Doctor, doctor, please come quick
There is something you have to fix
My tummy, look, it's really pesky
Having blown up so grotesquely

You'll probably think it quite bizarre
I drank some potion from a jar
Then hubby inserted a bit of soap
Said 'this'll move it all - I hope'

Doctor, I keep looking at the clock
Time has passed, but not the block
Oh doctor, doctor, please come see
Come do whatever you can for me

Quick, I can't take it any more
I think I'm dying, of that I'm sure
Can you please give me a potion
To set my insides back in motion

What did you say, what can you do
That'll help me pass my stubborn poo
I need to take a pill or two
Then I'll be able to go to the loo

Oh thank you doctor, it's such a relief
For a while I really did believe
That I would die from constipation
Much to my hubby's consternation

Doctor, I'm writing this card today
Because my thanks I wish to convey
I really think you saved my life
And gave my hubby back his wife

I'm grateful for this second chance
I've made a vow, that if per chance
I eat another pineapple so sweet
I'll cut it into pieces before I eat