Background:. Forced to stay longer at the boarding house, the robbers want dinner, but
there's not much food available. MACK goes to briefcase to get money for shopping and
is stopped by three boarders who stole from the stash when left unguarded. ELLEN, who
always cries poor mouth, produces bills stuffed in her robe pocket.  She offers them to
MACK and gets the following reaction from landlady, SARGE LA BELLE.

SARGE
You owe me rent!  Where’d you get all this cash? 

ELLEN (glares at Kandy) 
I hide emergency money now where it can't be soaked.

                   (MICKEY takes a key from the rack by  basement door.)
MICKEY
I’m guessin’ this here starts that piece of junk in the garage.

SARGE
You can’t take my car!

MICKEY (more than annoyed)
I can’t take your car.  I can’t go down your basement.  Who the hell is giving orders around here!          
                  (Tosses key to MACK)
                   
MACK
I don’t ‘member where the store is.

MICKEY
Do I have to tell you everything?

KANDY
Don’t yell at him, you bully.

MICKEY
Mind your own business.

 MACK
Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that. I’m gonna take her with me.

MICKEY
Oh?  Is that the plan?  Take the money and run?                      

MACK
You got the money, not me.  I’m still your friend.

MICKEY
Okay, okay.  I’m gonna choose to believe you.  Boots, you go with him. If you run into anyone, Mack is your cousin. 

SARGE
I don’t want a cousin who robbed a bank. 

MICKEY
And I don’t want to have to hurt one of these ladies!  Mack, start calling her “Auntie” so she gets used to it.

MACK
I never had no aunt. I was an orphan.

KANDY
Really?  My parents didn’t want me either –once I started stripping. 

ELLEN
That reminds me. I need hemorrhoid cream.
                          
LOONY
Put  “Depends” on your list, Sarge.  Frieda just ran out.

                      (FRIEDA gives her the evil eye.)
                   
KANDY
Mack, want to buy condoms?
                   
MACK
Yeah!

MICKEY       
You ain’t buyin’ nothin’ but meat and potatoes.  Now, get going!  You broads stay on the sofa.
                     
                         (MACK and SARGE exit.  MICKEY sits at a table, his gun trained on the
                         five women, briefcase at his feet.  Silence reigns for a few seconds. Then
                         FRIEDA turns to MICKEY.)

FRIEDA 
Loony’s the one with a bed-wetting problem, I just want you to know.  It’s not me.

LOONY
Tattletale. At least I never--
                   
FRIEDA
Don’t you dare!  I told you that in secret.

CRYSTAL  (to FRIEDA)
Ah, this be why you no let me read your hand.

KANDY
I’m bored.  Can we play a game?
                   
                    (LOONY produces glasses, perches them on her nose, assumes a professional
                    attitude.)

LOONY
Let’s do group therapy. I’ll be the doctor and start with our guest for the day. Mr. Mancuso?

MICKEY
Therapy! I ain’t gonna play that game.

LOONY
Okay, We’ll do twenty questions then.   Do you have any brothers or sisters?

MICKEY
I got a sister. What’s it to you?

FRIEDA
Trixie!  I remember her.  She was in my class three years after you.  What a delightful child.  Straight “A’s” and always winning awards.

MICKEY
Thanks for reminding me, Frigid Face.
                  
FRIEDA
I’ll bet she’s a CEO or a stockbroker by now--

MICKEY
She woiks for the government. 

FRIEDA
Really?

MICKEY
Yeah, she don't pay no taxes for five years straight, so the President hires her to keep his books.
                        
KANDY
Maybe you should try that.  Skip taxes, I mean.

LOONY (sternly)
Don’t encourage bad behavior, Kandy. Let’s stay on track.  Mr.Mancuso, I sense deep hostility toward your sister. Did your parents play favorites?   

MICKEY
You bet. She always got to pick the family movie. I had to sit through The Sound of Music and My Fair Lady seventeen times—each. It made me puke when Professor Huggins kept pickin’ on that flower girl  'cuz she don't talk proper English.  I’d of shot him. (to FRIEDA)  Get the message, Strychnine?

LOONY
Frieda, you need to tell Mr. Mancuso you won’t correct his English any more.

FRIEDA
What! 

MICKEY
You heard the lady.  You is traumatizing me.

LOONY
Tell us about the first Christmas you remember.
           
MICKEY  (with increasing emotion)              
I was three years old.  Trixie was a baby.  She got a silver rattle. I got a plastic toy from China that broke in my mouth and almost choked me

CRYSTAL
So when you turn to crime. Trigger-happy Sheep?
                          
FRIEDA
Fourth grade.  He took twenty-dollars from my purse. Thought I didn’t notice, huh Mancuso.

MICKEY
If you saw me, Frigid Face, why didn’t you turn me over to the cops?

FRIEDA
I hoped you would use it to buy shoes. And I-I felt sorry for you. No one played with you—except  Mack. 
                   
ELLEN
So what did you do with Frieda’s money?

FRIEDA       
Tried to buy friends.

MICKEY
Did not! I gambled for marbles.

KANDY       
You gamble?  Every man I hooked up with at the Magnolia was a gambler. They always lost and got beat up by the mob. After a while, guys avoided me.  (starts to cry) They said I was a jinx. Told the manager to fire me.

LOONY
So you have no friends either?  Like me. And Frieda.  And now, Mr. –

MICKEY
I do so have a friend!  Two in fact.  Mack and Mad Dog. So there!

KANDY
I once had a friend.  Lincoln something. He had a real important job—president of a big building that started with “F”. I gave him my tips every night so he could pay back what he lost. Now that I’m gone, I bet he’s in big debt.

CRYSTAL
See?  Men take advantage of you.  Watch out for Pea Brain Mack.

LOONY
We’re coming to the end of our session—
           
MICKEY
Not yet. I want to hear about my teacher. (to FRIEDA) Wasn’t you engaged?

FRIEDA (coldly)
I don’t remember.

 MICKEY (goading)
I do.  It was all over school.  He left you at the altar.

 KANDY (to FRIEDA)
You had a boyfriend?

FRIEDA
Of course, I did. I wasn’t always—

MICKEY
Frigid?

LOONY
Go on, Frieda.  Tell him why your boyfriend dumped-- 

FRIEDA
I hate you, Loony! 

To be continued.