If there's one thing that makes me mad,
It's losing stuff that I just had.
Searches end in pure frustration,
Anger, snarls and indignation.

Where's my keyring?
Where's my wallet?
I hope nobody
Went and stole it!

Now picture kindly, if you will,
I'm late for work, I'll make it still.
My glasses simply can't be found;
I've just this moment put them down.

Where's that sock?
Oh, where's the cat?
How could she disappear
Like that?

Important meeting's starting now,
I'm on my way, but, "Holy cow!"
My presentation's gone and vanished;
To the mail-room I'll be banished.

Where's my watch?
And where's my pen?
The imps have hidden
Them again.

My taxi's waiting on the street.
I'm packed to go, all nice and neat.
I put my passport over there...
Completely gone! It drives me spare!

Where's my hairpiece?
Where my teeth?
Now what could they
Have got beneath?

My time is up; I'll meet the Lord;
A decent funeral I'll afford.
I don't know what they'll take me off in -
I've only gone and lost my coffin!