At this point the thieves are holding six ditzy renters at gunpoint as they wait
for their getaway man to arrive.  Mack  has just come back from the bathroom
where he  took the briefcase.  When he comes back, he's empty-handed. He 
sees  that MICKEY and FRIEDA  are talking again.

MACK
Wow! You two is getting’ along. 

MICKEY
No we ain’t.

FRIEDA
Not until Hell freezes over.

                           (During this exchange CRYSTAL whispers to KANDY)   

MICKEY (to MACK)
Go back to the kitchen and look for the clothesline again.

                            (MACK exits SR)

KANDY
I gotta go to the powder room too.  

MICKEY
No, you ain’t. 

FRIEDA        
Don’t say “ain’t,” dammit!
 
MICKEY
Teachers ain’t suppose to swear. You said “damn”.

FRIEDA                
And I’ll say it again. Damn. Damn. Damn.  I’ll even use it in a sentence.  You’re a damn thief and a damn liar. Got it!

KANDY (singsong)
I’m going to have an accident.

MICKEY
Then go!   

KANDY
Thank you.
                             (She exits S.L  )                    

CRYSTAL (to SARGE)
So this really be condemned house?

SARGE
What do you expect for ninety dollars a month.          
                                
ELLEN  
She pays ninety?  You’re charging me a hundred and ten!

FRIEDA
I pay a hundred and thirty!

LOONY
Ha ha a ha ha. I only pay seventy.     
                                                               
CRYSTAL
World War Three about to start.  Do something Gun Man. ( pauses)  But no shoot.   

MICKEY
I’ll do something all right.  You broads is all goin’ downstairs.  

SARGE
You’re locking us in my basement?
                    
MICKEY
You got it,  Boots.   Mack, get out here and escort the ladies downstairs.

                       (MACK returns, opens  door.) 

ELLEN
No!   I'm scared of rats. 
                        
LOONY
Not me. I gonna grab one and pull its teeth out.

                         (She heads down. The others hang back.)

MACK
No, no!  The tallest lady goes first, then --    

SARGE
Rank goes next.
 
                         (She heads down, followed by FRIEDA.  O.S. sounds of toilet flushing,
                         pipes banging and faucet squeal.  KANDY returns,  stands behind sofa,
                         holds briefcase aloft. MICKEY has his back to her. CRYSTAL locks eyes
                         with  Kandy, points frantically to ground, mouths "Hide it.")

MICKEY  (stares at CRYSTAL)
What the--

CRYSTAL (drops to her knees)
I lost my contact.   Don’t move!

                      (KANDY shoves the briefcase under  sofa, then pops back up,
                      crosses to CRYSTAL , gets down on hands and knees.)
 
KANDY
I don’t see it, Madame Crystal.  
                              
MICKEY
Get up, both of youse.   Down to the basement.
                                 
                     (KANDY scurries over still on hands and knees.   CRYSTAL helps her
                     up and they hustle downstairs.  MICKEY locks the door, returns key to
                     hook, sits at  table. )  

MICKEY
Mack, bring the briefcase over here.     
                       
MACK
I think I left it by the potty.  

MICKEY
Okay, okay. I’ll get it.  

                     (He exits SL .  MACK unzips duffel bag, pulls out large brassiere.)     
             
MACK
Wow!
                    
MICKEY (O.S.)
Are you sure you took it to the bathroom?
                    
MACK  
Hey, Mick.  Wait  ’til you see what I found.  Wonder where I can find the lady who fits this?
.                                                      
                   (MICKEY returns, grabs the bra,  stuffs it back into bag.)

MICKEY
Them's clothes for charity. The broad's  dead, and you'll be too,  if you don’t find that briefcase.

MACK
I took it to the bathroom like you told me.
                    
MICKEY
Well, it ain’t there, buddy. (a beat)  Wait a minute! Kandy went in there right after you.  I’m thinking you and this stripper got  a code.  She’s blowin’ kisses and touchin’ your hand.  You two trying to pull a fast one on me?

                      (He pulls his gun on MACK)
                    
MACK
A fast one?  
                    
MICKEY
I don’t like being double-crossed.  Say your prayers, Mr. Ruffalo.

MACK (on his knees, trembling)
Now I lay me down—
                           
                                                       CURTAIN
END of ACT I
Stay tuned for Act II.