Cheezel gets an Invitation

by kiwisteveh

Now, Cheezel the Weasel, most everyone knows
Is a rascally fellow with tufty-tipped toes
Who lives in a tugboat down in the south-west
With Bartle the Badger, his lodger and guest.

One day as our hero reclined at his leisure
In a hammock he'd stretched on the deck for his pleasure,
He heard a loud holler, "Ahoy there, The Kipper!"
'Twas Sammy the sealion waving a flipper.

"Oi, Cheezel!" he bellowed, his voice kind of quivery,
"I 'ave 'ere a letter marked Special Delivery.
Addressed to you personal, copperplate script-
Could it be from 'Er Majesty?" Sammy then quipped.

So Cheezel and Sammy and Bartle as well
Gathered round to examine this missive so swell.
'Twas true that the lett'ring was wonderfully shaped,
The envelope sparkled, the edges were taped.

On the back lay a logo would make your heart shudder;
"Avast there, me maties, belay the port rudder!"
Cried Cheezel the Weasel, his voice all dramatical.
"If I'm not mistaken, here's business piratical."

"The skull and the crossbones. Oh, Blackbeard's pyjamas!
I've not seen the like since I cruised the Bahamas.
Come Bartle, my friend -" here he let out a whistle -
"Let's open this up and peruse the epistle."

From somewhere below decks a cutlass was found;
Cheezel gave a wild cry as he whirled it around;
"Oh, hold very still now, come closer, that's nice."
And he aimed at the letter a razor sharp slice.

The envelope opened; from inside there fluttered
A map and a parchment. "Let's see," Cheezel muttered.
"Oh, Bartle, I wonder if you'd be so kind,
For I don't have my glasses; without them I'm blind."

So Bartle the Wise, a most wizardly scholar,
Adjusted his waistband and straightened his collar.
Ignoring the seagulls that screeched overhead,
He harrumphed grandiosely, then solemnly read:

"My Dear Cap'n Cheezel, The Scourge of the Seas,
You are hereby invited, if so it should please,
To a function in Blackpool - perhaps I should mention
That this is the very first Pirates' Convention.

Both Kittyhawk Katie and Sylvester Stoat
Will be giving great lectures on Fighting Afloat,
There's financial advice from The Old Brigands' Bank
And a charity fund-raiser, 'Walking the Plank.'

Then workshops and shipworks and sword fighting too
And a galley of goodies like Rabbit Ragout.
More freebooting fun than a fracas at sea;
Your place is reserved, so just RSVP."

(to be continued)

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