| Satire Fiction posted November 24, 2008 |
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God comes to ZeeZee's house for an interview.
God Grants ZeeZee an Interview.
by zeezeewriter
Art work by sheban_windstorn/DiviantArt
Welcome, God … come in … have a seat.
I’d prefer to hover, if you don’t mind.
Hey, now that’s funny. I like a God with a sense of humor. Do you mind if I record this interview?
Why not? It’s not like anyone will believe you.
Interview with God, November 24, 2008. Ok, let’s get started.
How long have you been God?
Always.
You mean, since the beginning of time?
There is no such thing as time. Time is infinite.
Yeah, try buying week-old bananas ... that’s a joke, God.
I know; I just didn’t think it was very funny.
Ahem … ok ... moving right along.
So, tell me something. Which religion is the true religion: Christianity, Buddhism, Hebrew, Muslim, etc.
None.
Really?
Really.
Why do you allow them to use your name, if they’re not your true representative?
Why not?
Many people have been killed in the name of religion. Doesn’t that bother you?
Why should it? Man was born to die.
What about life after death?
There is no life after death, as you know it. Humans imagine life after death as a conscious state, in order for their ego to survive.
Ego! What do you mean by that?
If I told you that when you die, you will become pure energy, without knowledge of the past, without memory of the person you are now, how would that make you feel?
Hey, I’m asking the questions here.
Oh, sorry.
Is there such a thing as Heaven and Hell?
No.
I find that hard to believe.
I know.
What’s the point of living a good life, if there’s no reward in Heaven?
I'll let you answer that.
Ok ... what is the meaning of life?
There is no meaning of life. If you want your life to have meaning, then make it meaningful. Your life is yours; do with as you will.
If there is no such thing as religion, how will I worship you?
I do not care if you worship me. Do as you wish.
Without religion, who will teach us commandments to live by, rules to get into heaven?
Ok … once more; there is no Heaven or Hell. There is only energy. When the energy leaves your body, you will exist forever, but without an ego. Everything on this planet eventually becomes energy.
Even the bad people?
Everyone.
That’s not fair.
What’s not fair?
That bad people get to become energy, too.
I don’t make the rules.
Who does?
No one does.
I can’t live like this; I need something, a religion … something!
Suit yourself.
You don’t understand! I will despair without something to believe in. I need to believe in life after death.
Whatever.
If I have nothing to believe in … I … I won’t believe in you.
Your point would be?
When people stop believing in you … then you’ll care!
I am God. I have no ego. I cannot care.
Welcome, God … come in … have a seat.
I’d prefer to hover, if you don’t mind.
Hey, now that’s funny. I like a God with a sense of humor. Do you mind if I record this interview?
Why not? It’s not like anyone will believe you.
Interview with God, November 24, 2008. Ok, let’s get started.
How long have you been God?
Always.
You mean, since the beginning of time?
There is no such thing as time. Time is infinite.
Yeah, try buying week-old bananas ... that’s a joke, God.
I know; I just didn’t think it was very funny.
Ahem … ok ... moving right along.
So, tell me something. Which religion is the true religion: Christianity, Buddhism, Hebrew, Muslim, etc.
None.
Really?
Really.
Why do you allow them to use your name, if they’re not your true representative?
Why not?
Many people have been killed in the name of religion. Doesn’t that bother you?
Why should it? Man was born to die.
What about life after death?
There is no life after death, as you know it. Humans imagine life after death as a conscious state, in order for their ego to survive.
Ego! What do you mean by that?
If I told you that when you die, you will become pure energy, without knowledge of the past, without memory of the person you are now, how would that make you feel?
Hey, I’m asking the questions here.
Oh, sorry.
Is there such a thing as Heaven and Hell?
No.
I find that hard to believe.
I know.
What’s the point of living a good life, if there’s no reward in Heaven?
I'll let you answer that.
Ok ... what is the meaning of life?
There is no meaning of life. If you want your life to have meaning, then make it meaningful. Your life is yours; do with as you will.
If there is no such thing as religion, how will I worship you?
I do not care if you worship me. Do as you wish.
Without religion, who will teach us commandments to live by, rules to get into heaven?
Ok … once more; there is no Heaven or Hell. There is only energy. When the energy leaves your body, you will exist forever, but without an ego. Everything on this planet eventually becomes energy.
Even the bad people?
Everyone.
That’s not fair.
What’s not fair?
That bad people get to become energy, too.
I don’t make the rules.
Who does?
No one does.
I can’t live like this; I need something, a religion … something!
Suit yourself.
You don’t understand! I will despair without something to believe in. I need to believe in life after death.
Whatever.
If I have nothing to believe in … I … I won’t believe in you.
Your point would be?
When people stop believing in you … then you’ll care!
I am God. I have no ego. I cannot care.
I’d prefer to hover, if you don’t mind.
Hey, now that’s funny. I like a God with a sense of humor. Do you mind if I record this interview?
Why not? It’s not like anyone will believe you.
Interview with God, November 24, 2008. Ok, let’s get started.
How long have you been God?
Always.
You mean, since the beginning of time?
There is no such thing as time. Time is infinite.
Yeah, try buying week-old bananas ... that’s a joke, God.
I know; I just didn’t think it was very funny.
Ahem … ok ... moving right along.
So, tell me something. Which religion is the true religion: Christianity, Buddhism, Hebrew, Muslim, etc.
None.
Really?
Really.
Why do you allow them to use your name, if they’re not your true representative?
Why not?
Many people have been killed in the name of religion. Doesn’t that bother you?
Why should it? Man was born to die.
What about life after death?
There is no life after death, as you know it. Humans imagine life after death as a conscious state, in order for their ego to survive.
Ego! What do you mean by that?
If I told you that when you die, you will become pure energy, without knowledge of the past, without memory of the person you are now, how would that make you feel?
Hey, I’m asking the questions here.
Oh, sorry.
Is there such a thing as Heaven and Hell?
No.
I find that hard to believe.
I know.
What’s the point of living a good life, if there’s no reward in Heaven?
I'll let you answer that.
Ok ... what is the meaning of life?
There is no meaning of life. If you want your life to have meaning, then make it meaningful. Your life is yours; do with as you will.
If there is no such thing as religion, how will I worship you?
I do not care if you worship me. Do as you wish.
Without religion, who will teach us commandments to live by, rules to get into heaven?
Ok … once more; there is no Heaven or Hell. There is only energy. When the energy leaves your body, you will exist forever, but without an ego. Everything on this planet eventually becomes energy.
Even the bad people?
Everyone.
That’s not fair.
What’s not fair?
That bad people get to become energy, too.
I don’t make the rules.
Who does?
No one does.
I can’t live like this; I need something, a religion … something!
Suit yourself.
You don’t understand! I will despair without something to believe in. I need to believe in life after death.
Whatever.
If I have nothing to believe in … I … I won’t believe in you.
Your point would be?
When people stop believing in you … then you’ll care!
I am God. I have no ego. I cannot care.
 Recognized |
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I am not sure I want to interview God. He would want top billing, except I am the one with the ego.. so maybe it would work out. This is a contest entry.. so please leave comments on my writing ability, delivery, spaggies, style etc... and not the subject content.
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