If there's one thing that riles me, it's
Technology that's on the fritz.
It seems when I was just a lad
Things weren't remotely half as bad.

Today with tales I can regale ya
Of 'File Not Found' and hard disk failure.
In yesteryear I never read
These words that prove my laptop's dead.

My camera batteries never died;
My cellphone SIM-card was not fried;
The GPS never let us down
By steering to some other town.

Had no problems with my printer;
Never worried what went inta'
Fax machine or USBs
Didn't scratch my DVDs

Never lost a *bleep* remote
Or failed to save a book I wrote.
My day was never, ever scarred
By ATMs that ate my card

How can it be in days gone by
These gizmos didn't make us sigh?
The answer's simple, you can bet;
They hadn't been invented yet!