Dear Lexi:

On March 7, 2009, you became the third generation of women in your family to attend an H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk function. While you won’t remember it, there are pictures of you sitting on the Applebee’s table taking it all in. Some might say I used the occasion as another excuse to take pictures of you. I’d just smile and say, “Who needs an excuse?”

Your mom is secretary of this group. We’ve gave her a little time off to birth you and to provide you a few weeks of her uninterrupted attention. Your Nanny Jan is president and founder. There will be plenty of opportunities for us to discuss all that as you get older.

The Suffolk Applebee’s allowed us to have a Pancake Breakfast to raise funds for those who have been sexually assaulted. Your mom and dad joined us to eat. You came to be seen! For many of our members, it was the first time to meet you in person. Needless to say, you were a hit. Too late, I realized I should have used your being there as a marketing tool to get more people to the breakfast.

This was my third H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk - related event since you turned ten days old. Many have questioned whether I would continue my work with this and connected organizations after you arrived. The question is asked even more frequently now that it’s become public knowledge I’m going to become your full-time sitter on March 17^th.

It is likely I provided the best answer to that question when I spoke to the Whaleyville Ruritan Club on February 2, 2009. It was the first day in your short life I didn’t spend any time with you as my schedule made it clear I would likely be late if I stole a few minutes with you first. Since I was representing H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk and not myself, I had to make the sacrifice. Of course, I took pictures of you to help with the withdrawal pains.

I gave a short testimonial about my childhood, and then shared how H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk came into existence.  I provided examples of how we work with victims of sexual assault and rape by assisting them in regaining a sense of security and hope. I told them how some of our members also volunteered for RESPONSE, a Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline. I explained that two of us served on the Suffolk Crime Line Board. Next, I stated I had recently been named to both Suffolk’s SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) and the Hampton Roads Regional SART. Finally, I added it was my fervent prayer there would come a day there would no longer be a need for the services of a group like ours—but my studies of the history of mankind told me something different.

Questions and answers followed. Most were about the organization; some about how sexual assault crosses all cultures, economic groups, ethnicities, sexes, professions, etc. Then, as it inevitably does, it came:

“Janice, why do you continue to do such intense work and speak out as you do if you believe this problem will never be eradicated—especially when you are retired and have that sweet granddaughter to take up all your time?”

With tears in my eyes, I leaned over and picked up your Baby Brag book full of pictures. On the cover is a close-up of you on the day you were born. I held it up for all to see and said:

“Just as every starfish thrown back into the sea was thankful even though thousands of its friends and families were left behind, I must believe every victim we assist is also grateful. Who is to say the predators we take off the streets might have one day crossed precious little Lexi’s path if I had given up the fight? I am compelled to continue this fight not only for her but for all the “innocents” of the world. Thank you.”

There was not a dry eye in the room, Lexi, as I gently laid your Brag Book down. As I sat down amidst the applause, I was deeply moved by the many men who had tears running down their cheeks.

Lexi, I am proud to tell you your mom and I are convinced Hope indeed Exists After Rape Trauma. Most importantly we work hard to prevent it so no one has to find out for themselves.

Love you forever and ever,

Nanny Jan