|Western Poetry posted July 3, 2008|
Written in American frontier speech and style
Marvin the Maverick
by G.B. Smith
For the cowboy in us all
It was supposed to be easy, but out west in the early days of 1900,
it was attainable. There came a wrangler named Marvin,
and nobody could tame him.
Now Marvin was a different kind of feller.
He was short and stout, but you could never say he was yeller.
He stood five foot four inches in his all together.
His head was too small, and his feet was too big.
He ate like a cannibal and burped like a pig.
His head sat on his shoulders minus the neck for all intent and purposes,
He was nothing but head and shoulders wearing a hat that was just too dang big.
Strapped to his sides were matching Colt 45's, and there was a Bowie knife hidden up his leg, and his hair looked like a bee hive.
His mustache was something out of the OK Corral.
He only had his horse and never a gal.
Everyone made fun of him because he was a cowpoke first and foremost.
He always was willing to ride night herd never leaving his post
until the night that he was confronted by Custer's ghost.
Now he was a brave little feller, braver than most, but galdang
when he met Custer he got scared and left his post.
Now he came riding in as hard as he could straight through the camp,
fell off his horse, and scattered all the cook's wood.
"Give me a drink!" He hollered in fright.
What I got ta tell ya is mighty scary and not very good.
Out yonder there bigger than life rides the ghost of old yellow hair.
Now if that ain't enough his companion beside him was none other than Chief Running Bear.
I spit tobaccie right in his eye. Dang if it didn't miss and drift off in the air.
Now Custer's eyes was shooting red devil flames.
He said they came fer me because the cooking in Hell was rotten and bad.
Lucifer, himself, said that I was the best cook this outfit has ever had.
They came to fetch me tonight he said with a grin. I always wanted to cook in hell's kitchen.
Just then the night lit up bright as day. There came two angels; here's what they had to say.
"Marvin, your cooking was meant for all mankind. Fetch up some vittles. We'll sit a spell and all unwind."
Hells fury was unleashed in a giant clap of thunder. It came far from the ground; some say from clear down under.
Now Satan, his self, stood in our midst. He made no bones about me being his.
A light from up above shown down in harmony and love, and with that Satan went flying, as if given a Heavenly shove.
Marvin the Maverick still cooks today. You can find him on the prairie cooking the same old way.
This Sentence Starts The Story contest entry
Marvin was a different kind of feller. Don't go getten crazy over the spelling. It is correct by Cowboy standardsPays one point and 2 member cents.
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