Ignatius Loyola is quoted as saying, "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man." Some have argued that by five you can determine how a child will act at twenty-two. Others contend that the die is cast even earlier because genes largely determine IQ and temperament. Scientists, who believe core values, likes, dislikes, etc. are formed at ten, give only a little more latitude. Core values is another way of referring to character.

I do not believe a child's character is pre-ordained. If character is formed so early, how can we hold anyone responsible for the way they turn out? When we are young, we are at the mercy of our parents, our teachers, and others to instill in us their values. We have no control over the innate traits we inherited from those who contributed to our DNA. It is unfair to look at a young child and predict what he will be like as an adult. It robs the child the potential to develop and improve. I have to believe character never stops developing. Still from my own experience, I realize what happens during those early years has a lasting impact.

As an only child living in the outskirts of a small town, my home life was limited to adults. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were my closest contacts outside of school. My mother and father seemed proud of me most of the time, and the other adults in my life accepted me and played a role in letting me know I was cared for. Because of the love and acceptance I had as a child, I developed a good self-image and a positive outlook on life.

Although often alone, I wasn't an unhappy child. We had no TV for entertainment, so when I didn't have my head buried in a book, I lived in a world of imagination creating my own playthings from whatever objects were available. I rode my bike, climbed trees, did puzzles, drew pictures, and made up fantasies in which I played the leading role. I think my love of art, photography, crafts and writing was fostered by the early lack of playmates, which forced me to use my imagination to create my own entertainment.

The year I turned ten, is the year the tornado came, destroying our home and everything in it. Since my mother and I were home, we were sent on a sky ride I'll never forget. I don't remember feeling fear at the time it was happening, because everything happened too fast. For a while afterward, I did become very anxious when storms threatened. Still the fact that I was in a death-defying situation and survived without so much as a bruise reassured me that something bigger than myself controlled my life. Today, I find bad weather more exhilarating than frightening. Maybe this comes from the fact that getting a new house, new clothes and a room of my own was the most exciting thing in my life up to that point.

I was ten the year my grandmother purchased a set of World Book Encyclopedias for me. I was fascinated by everything in those books. and developed a desire to find out about everything. Today, I can spend the entire day on the Internet just researching anything and everything I happen to think of.

On the negative side as an only child, I was very jealous and possessive of my things and the affection of loved ones. I was married at eighteen to a young man from a large family. From observing his relationship with siblings, I began to realize the world didn't revolve around me. Having children of my own and the fact that my husband has never given me a reason to feel jealous helped me to overcome that trait.

Another of my early character flaws was deviousness and passive aggressive behavior, which I developed in order to get my own way. It took work to change this behavior, but now it is only a shameful memory.

As to likes and dislikes, at ten, I wouldn't eat meat, and I hated vegetables. I might have starved if it hadn't been for peanut butter and jelly on white bread. I still eat very little meat, but I haven't met a vegetable I didn't like in years, and I abhor white bread.

Many of my character traits, both positive and negative, were very much in play at age ten. Still, I have changed and hopefully will continue to change in important ways for the rest of my life. I'm still working on changing poor habit patterns and tendencies to procrastinate. I believe some things can be changed and some things should be accepted as they are. The good news is this if the desire to change is strong enough, it's still possible.