When Lisa woke up the next morning, she thought about the day before. Nick's generosity with the car and the driving lessons made her feel guilty. Every time someone came up to her and complimented her, it intensified- and when she tried to concentrate in class, she couldn't.
 
     She was feeling so confused. She knew the reason these doubts had started coming back into her head was because of Alan's card. Why had he put his mobile number on the back of the envelope? He must have realised she'd been trying to phone the number constantly when she'd arrived at the school. If he wanted to talk to her, then why had he turned it off? She wondered if he'd put his number on the envelope to confirm to her that his phone was not only switched on, but he would answer it should she call. None of it made sense. What if there had been another reason for his phone being switched off? It didn't bear thinking about. What she did know for sure was she couldn't go to the Isle of Man the following week to announce her engagement to Nick without knowing the answer.
 
She reached down from her desk and picked both the card and the envelope out of the bin…
 
 
 
Alan looked around his old room at his parents' house, and felt as though he was going out of his mind. When he’d agreed to come home after he was discharged from hospital the week before, it had seemed like a good idea because he was still very weak, and the possibility of him having another epileptic fit meant he couldn't be left alone. But his mother was driving him mad.
 
     Every half an hour or so she would find some excuse to pop her head around the door and check up on him. He heard her familiar footsteps on the landing, and sat up and pretended to be absorbed in a book. If his mother had known he spent all of his time in his room staring into space and thinking about Lisa, she would have been even more worried than she was already. As it was, everyone was concerned about the depression which had engulfed him since he'd regained consciousness, and it hadn't got any better since he'd come home. He had fallen out with Carla the night before when she’d tried to get him to go out for an hour. He didn't want to go anywhere, and just sat in his room, his mobile phone by his bed, waiting for it to ring.
 
     When Alan had sent Lisa the card, he had been full of bitterness. He couldn't get over the fact she had got engaged to Nick again so quickly, while he lay fighting for his life. He still couldn't believe he had once loved such a scheming, devious bitch. Just as her brother had suggested, she needed someone who could keep her in the manner to which she was accustomed, and had given up on him the minute she could.
 
     The worst part of it was that Alan knew she hadn't loved Nick at all. Money had to be her only reason to go back to him, which made her nothing but a scheming whore…
 
 
 
     His mother tapped on the door before coming in. She had brought him a cup of tea, the third that day. Alan tried to look engrossed in his book.
 
     “Do you not want to come downstairs for a while, Alan? It's not good for you lying up here all the time, love. Why don't you come down and sit with me while I'm getting dinner ready?”
 
     Alan looked up from the book, and wished she would leave him alone. If Lisa took the bait and rang his mobile, he didn't want anyone to hear what he was going to say.
 
     “I want to finish this book, mum. I'll come down later.”
 
Kathy looked down at the book and was relieved to see it was open close to the end. She just hoped he didn't start another one. Alan's self-imposed isolation was worrying her and his father to death, so much so, she had phoned his doctor at the hospital seeking advice. He wasn't much help, and suggested she rang him back the following week if the situation didn't improve, and he would recommend some form of counselling to help Alan get over the death of his friend.
 
     “I thought your father and I might pop over and check out your flat after dinner tonight. Do you want to come?” she asked before leaving the room.
 
Alan felt the pain rising up inside him as he remembered his room in the flat where he and Lisa had made love so often. The thought of going there and being reminded of not only her, but also Mike, was unbearable. He doubted he could ever go back there again. He looked up at his mother with tormented eyes.
 
     “It's too soon, mum…” he replied, before pretending to return to his book. 
 

 
    
 
     Lisa started shaking as she dialled the number. Her heart pounded so hard, she thought it would explode in her chest. She felt the sweat on the palm of her hand as she grasped the phone. She had to know.
 
     Alan jumped when his mobile rang, and he picked it up to look at the number display on the screen. It was unlisted, and he was sure it was Lisa. If it was, he felt relieved that he could at last vent his anger upon her. Then, perhaps, he could forget all about her, and stop pretending to read books…
 
     When Lisa heard Alan's voice at the other end of the phone she started to shake again, and felt the tears rising as she remembered how much she had loved him. She struggled to control the emotion in her voice when she spoke at last.
 
     “Hello, Alan? It’s Lisa…”
 
Hearing her voice affected him more than he’d expected. She sounded as though she was crying, and he almost lost his resolve to say what he had to say. But it had to be done.
 
 He cleared his throat and answered her cheerfully.
 
     “Hi, Lisa - how you doing?”
 
The call obviously wasn't affecting Alan as much as it was her. She wiped away the tears and took a deep breath before she replied.
 
     “I'm fine- how about you?”
 
Alan assumed she didn't know about his accident, and he wondered if it would have made any difference if she had.
 
     “Yes, I'm fine - thanks for asking. Congratulations by the way,  it seems like a perfect match. I've been reading all about it in the papers.”
 
Lisa falteringly thanked him, dazed by the cold tone of his voice.
 
     “I was just saying to Carla, I hope you love him, as much as I love her.”
 
He smiled bitterly, hearing the silence at the other end of the phone. Lisa felt the pain engulf her. It was like having an old wound reopened, being reminded that he had chosen Carla instead of her. She had to put her hand over the mouthpiece as she choked back a sob. She reminded herself why she had phoned, and struggled to try and sound normal when she asked him why he had sent the card. Little did she know he had only sent it in the hope she would be curious and call.
 
Alan launched himself into his prepared speech.
 
     “I was concerned that you might have read too much into the time we spent together here before you went to the school. I wanted to explain, in case you'd got the wrong idea. Now that we're both getting married, I just wanted to clear up any loose ends, and wish you all the best.”
 
Lisa felt as though he had slapped her in the face. Alan was telling her that what they’d had in those two short weeks, meant nothing. She couldn't believe he could be so cruel. He must have known how she had tried ringing him for days on end, and the misery he had put her through by turning off his phone. Alan steeled himself, hearing the tears in her voice.
 
     “Did it mean nothing to you, Alan...?” she asked.
 
     “No, I'm sorry, Lisa - it didn't mean anything at all.”
 
Lisa choked back another sob when she heard his answer. She was now past caring if he heard how upset she was.
 
     “Were you lying when you told me you loved me?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
 
Now Alan was beginning to feel the tears smart in his eyes too. It was harder than he thought it would be. He tried to control the emotion in his voice, so he could convince her.
 
     “Come on, Lisa.“ He cajoled. “It was just a bit of fun. You wanted to get laid, and I needed someone to screw until Carla got home. I didn't mean you to take it so seriously...”
 
Lisa felt the room spinning. Surely he couldn't mean what he was saying?
 
     Alan knew he was going to break down at any minute, and Lisa would know that he was lying if he did. He was determined  she didn't know just how much he had loved her. She had broken his heart, and he wanted her to suffer.
 
     “Anyway, that's Carla coming in now, so I’d better go…”
 
He pressed the red button on the phone, cutting her off without even saying good bye. A moment later he started sobbing pitifully into his hands. It was done…
 
 
     Lisa still clutched the phone long after Alan had hung up. She couldn't bear to put it down, unable to believe the finality of his last words. Now she knew how he really felt, and how he had just been using her until his beloved Carla came back, she felt humiliated. How could she have been so naïve? All he had wanted was sex, and she hated him for making her believe it was more. The love she had felt for him turned into a bitter anger, and she dried her tears, determined never to cry over him again. From that moment on, there would only be one man in her life, and that would be Nick...