Cheezel the Weasel had sniffles and sneezles
From his whiskery nose right down to his kneesles.
His head was all ache-y, his throat red and raw
And a blotchy red rash decorated one paw.
Uncharacteristically, Cheezel was grumpy;
His pillow felt bumpy, his mattress was lumpy.

"By node id blogged ub," Cheezel mumbled and muttered.
"I doan lige bein' sig," Cheezel spittled and sputtered.
"I'm a weasel of action, I'm brave and I'm bold,
And I cannot be quashed by a quite common cold.
By my tungsten-tipped teeth, by the tufts on my toes,
There must be a remedy somebody knows."

Now his lodger named Bartle the Badger, a wizard,
Suggested raw worms and a poached turkey gizzard,
While Millicent Mole in her velveteen coat,
Claimed crushed up crustaceans would soothe his sore throat.
A pharmacist friend known as Vinnie the Vole
Advised him discreetly, "Try toad in the hole."

Slugs mashed in toothpaste or bugs brewed in brine
Bat droppings sieved through a blackberry vine
Each colleague he questioned, each chum that he knew
Claimed his was the perfect concoction or brew.
And Cheezel grew pale as he heard their prescriptions;
They gave him convulsions, they gave him conniptions

"This swill I can't swallow," whispered he, with a wheeze
"If the cures are this horrid, why I'll choose the disease.
"Oh, how could it be I didn't see it before?
The solution's right there in old weaselly lore.
Great Granny Myfanwy of the Welsh fam'ly line
In weasel years lived to one hundred and nine.

She wrote down her recipes, pies, pills and potions,
Nocturnal necessities, liniments, lotions
Such weaseldom wisdom can barely be credited
As Great Granny's Almanac, proof-read and edited
Right there on the book-case at page ninety-two
Is the best way of banishing coughs, colds and flu:

'A rabbit for breakfast (try pan-fried or toasted)
A rabbit for dinner, with leeks gently roasted.
And right before bedtime, your health you'll recoup
By imbibing a big bowl of rich rabbit soup.'
"At last," cried our hero, no longer unsteady,
"Advice I can take - I feel better already!"