A mental health day is a sine qua non
If your status quo needs improving upon.
So, brush up your Latinate phrases et cetera
As my alter ego makes you feel so much betterer!

************************

Mater and Pater were gone for the day
Carpe diem I thought, it is my time to play.
I called up my girlfriend; verbatim I cite,
"Don't be in absentia, I need you tonight."

"I've been working ad nauseam, I'm non compos mentis.
Please come and spend time in my loco parentis.
In vino veritas sounds rather wise
Bring wine then for truth; tempus fugit! (time flies!).

Some perfumed oils too may come in rather handy;
Full body massage's my modus operandi.
I promise today you'll be my magnum opus.
Bring honey, bring grapes and some wee pills to dope us.

Well my plan was ad hoc but we soon had a quorum
Our agenda could fill up the next Penthouse Forum.
Attempting to prove that delight's had in tandem
We tried our vice versa, quod erat demonstrandum.

We settled in situ, no-one could disrupt us;
The last thing we wanted coitus interruptus.
Much pleasure per capita, more if pro rata;
Such tricks should be listed as desiderata.

Festina lente, she said, being sneaky.
Too late, I'd already veni, vidi, vici!
"Mea culpa," I cried. "It's my fault, so ergo,
I offer my hand for a quick quid pro quo."

I soon had my mitts on a bona fide squirmer;
Such joy seldom seen while on our terra firma!
Per ardua ad astra, habeas corpus, what a time,
No alias, no alibi, no prima facie crime.

Now that may seem non sequitur, illogical per se;
De facto is, post coitem, I don't know what to say.
Re more events that glorious day, there's just silencium,
From Descartes to vox populi, "Copulo ergo sum!"