Sometimes in life, a wonderful juxtaposition of time and space occurs. Such it was for me recently.

My wife and I were watching the travel channel. A special about the top ten "spring break" locations in the world caught our interest. Not having expanded cable, the show seemed as close to x-rated as we get. Somehow, I don't remember the girls in such a state of dress in my day. It might be more accurate to describe as a state of undress. It was an interesting show, and it was great to see I'd actually been to many of the named destinations.

After the show, I sipped a glass of wine and started thumbing through the alumni newsletter I received from Auburn University. Right in the back, was an article about my college roommate. To protect his guilt, I'll address him by his nick-name, Little Eddie. It seems that Little Eddie started a scholarship program in the amount of $250,000. He was looking for matching funds. Being a long time friend, I decided to match him. In truth, I didn't bother with the three trailing zeros.

This is where the juxtaposition of time began. I started thinking back about how I met Ed and we became roommates.

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We met at the Baptist Student Union on campus in 1968. We were both there on Friday night, shooting pool for ten cents a rack and eating free Baptist food. After we became roommates, I found out Eddie was Jewish. I asked him how come he showed up at a Baptist venue. His response was classic Little Eddie. "Where else can you be entertained all night for next to nothing and get free food?"

At the risk of perpetuating a stereotype of Jewish people, I will freely tell you Little Eddie could have earned a PHD in cheap. Certainly not a problem for me. He and I both shared one thing in common, lack of funds. We both worked part time, used student loans and still experienced hard times scraping money together.

I'll give you an example of cheap. In its early days, Burger King worked for the tag, "Have it your way."  You went through the line, got your burger and bun, and then went to a stand alone condiment stand. You could get your own lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, etc. You truly could, "Have it your way." Anyhow, Eddie asked me if I wanted to go to the brand new Burger King. I looked at him with raised eyebrow as I responded, "I was getting ready to cook us a can of chili in the coffee pot. You know I can't afford to go out and eat." By the way, if you've never dropped a can of chili in a coffee pot of hot water, you've missed an excitement in life. You let the hot water heat the sealed can. Timing's critical. Carefully taking the can out and opening it, you only hope the contents don't explode all over you and the immediate environment. We both were experienced, but our room had tell-tale signs of learning curve problems on the ceiling and walls.

My nick-name in college was Rabbit. I tried to outgrow the name when I graduated from grade school, but on a visit with my grandmother, Eddie heard it, and ressurected it. "Hey Rabbit, neither one of us has any money, but I've got it figured out. We go to the new Burger King and order one of their 'Whoppers,' with two glasses of ice water. They'll cut it in half if we ask. Then, we go to the condiment bar and make ourselves a salad of tomato, lettuce, onion and pickles. We can make a thousand island dressing out of mayonnaise, catsup and pickle relish. Trust me, it will be plenty." We got away with this twice, and on the third visit were asked to not return.

In another situation, Eddie came to our room and told me to get changed. "We've got a double date tonight with the Browning Sisters. One of them, Jane, is in my class. She said she and her sister would love to go on a double date with us."

"Eddie, you know I can't afford to take some girl out. That's why I'm working at the pool this weekend as a life guard."

"Rabbit, you ain't working tonight.  We'll go by the dorm and pick them up."

"Well, that'll be cute. We don't even have a car."

Little Eddie gave me his famous patronizing smile before replying, "We don't need a car. I told them we would pick them up and walk to the ;fine arts film at the student union building. You know it's free. Then we'll go by the University coffee house. They've got a folk singer tonight. The cover charge is minimal, and you can nurse hot coffee for a long time. There's no way that this can cost us more than a couple of bucks."
Eddie's claim to fame as an adult was as a developer. Even in college, he could lay out a great plan. I had to smile. "Little Eddie, it sounds terrific, but I've got to ask. Why in the world would two college girls want to go out on a walking date with us?"

With that silly smile again, Eddie replied, "You've got no faith. These two girls are from Opp, Alabama. Do you think they've been surrounded by culture? The epitome of the social scene there is the annual rattlesnake hunt. They round em' up and cook em'. It's supposed to taste like chicken. Hell, going out with us will be a step up."

How can you argue with logic? At seven pm, we walked by to pick them up. I swear I don't remember Jane's sister's name, though we immediately nick-named her Plain. Somehow, Plain and Jane seemed to fit. The two girls weren't heavy, more like blocky. They were great. It was a blast to talk to them about the annual rattlesnake hunt. I thought Little Eddie was pulling my leg. Apparently people came in from all over the South to participate.
The fine art films was a movie called, 'Freaks'. If you haven't seen it, you need to. I don't want to ruin it for you, but in a nutshell, a carnival barker displays a freak called the Feathered Hen and tells her story. If you use controlled substances, it might help to take a hit before you go. It is awesome. After the movie, the coffee house was as promised. The folk singer was an actual recording artist, the cover charge was low, and you truly can nurse a hot coffee for a long time. We walked the "Plain Jane" sisters back to their dorm. After some light groping and a quick good night kiss, we all agreed to get together again. It was a fun night.

The next week, Little Eddie greeted me coming in to the room. "What are you doing on spring break? You're not going home to Colorado are you?

"Yeah, like I could afford a plane ticket. The student pool is closed, so I'm not working either. I thought I might hitch a ride and go visit my grandmother."

Shaking his head back and forth, Eddie lamented, "You're so lame. If you're going to be here, we may as well go to spring break down in Panama City, Florida. Sheltered as you are, you probably don't know it's the number one spring break destination in the world."

Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, "It's kind of a moot point. I don't have the money to go to Florida."

Eddie gave me the big patronizing smile again. "Don't you know by now? I've got it all figured out. We're going to go with Brush (aka Mike Fuller), Coop (aka Jimmy Cooper) and Cherry (aka Chuck Buster)."

"Well, that'll be a real hoot. Brush's a nerd, Coop's a slob and Cherry's a snob."

Eddie went on. "What you don't know is legion. Brush's mom and dad own a bungalow right off the beach. If we agree to cut the grass and paint the screened-in porch, we stay for nothing. Coop has a car and can drive us down. As a special added bonus, Cherry's dad is a beer distributor, and we're getting twenty cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon for free. All we have to do is give away some beer and merchandising material on the beach. Do I take care of you, or what?"

We arrived in Panama City the first day of spring break. The bungalow wound up being bigger than any house I'd ever lived in. Brush and Coop cut the grass, Cherry pulled weeds out of flower beds, and Little Eddie and I prepped the porch to be painted. We were on the beach a little after lunch. Talk about a kid in a candy store. I don't think I'd ever seen so many good looking girls at one place in my life.

Things really started looking up the next morning. Almost sensing someone standing over my bed, I peered over my sheet. What I saw was a pair of perky breasts barely contained by a bikini top. A beautiful, tanned, blonde girl looked down at me and asked, "Are you Rabbit?"

Uncovering my face and rubbing sleep from my eyes, I replied, "Yes, I am, and you are?"

"Hi, my name is Megan. I live next door. I just met Little Eddie on the beach. I cut my foot pretty bad on a broken sea shell. Eddie told me you were an expert in first aid." I looked down, and sure enough, bloody footprints smudged the tile floor.

"Wow, we better take care of your foot. You're going to need to turn around. I don't have any pajamas on or anything."

She did, but as I got out of bed, she asked, "Do all guys wake up with a boner?"

Embarrassed, I looked at her. She was turned around alright, but looking right at the mirror above the dresser. "If you like, we can take care of my little problem."

She giggled. "I came by for first aid, not show and tell ."

We both laughed. I was impressed already. Not only was this girl beautiful, she had a sense of humor. Given the choice between beauty and a sense of humor, I'm taking humor every time. To me, it's essential. Pulling on swim trunks, I grabbed a first aid kit out of the bathroom. "Why don't you sit on the edge of the bathtub? I'm going to first wash around the cut." I washed her foot with soap and water, carefully dried it, and took a look at the wound. It wasn't bad. I put a bit of anti-bacterial salve on it and covered with a gauze wrapping. I then got one of my clean, white socks and pulled it over her foot. "You'll be fine. Wear this covered all day and you'll be able to take both off tonight when you go to bed."

We sat out on the screened-in porch and drank a cup of coffee. She was easy to talk too. We talked a lot about nothing and then she had to leave. As she left, I invited her to come back that night for the party we were having. She said, "I'd like to. See you tonight."

Later that morning, Little Eddie and I were painting the porch. I looked over at him and commented, "Thanks for sending Megan by. She was terrific. I might be in love. She's like perfect in every way."

With a bemused look, Eddie replied, "She is a cute little thing."

We both looked up as a beautiful blonde in a tennis outfit approached the porch. Smiling, she asked, "Which one of you guys is Rabbit?"

"That would be me."

She reached out for my hand before saying, "My name is Becky Robinson. I live next door. I just wanted to thank you for taking care of my daughter Megan this morning. She said you fixed her up like you were a real doctor. Are you training to be a doc or something?"

Chuckling, I replied, "I'm having an awfully hard time getting through business school. I can't imagine being in pre-med. I'm a certified, Red Cross, Life Guard. First aid is a big part of the training. I hope you don't think I'm rude when I say you look more like Megan's sister than her mom."

Becky did a mock curtsy in her short tennis dress and said, "Thank you sir. I'll take that as a compliment. Megan turns fourteen next week and she's my oldest, so I'm not that old!"

Becky obviously picked up on the red flush on my face. It looks like my romantic hopes were dashed. “Don't be embarrassed, Rabbit. You're not the first person to think her older. By the way, she won't be coming to your party tonight.”

When she left, Little Eddie tried to help. “Hey man, not only is Megan too young, she also comes from big money. It would never work out.”

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I've now come full circle on my trip down memory lane. The television show did in fact list Panama City,FL as the number one spring break destination in the world. How about that? Some things don't change in forty-eight years. I went down flat broke, found a new love, lost a new love, and at the end of the day, had a great time.

Still nursing a glass of wine, I lifted it in mock salute. My wife asked, “What's that all about?”

“Oh nothing, just some memories of long ago.

Inwardly, I thought, Here's to you Little Eddie, and oh yeah, Here's to you Mrs. Robinson.