We met 30 some odd years ago;I recall it well

You sat with your little girl, and I with my two girls

As we worshipped in the hall, I slipped you a note

Thought maybe we could have a play date with the little ones

That first meeting set off the beginning of a long friendship

I danced old dances in your livingroom as the music played

and you laughed so hard.

 

You said that I was the only female that you would ever let

into your life, because other women caused you too much strife

You said that I was fun, and unassuming, naive, and girlie

I recall the times that you and I ate ice cream out with our girls

 

Twenty years passed and the girls grew up.  You divorced and remarried

four times. I divorced once and never repeated that mistake again.

You were my voice, my listening ear as I struggled through so many emotions

I, too, have been there through each one of your failed marriages.

 

I quickly noticed an imbalance in our relationship

Where I am accepting of your flaws, you seem to speak openly of mine

I also note that to remain your friend, I must follow your rules

Although, I set no rules for you at all because I believe that frienship should be organic

 

One such rule is to be your friend by telephone only. Zoom is out of the question.

When you are dating someone I must accept that you are too busy to deal with me.

Ten years or more lapse by, and although we talk daily, your face I rarely see.

When we have gotten together, more rules apply.  Be on time, explain what I am wearing beforehand

so that my wardrobe does not outshine yours, no pictures, and come alone. 

I don't question you; I simply comply.

 

 

Then there was that Friday, many years ago, that you called to ask if you could stop by for a day

I was so excited that I didn't think.  I said, yes, although I wasn't prepared for your visit.

It was clean my house and do chores Friday, but I was so delighted that I was going to see my

old friend that I attempted to do it all before your arrival.

 

I left my daughter at the house to clean, while I shopped for groceries in preparation of your visit.

I raced here and there, in hopes of getting back home in time, but you beat me by 5 minutes.

Little did I know, that a few months later, I would receive a phone call at six am with you on the other end

screaming to the top of your lungs about my keeping you waiting for 5 minutes.  You mentioned that my 

home was not clean, and that I didn't have a microwave oven that worked.  You ended the frienship and 

demanded that I never call, and don't write.  You even said, "don't even bother to send me no card either."

 

I remember walking to work in a daze, crying my eyes out, at having been cursed out by my best friend

Before that day, we had never even had an argument.  On that morning, you said so many cruel things to me. 

Things about my character, and how I broke so many of your rules.  As I attempted to defend myself, you shut

that down, yelling that when a person is wrong, they just need to admit it.  As if you were not, in some way, wrong

to inconvenience me with your sporadic visit- something I would never be allowed to do.

 

We didn't speak for two years.  Until one day you called begging to rekindle our relationship after your 2nd 

husband passed.  You apologized for all that you said, and you promised NEVER to repeat any of that foolishness 

to me again.  I foolishly allowed you to squeeze your way back into my life.

 

Here we are, 20 years later, and that conversation about my being 5 minutes late to my own home in an effort to 

accommodate your unplanned visit has been brought to my attention three times this year.  Only now, you 

are adding layers to that conversation.  Stating that my "good intentions were irrelavent,"  and now you complain

of being left in the livingroom to listen to me in the kitchen unpacking bags.  The rattling of the bags, you state, bothered you.

You even claim that I am late everywhere I go, as if you would know.  When, in fact, that is the complete opposite of who

I am.  I hate being late and I am usually on time, and very apologetic the few times that I am late, but how would you know that

if you RARELY spend any time with me?

 

Today, I am left feeling like a damn fool, as I think of all of the insulting statements that you have made to me in our

last conversation. You seem to believe that because you are not yelling, that you're not being unkind.  You are sadly 

mistaken. I have come to an epiphany that this rediculous relationship is not worth it.  Being freinds with you is something

like being freinds with 'Ainsworth' on Charlie's Angels - the voice on the phone who spits out regulations, rules, and demands.

 

I promised myself that I would not allow you to bully me again about this ridiculous topic the second time that you brought it up.  That I would shut it down, the next time. But our last conversation was the third time, and the last time.  This friendship has always been one-sided, and I am ready to shut IT down.  I promise you that I will not drag you into 2024 with me.  This is the END of the line.  

 

Have a good life without me!!!