's made with rockfish... They worked through their dilemma and tried it, and thought it was pretty good themselves.
My biggest coup was, there was a guy there that is a Born Again Christian who prides himself on eating Biblically. Not necessarily a fish loving person, but with the Kosher implication, had to try it and he said it was good as well. People also had their fun with me and accused me of turning Jew, and other's asked why I would have anything to do with Jewish anything, "You're Christian."
I saw myself as an elderly Jewish woman from New York who felt she had nothing to lose, and imitating her voice I said, "Let me let you in on to a little secret, Jesus isn't Christian, he Jewish! He never condemned the religion." Then in my own voice, I added, "Besides is just plain fun!"
I knew it was good, but now it was time for the acid test, so I packed up a Gefilte presentation for the Baltimore Poetry Discussion Group meeting and knowing there were a few Jewish people there, felt it was going to be interesting.
I came early and set it out and with a few members there, was asked what I made and when I mentioned Gefilte Fish. One of the livelier one's of the bunch jumped back and yelled, "What! A gentile making a national Jewish dish, come on!" To him it was not only unbelievable; he made sure to get his ribbings in as well.
I went for the double barreled shotgun, "I also made it in the skin."
The only thing that I can quote here is stunned silence. "And I made it with rockfish and trout and used a recipe from the Dan Hotel."
Another Jewish person said, "The Dan Hotel? In Israel?" He was totally shocked and I explained how I purchased the Jewish and Israeli Cookbooks, as well explained their importance to me.
Then it was time to try and I put out the horseradish, rye points and the crackers. "You bought Tam-Tams, you're not going to tell me you drove all the way across town to get these?"
"I don't drive, I walk!" After the shock value wore off; I added, "No, I just walked to the Giant just up the road from me and purchased them there. They have a small kosher section I occasionally pick things up from."
I didn't realize that everybody at that poetry discussion was going to be Jewish that day, but they all seemed to love the Gefilte Fish and I was truly humbled at the compliments. I mentioned my frustration at having to figure out how to get the fish out of its skin, and I also gave them the low down on The Jewish Museum of Maryland's, GefilteFest.
The same boisterous person said, "Jewish Museum! Now that you have the first part of you conversion to Judaism down, the food! Maybe we can get you to do the final part of the conversion and get circumcised!"
With that comment being so close to mention of the Jewish Museum, I had the horrible vision of that suggestion being lodged with the museum as a letter and in no way did I want my name being mentioned as the sacrificial lamb and going across the Jewish Woman's desk.
It was with great joy that I was able to reply, "I hate to tell you, it's in the Bible too and my parents already made the decision on that one." Everyone got a chuckle out of it and we went into our poetry discussion. At the end I was shocked, as the person who mentioned the Dan Hotel in Israel, said he would love me to make him one.
"Wow! That's four hours work and $60.00 in fish!"
"I'll pay it, it's worth it!" That got everyone's attention.
There was another person there who was a definite introvert, and had a very abstract-defensive type of humor; but when he decided to speak, he was like an absolute genius. When he was asked, he laughed and said, "I survived!" as he shot out the door. I did receive an unexpected Facebook apology as the person never could eat Gefilte Fish.
I started to think about things, and since the Jewish Museum was the preverbal boot up my ass, I felt that they too deserved to be afforded the opportunity to try my Gefilte fish, so I made a care package and just about gave them the remaining fish, along with horseradish, home cultured sour cream, tam-tams and rye points.
I took the bus and made it there and the ladies at the front desk, another elderly woman as well a staff member, who seemed surprised and promised to put it away for the museum staff to try. I figured I would take in the other exhibit, "The Voices of Lombard Street."
I was intently interested as my own maternal grandmother came from near the area at the turn of the century and I enjoyed the depiction of the early life which appeared to be exactly described as my Grandma told it to me. The only one inaccuracy in my opinion and experiences was their latrine, as I haven't saw one yet without a crack board to attempt to sit on without getting pinched; and more of a chess game if it is a two-seater. I also made fun of the latrine, because it was a varnished, "Cadillac," model. While nice to look at, it was far from practical and I had my ass frozen to enough seats made from plain wood during subzero weather.
The exhibit continued with the working conditions in the struggling conditions, as well the store front stores, delis and butchers; then moved on to the time the whole area transitioned and some events, like the riots which prompted the Jewish people move away from the area.
I showed the staff, my favorite part of the exhibit which was had a mock up of a butcher shop with chickens in it and told the story of my grandmother's pet duck, and mentioned the poem I adapted, "My pet goose."
I know I talked to the Jewish Woman, and while I don't remember the conversations it was warm, friendly and I loved the smile that I seemed to be able to generate. It made me wonder if she had feelings for me, as I now had increasing ones for her, but I was too afraid to say anything.
I said goodbye the women at the desk and to me, the museum still had the same exact feeling as the Shrine at Emmitsburg. I mentioned that perceived oddity to them, but had to tell them what happened to me there, and the elderly woman seemed to jump and then immediately start doing her crossword puzzle.
The other staff member at the desk seem to do the same, but I felt she had taken the lead from the elderly woman, but might have been interested and continued to explain hoping to at least conclude the story. I was happy and this time the bus ride home was consumed with thoughts about the Jewish Woman.
What I liked most about the Jewish Woman was simply her qualities and the fact she acted like a lady, which helped to offset what I saw on the streets from where I lived. I loved watching her work her magic at the events and she always seemed a pleasing, enjoyable person; and what a joy that someone still had the ability to create feelings in me.
With the Gefilte Fish out of the way, I started thinking of the experience and started to realize the adventure alone had just about all the elements of anything I had written in this book, plus with the feelings the Jewish Woman had generated I felt had the cords of a crown knot to it, as well a fairly positive ending, where I could at least use those feelings I had, for a positive conclusion and message.
It had culture, a religion I had not yet incorporated into my work, as well interesting people and food stories. Especially since I had wanted to make Gefilte for such a long time, finished the food adventure aspect off perfectly. It also had a real nice 98ROCK tie in, and the qualities of the Jewish Woman I could laud a bit, as I enjoyed the lady like persona she had.
It is one of those deals; I had to query myself on my feelings and whether or not there was at least a potential relationship and future. The more I thought about the Jewish Woman; the more I felt indeed, the potential was there, but as it translated to the book, I would be willing for the relationship which added a hope aspect to the conclusion of my life.
It was so nice to be able to make someone smile, blush and appear to be touched by even simple compliments, but this also had its element of frustration as I what I loved best was the Jewish Woman simply working her magic at work for people.
Given that I really loved the museum, this was more a mental indulgence as I had no desire to let the bad karma of what desire and dating caused to enter in and get me in trouble with the woman or the museum. I thanked God for the story I was going to use and prayed that the museum would keep up its activities and the Jewish Woman would very simply remain friendly and seemingly caring towards me.
To me, she was beautiful and what I loved was that her grace shown though, though she kept herself in a Plain Jane sort of way. To me the beauty still shined though and I was happy about finding a person who won't be lost in the mirror at all times, to the exclusion of all else including common sense.
I was not only hoping my interaction with the Jewish Woman was not only a positive for me at the museum, but that it could lead to other meetings outside of the museum, yet that had trepidations for me. I loved the idea of getting together and enjoying life as we get to know the other more personally; but I was fearful of declaring dating.
That was something that I just couldn't do, as like doing the Gefilte Fish project, I would have to make personal sacrifices just to go out on occasion. Before my marriage, dating had also proved to myself that I had bought a woman, and she expected far more in marriage then with dating; unrealistically so.
I also worked that split-shift, and trying to devote such time would totally wreck me and if it affected the bread and butter to pay the bills. I feared, I would have no choice then to end a dating relationship; not to mention I wouldn't be getting any sleep and further running myself ragged. In addition to work, I also loved writing and again, fearful that to go out with her, I would have to hang up that aspect of my life which provided so much joy for me and totally devote that time to her.
With blocking out the time to work or think about this book, I had to totally let the house go and hated the feeling of her reaction to seeing the house in the condition I had let it get into; fearing that I kidnapped both Howard Hughes and John Belushi.
I remember the reaction of my photography teacher from high school when the house was in much better order and haven't communicated with him since. I doubt with a prospective woman, "At least I don't pee in the bottles yet," wouldn't really work. My desire was that if there is any relationship outside of the museum, it would go very slow and we simply enjoy the time we do find for the other.
Of course with thoughts of love it is an endless logic argument of, "What, If, And, Or, Else." I didn't know the exact type of Judaism she practiced, so I figured she would be fairly conservative and perhaps there would be expected time with her family, and I didn't see any family member impressed with me for a whole variety of reasons.
First is the obvious age difference. I thought, Well you could take them to your favorite cave; three hundred feet up a mountain, a twenty foot rappel down a cliff face to the ledge, the first thirty minute crawl through clay dust under an ancient sea. That might impress the museum curiosity of [the Jewish Woman] but... With the chimneying, twisting, turning, climbing, crawling, horrid ear scraping tight spots, and jumping for about ten hours. I doubt they would be happy to see you getting up the next morning to get them moving again, no matter how much pain is in your system.
Could take them to work, so they can see what you do as they watch ...Offloading pallets of paper, humping 150 pound cartons, reloading the skids, cutting; mixing inks and washing up presses, while everyone else watches, except for Mr. Ed who is the only person who offers to help me at age 75. Well, I bet they would totally disdain for you for such labor. Could take the men out in a snow storm and prove I was the only person not to drop.
The difference in religions didn't bother me in the least, but I doubt they wouldn't share my attitude in that either. As far as I was concerned, I had no interest in taking away what made the Jewish Woman great in my mind, or forcing any belief I had on her. Personally I could accept Judaism as well as practice it, as it wasn't too far off the mark and I had some knowledge of them as well.
Even if I practiced Judaism, I still couldn't consider myself a Jewish person because I believed very much in Christ and all that I would expect is to be respected in my belief. Then again, how do you explain your belief isn't one of worship or practice, but a face to face one ... I, fucked up? God, what happened even put you at odds with your own churches, Oy vey!
To me the Jewish woman was also very attractive, but I loved the Plain Jane about her the most, as it was the qualities and the way she was I found most appealing. She was also a very short and petite person, and so much so, I did check out her Facebook page and the only information available was she attended a college which put my mind to rest about her age. I never sought out to Facebook friend her because I usually don't try to friend women and the few times I did, not only had to. "unfriend," them, but block them as well.
With the feelings she garnered from me, there was a definite place in my arms and I could see having her melt in my arms for a hug, and I had that desire of a kiss, as well a place in my lap for her to rest or a body to cuddle. I didn't have much thought towards sex, as I know my mistake and felt that perhaps, she was saving herself. If there was to be making love, I just prayed to God that it would complement the relationship and not complicate it.
No matter what, I felt family would be involved and no doubt if a relationship was forming with the Jewish Woman, the family would expect me to make a good argument on how I would support her and a family; this is where I became over-emotional and angry at myself.
There is a fairly deregulatory word, JAP, for Jewish American Princess. Well in my opinion she deserved to be treated like a princess and perhaps with her qualities, it wouldn't go to her head. The best I could do was The Fiddler on the Roof. That was when I got mad and threw something; because how can I make an argument about supporting someone to their parents when I couldn't make it to myself.
"Well, I went for love and lost everything trying to secure it?" Good intentions or doing the right thing doesn't matter to most people who would only view me as a fool!
While I didn't hold out high hopes for such a love to develop from the Jewish Woman's side, if it did there would only be one reason, we had a true love for the other and with that, any hurdle or deficiency would be dealt with and accepted. I remained very happy because of the positive relationship that seemed to exist at the museum, and it I figure in the vast future it would play itself out as an ideal or ordeal for me.
I felt the ideals she seemed to have as well their effect upon me deserved to be preserved in an attributed poem regarding love. On Thursday, I both wrote and penned the poem, "The Light of Love." A poem that both lay tribute to the Jewish Woman's qualities and the effect it was having upon me, as I compared my discovery to the light that held the miracle of the endless oil which is represented by the Menorah.
At the time, I felt it was the least I could do to celebrate such qualities and feelings. I loved the reviews the poem received as I posted it online, but really didn't have the thought of giving it to the Jewish Woman because of the effect I felt my last attributed love poem foisted upon me, "Robin's Poem."
With the inclusion of my Gefilta adventure in this book, I was hoping not to ruffle any feathers as it meant a return visit to the museum once again to take the Synagogue tour and view the exhibits to take notes. I was particularly interested in listing the rescued Toras. The ulterior motive was to debunk my feelings that The Jewish Museum of Maryland had the exact same feel as The National Shrine of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, in Emmitsburg.
I got off the bus at Baltimore's Inner Harbor and made the walk down Lombard Street in the direction of the museum and I noticed this guy did a double take and when he looked at me a second time, he appeared just to about shit himself. I recognized him as one of the armed robbers from the year before.
I made sure to give him the same exact smile that I did after they were walking away from their robbery, then coyly disappeared to unnerve the guy. He wasn't the person that stabbed me, but the one who was walking satellite around me.
I was hoping if they were worried about suddenly being confronted by me, they would be looking over their shoulder too much to rob anyone else. One thing was for sure, going to the museum definitely presented its element of danger for me, and I had to be ever vigilant to who was around me or even hiding in the shadows.
I stated at the museum, I was there due to, "Unintended consequences," as the Gefilte Adventure would be a wonderful way to finish the biography I was working on and mentioned it had most of the elements of the book. They seemed a bit shocked, but also touched they would be included in my book.
I paid my eight bucks and waited for the tour which would be starting soon. I came as early as I could because I wanted to get in, get out and get writing towards completion of this book. I had no intention of bothering the Jewish Woman, since I was skittish about the unexpected visit, but she popped out of the hall which had a partition dividing it so I said, "Hi!" and she waved back with a smile.
This time it was set up for a social in relation to the B'nai Israel Synagogue. The director was also there and I talked with him about being a volunteer at The National Aquarium in Baltimore and the fun I had, as well mention the Taylors. He immediately stated, "Well, everything's so sensitive these days." The statement struck me as a little queer, but I lauded the Taylors as co directors, but when I mentioned my dealings with Jeff Jerome of the Poe House, he once again walked off before I could finish.
I also enjoyed another staff member walking up to me and introducing herself. I saw the Jewish Woman with a 15 month old, little girl and I couldn't help but wonder if they were related, as I enjoyed the interaction of the two. I wondered if she picked up on my thought line as she stated, "This is the Rabbi's daughter," then she pointed out his wife.
The Jewish Woman invited me to enjoy the food they had laid out, which made me feel honored, but I declined as the tour was about to start. I did enjoy chatting with her and explaining my return. I liked the Rabbi who showed a certain grace with his appearance with the, "Nothing Beets Borsch," demonstration.
This time I did chance talking with him and asked for a little commentary on people skittishness around the museum and he seemed a bit perplexed to explain things as well. I mainly wanted to gain information on whether I was breaking some taboo or custom. Then I when I described the conversation where the director walked off for the first time at the Chosen Foods during the GefilteFest, he too walked off as well.
The Synagogue tour started, and I was joined by two members of the media, from an out of state Jewish publication; I thought this was perfect and as we walked the street, a couple other people also joined the tour.
Since the exact same person was leading the tour, I was happy just how much of it was as I remembered. But then we went from the ark, to the basement and I brought up the rescued Torahs. The guide stated that he was told to omit them because the museum felt it made the tour too long.
I asked if he would cover them anyway as it was the reason I retook the tour and added, "I'll let them know I made you include them so I can take the blame; that's why I am retaking the tour." The other media there really appreciated this as well.
Unlike I thought at my debunking, the second tour of the Synagogues only cemented the feelings I had with comparing them to The Shrine of Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emittsburg, Maryland. The Lloyd Street Synagogue reminded me exactly of the Old Chapel, while the Matzo oven and mitzvah area reminded me of the other buildings at The National Shrine.
Though much less elaborate, the B'Nai Israel Synagogue had the exact same feel as the basilica as well the museum portion of the place seemingly matched that of The National Shrine's as well, though it was laid out muh differently. This, "feel," had me absolutely astounded as it never happened to me before.
The Jewish Woman was still there going between the welcome desk and the spread for the synagogue. She asked me if I was coming to, "The Sabbath Tables," and I replied, "No, I plan to come to, "A Taste of Hutzler's," but if you think it is important, I will attend the, 'Sabbath Tables,' one."
There was absolute silence and I wondered if it was because she didn't want me to come, she wanted me to arrive at my own decision or it was some sort of a test. I finished with, "I wasn't expecting to, but will rethink my decision as I do want to learn more about the Jewish faith." I felt it was at least a safe answer.
Then the Executive Director walked up to her within earshot and said something along the lines of, "I want you to add [someone or the other] to next year's GefiteFest as they have a wonderful recipe for Gefilte fish..." He then took her behind the patrician to continue talking so I couldn't understand them.
I was left wondering, Is this for my benefit, or a snub of some sort? I had to question the entire timing as I felt a note on her desk would have been a better way. It's like this, while I enjoyed making my in-the-fish Gefilte, and did offer it for a future event, if they didn't want me to participate, I would be fine with it.
Even though I purchased dedicated equipment; not being there would save me hundreds of dollars and a full day's work, plus a day at the event. I never worried about winning such a competition because if it is on the up and up, you never know how the crowd will vote;. If it isn't you won't win anyway. To me, it struck me as a pussy-like move on the part of the director, especially because of the way it seemed to go down.
Finally for my day it was off to the, "Chosen Food," and, "The Voices of Lombard Street," exhibits to take photographs, notes and work up an outline. Afterwards, I did gather some of the staff and took them in the Lombard Street exhibit to show them my favorite part, which was the mock up of the butcher shop and explained my grandmother lived around this area at the turn of the century and adopted a pet duck that became soup, as well the poem I created called, "My Pet Goose."
With all my work done, I was hankering to leave and get back home to once again write on this book. I did bring the copy of the attributed poem that I wrote for her, and stated to think about things, which really made me wrestle with myself on whether or not to give it to her. For whatever reason, I started thinking about Jim Morrison and felt he would expect a poem such as this to be delivered to the person that inspired the work.
I once again got her attention, and explained that she touched me very much and with being a poetic writer, felt she was due the honor of an attributed poem. I also explained my belief that the last one I wrote was handled very punitively and I almost lost my house over this because what I felt it did to my salary, so was a bit scared.
I then handed it to her, and I think her immediate reaction was of both shock and disbelief and then tears when she started reading it. I explained that it is attributed, but not by name, because how she appeared to be on the radio station. I let her know I would love to put her name to this, but it would be best if she gives me the permission.
At that point, I started to walk out, but was also consumed with the emotions this generated and couldn't help but wonder if the Jewish Woman is a blessing to God, or what I called, "The Muslim Woman's Curse," which was a actual prayer that God finds someone for me and lets me know everything's alright to be with her, as well letting her know the same about me.
With that so strongly on my mind, I walked up to the woman at the desk who I think pretty much knew I had feelings for the Jewish Woman; I couldn't help but to tell that story. I noticed the Jewish Woman looking and sort of cocking her head and shining an eye at me, I thought, God Mike; you even love her evil eye! I wondered if she believed me or simply thought I was flirting with anything that moved.
I left feeling elated and happy that I found such a wonderful place to visit, and it wasn't until I was back on the bus that I made the decision to go to, "Sabbath Tables," for a variety of reasons. With always working till I dropped, I never observed the Sabbath and would enjoy doing so; I also did want to know more about how Jewish people celebrate the Sabbath. I figured with perhaps with being there, it would make the Jewish Woman more comfortable with the idea of spending time together if that was going to be in the cards.
I was so happy to find a place I really enjoyed visiting in Baltimore, I expressed my thankfulness to God, and promised to do my best with maintaining the good relations I felt were there; and while fearful as this is the point where all hell seems to break loose, it wouldn't be happening at the museum.
I had long wanted to devote a portion of my biweekly pay check to purchasing museums memberships as Baltimore has that many; I made the decision to start with getting one for The Jewish Museum of Maryland.
(Continued next chapter)
The Light of Love
How can it be penetrated?
A man's heart.
Hurt and calloused over;
to love totally resistant.
Yet a special eye
turned in his direction,
a subtle smile as his blood
finds love in an instant.
Nay! He says! No, no more!
Enough I shan't look back again,
he can't help himself...
Another glance.
This time her voice born upon the air,
and his reflective spirit
jostles him to once again care,
this unexpected chance.
A meeting once again,
he can't help but care.
In that light of love he preserves
the flame with a photograph.
Visions fill his head; love, his heart...
He feels a fool being
pulled by another's string;
a pawn of a Godly choreograph.
Not to be a pest, but necessary ...
to compliment her best;
a simple compliment engulfs his
soul with an indulgent,
yet embarrassed blush.
But he now fears!
What he hath always saw;
some invisible trespass
which would break his heart
and create in her...
That last straw.
Not anticipated, is the chance to join
with her the closeness he really desires.
The struggle pervades in him;
the rejection not yet come,
or love's soulful fires.
While he sings to the Heavens,
his praise laden psalms;
he also hopes she understands
his heart's plied alms.
She became his miraculous metal,
no matter how the future's sway.
With love's grace upon him...
As if lamp filled of endless oil,
to still light heart's way.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. How can it be penetrated?
A man's heart.
Hurt and calloused over;
to love totally resistant.
Yet a special eye
turned in his direction,
a subtle smile as his blood
finds love in an instant.
Nay! He says! No, no more!
Enough I shan't look back again,
he can't help himself...
Another glance.
This time her voice born upon the air,
and his reflective spirit
jostles him to once again care,
this unexpected chance.
A meeting once again,
he can't help but care.
In that light of love he preserves
the flame with a photograph.
Visions fill his head; love, his heart...
He feels a fool being
pulled by another's string;
a pawn of a Godly choreograph.
Not to be a pest, but necessary ...
to compliment her best;
a simple compliment engulfs his
soul with an indulgent,
yet embarrassed blush.
But he now fears!
What he hath always saw;
some invisible trespass
which would break his heart
and create in her...
That last straw.
Not anticipated, is the chance to join
with her the closeness he really desires.
The struggle pervades in him;
the rejection not yet come,
or love's soulful fires.
While he sings to the Heavens,
his praise laden psalms;
he also hopes she understands
his heart's plied alms.
She became his miraculous metal,
no matter how the future's sway.
With love's grace upon him...
As if lamp filled of endless oil,
to still light heart's way.
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