My first love's name was Kelly,
She was bouncy like good jelly,
But alas I let her slip right through my fingers.
Then I dated Maryann
With a whiff of marzipan.
Still the sweetness of her fragrance gently lingers.

For a while I stayed with Betty,
Quite al dente like spaghetti.
Thin and tall she liked to hang around in groups.
Then I hung around with Toni
Cos she smelled like rigatoni
And we shared our love for sauces, stews and soups.

How I dearly loved Louise
And her macaroni cheese;
Mild or extra tasty didn't matter.
I fell hard for Margarita,
Spicy like a good fajita
If I'd stayed I would be even fatter.

With my island flame, Moana,
I would split a ripe banana
As we lay beneath the sun on golden sands.
Oh my darling, lovely Lily
Helped me dine on red hot chili
Which she'd feed to me from out her loving hands.

All those sweets and snacks and batters,
Now my love life lies in tatters;
I am lonely, lost and empty as can be.
Wait a moment, there's Tamara
With her love for carbonara
Now my appetite is back as you can see.