MACK  (straightening chairs)    
 We’ll give you a thousand dollars to let us—

SARGE 
A thousand dollars!  Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t make that kind of money.

MICKEY
For the last time, you old –I mean-- Ma’am, we’re not witnesses for a guy named Jehovah. 

SARGE
Humph! That’s too bad. I almost changed my mind. After all, a church is a church. But if you’re not peddling the word of God, get your bag of Bibles and head downtown.  

MICKEY 
The bag! Um. I forgot. Jehovah told us to collect clothes for charity.  That’s working for the church, ain’t it?  So can we have the room now?

SARGE
Wait here. I got things to get rid of.  (exits to kitchen.)                                  

MACK (to MICKEY)
Can I put on jeans?  These pants give me a wedgie.

MICKEY
Sure, Mack. Wear your ski mask too. That’ll convince the lady we’re upright citizens.
                                                 
MACK  (opens duffel bag,)
I forgot. Are we FBI or Jeopardy’s Witness?                                       

MICKEY       
Close the bag pea brain. You ain’t changin’ no clothes.  Straighten up those magazines.           

MACK  (happily following orders)
Hey Mick, I wonder if the women here have big— 

MICKEY
Shut up. Mack. We don’t even think about dames ’til we get out of the country.

 MACK
I hope Mad Dog Joey don’t get caught in the storm.

 MICKEY
What storm?                                                                                                                                   

MACK
A man on the bus was talkin’ about a surprise blizzard in Joisey. His son—

MACK 
Easy as cheatin’ on a test. ’Member them days, Mick?    

MICKEY
Yeah, yeah.  Sixth grade. And that frigid-faced teacher.  Boy, she had it in for me.  C’mon, we got work to do.  (unzips bag, pulls out wire cutters, hands them to MACK.)  Cut the phone line. Should be on left side of house. 

MACK  (at  door)  
Which way is left, Mick?

MICKEY
Just cut any wires you see!  Go! 

   (MACK exits right. MICKEY closes case, then pulls out  a gun, tucks it  into his
                 waistband,  covers with jacket. Footsteps sound. SARGE enters, carrying an extra
                 large brassiere in each hand.)

SARGE
Here you are, Mr. Witness.  Women this size have  – 

MICKEY  (tosses them into bag.)
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

SARGE
Where’s your partner?                         

    (On cue, MACK returns, cutters in hand.)

MACK
Over here, Ma’am.   I went out to cut—

MICKEY  (to  SARGE)
Ruffalo went to cut a tree branch that tripped him.   Almost fell. He coulda sued you.  (grabs cutters from MACK, shoves them into bag.)                                  

SARGE
Sue me?  I don’t have any money.

MACK
We have lots of—               

MICKEY  (pinches  MACK'S  arm,  turns to SARGE) 
So, do we get that room now?

SARGE
Sorry, boys.  I rented my last one two weeks ago to a woman who reads hands. 

MACK
No kiddin’!  I’ve always wanted to have my fortune told.

SARGE
You mean Jehovah’s Witnesses believe in that stuff?                                                

MICKEY
We’re not—

 SARGE
I don’t, of course.  But I rented her a room anyway. She had cash. I had a big closet. 

 MICKEY
Okay, okay.  I get the message.  No room at the inn. But how 'bout a cup of coffee before we head next door to convert the Catholic.

SARGE
Two coffees on the double.  (exits to kitchen.)

 MACK
I hate coffee.  Whyn’t you ask for Gaterade?  

MICKEY
You dummy. I just had to get her out of the room.  We ain’t got much time.  That door by the kitchen must lead to a basement.  Maybe it ’d be better to hide the briefcase. Never know when a cop will show. Go down and look for a place.   (crosses to desk as MACK heads for the basement.)  I’m gonna find news.

                               (MACK looks at the keys on rack, starts to arrange according to size.  MICKEY
                               fiddles with radio,  tunes into static. then …)    

ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER
More news after this word from our sponsor.            

 (During the following voiceover MICKEY spots MACK playing. He marches over, pulls
                longest key off hook, unlocks door, yanks it open, turns on a light switch, shoves  MACK
                in.  Shutting the door, he returns key, crosses back to briefcase.) 

SPONSOR VOICEOVER
Run, don’t walk, to the nearest drugstore today and look for the mud colored label.  Megalax-- the tasteless, odorless laxative that gets you moving.  No more straining. Just mix one teaspoon into your coffee, juice or even water. That’s right.  A teaspoon a day will take away those uncomfortable sit-downs.

                              (MACK opens case,  pilfers some bills, stuffing them into pockets.)                          

ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER
We received an update on the unexpected snowstorm that's hitting all of New Jersey and closing down back roads, highways and the airport.  Here’s Tornado John to tell youl about it.                                                                                                               
                            (MICKEY returns to the desk, rummages through drawers, pockets a watch, yanks
                            flowers from vase, stems dripping. Finding  ELLEN’S soggy bills,  he squeezes water
                            out, replaces flowers,  puts  wet dollars in his shoe.)

 TORNADO JOHN VOICEOVER
Thirty-four flights from whatever the name of that big airport is, have been cancelled so far, and snow continues to fall. Traffic is moving at a snail’s pace as snow plows work—

  (A scream erupts from upstairs. MICKEY turns down volume.  A second scream, 
                He runs to  bottom of stairs, hand on his gun.)

To be continued.