Lost My Wedding Ring

Grunt, grunt, moan, moan
Where's the darn telephone?

Climb over this, climb over that
Just to find our welcome mat

Company's coming I got to clean
Now it's not a real pretty scene

Picky are the relatives be
Got to make an impressive impression see!

I know, I'll bake a apple pie, coffee to drink
Awe crap my ring just fell in the fricken' sink

Down the garbage disposer, it just fell right in
I could hear it hit bottom what a sin!

I can't reach it my hand is to big
Got to look for the thing a ma jig

Long and slender with claw on the end
It can reach in there and also bend

Search and search and didn't find
I'm going out of my crazy little mind

Husbands coming what do I say
When he say's "Honey how was your day?"

Do I break down and cry?
Or do I say nothing until he asks why?

"Dear what's wrong, why do you look so afraid?"
Oh no, here it comes I'm going to get a failing grade!

I dropped my ring down the disposer and can't get it out
Oh God, here it comes he's going to shout!

"That ring is worth five thousand dollars and it's where,
In the disposer somewhere!"

"I guess we call a plumber to tear it apart...
I know the ring means a lot to you Sweetheart."

"I'm sorry Dear for yelling at you...
Accidents happen and I can see your blue."

"We'll get it back you wait and see...
I'll place it once again on your finger from me."

"I love you Dear and don't you fret...
My love you're guaranteed to always get!"