Old Cheezel is a weasel and a razzle-dazzle fellow,
For his whiskers they are crimson, while his feathers they are yellow,
And he wears a woolly waistcoat with a pair of bright blue braces
When he waddles off to Ascot just to see the tortoise races.

When the starter fires his pistol and the steward rings his bell
All the tortoises start toddling (and they toddle very well!)
Tardy Tortoise Twinkles is the favourite and he's cocky
On his back rides Bertie Bunny who's the finest tortoise jockey.

Now Cheezel has a habit and it may make him a sinner
When he sees a passing rabbit, he will grab it for his dinner.
As the finish line is looming and the favourite has 'em beaten,
In a flash the jockey's jumped on and he's just as quickly eaten.

Next past the post is Shell Shocked, but alas for owner's pride
He is found to be a turtle and he's thus disqualified.
While the other twenty 'runners'grow all frisky-fractious-frettish
For it seems they've all developed a lively lettuce fetish.

So Cheezel saunters homewards with a full and frumptious belly
Where he sits in great contentment with his feet up by the telly.
Seems this crimson-whiskered, yellow-feathered weasel with blue braces
'Stead of money, won a bunny; made a killing at the races.