Pack Mule for Sale




"Were you the fly on the wall? What did you hear?" Jethro asked in an amused voice.

"Well, Jethro, my hearing is just not as good as it was when I was a young maggot. I swear I heard those two old humans say they were looking to buy a pack mule." Homer was quick to reply.

Jethro chuckled and slapped his right knee. "A pack mule? What in God's green earth would two old broads want with a pack mule in the middle of Montana?"

"Well, I don't know........I'm not human." Homer replied with a tad irritation in his squeaky voice.

"Whoa, wait a minute." Who's that!" Homer exclaimed.

"Excuse me fellows , I was just passing by on my way home and noticed you Mr. Buzzard and Mr. Fly sitting on this old fence post . I thought I overheard you mention something about a Pack Mule? Oh, my, where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. My name is Jo, and yours?"

"Well, I'm called Jethro Buzzard and this here little snapper is Homer Fly." Jethro said grinning from beak to beak.

"Glad to meet both of you." Jo said extending her hand to both of them at the same time.

"Yes, we were just discussing Homer's recent trip to Montana. For a small fly he seems to be real lucky catching those 747 Airplane flights." Jethro added.

"Yes, mam...I do like visiting my cousins in Montana". Homer replied.

Jo, flopped herself down on a log and began her tale. "I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation. The words Pack Mule brought back memories and I just had to stop and chat a while. I was recently in Montana and I thought instantly that you might be talking about me."

"You see we were traveling and as always I like taking the scenic route. You know according to my sweet Richard that's 'short for narrow and curvy with no towns and a much longer route'. Well, fellows I'm here to tell you my sweet husband and I got into a little tiff over the speed he was driving. Lordy, we just never fight, you know. But, this time I just had to say something about his driving. Everywhere on this absolutely lovely country road were thousands of little ground squirrels scampering about. Many had already met their Maker on that lonely blacktop road. I just couldn't bear to have our vehicle be one to add to the total. So, of course I sweetly asked my dear husband to SLOW down! My husband had a different opinion and just wanted to hurry and get to the next town."
My dear husband made the comment "you just wanted me to come along on this vacation to be you and your Mother's PACK MULE!" "I have carried your luggage in and out for the LAST time, when we get to the next town I'm catching a plane home!"

"Well, that did it; he got the silent treatment for the rest of the way. We got to the next town and what a beautiful little Montana town. However, no airport was in site. In fact, only one small caf© located just off the main street at the edge of town. It was definitely time to stop and re-charge our batteries and cool down. Coffee and breakfast that is what we needed." Jo said still sitting on the log.

"Have you ever been traveling and stopped off in a small town local eatery? I love those places. You know the ones with at least three calendars hanging about on the walls. I'm not sure where I read this but what I hear is if you want to eat in a good place you should always look for calendars on the wall. Of course, the more the calendars the better the home-cooked food, I am told. Sometimes the place is a little shabby and often you'll find business cards from the local merchants somewhere in sight but the smells from the kitchen are so delightful and the food delicious. Old-timers gather at these places, usually old men. They'll sit for hours drinking their coffee discussing everything from the weather to Harvey's new calf." Said Jo still sitting on the log.

"Oh my, it seems I got side tracked. Now where was I? Oh yes..., we got to the caf© and it was definitely a four calendar place. Calendars everywhere and the smells from the kitchen were enticing. Four old-timers sat in the corner drinking their morning coffee. We waited for a very long time in silence, still stewing from the little tiff..., waiting for the waitress to serve us some coffee. Finally my mother, the other "old broad", broke the ice and asked the little young waitress if we could have some coffee. Well, fellows I will never forget her sweet reply."

"Sorry, folks but you'll have to wait for one of our regulars to leave so we can wash a cup for you." The little waitress said.

"What??? Yikes!!! There were only the four old men in the corner. We sat and waited, more silence, and then my Mom reading from the local nickel paper broke the silence."

"Pack Mule for Sale." My mom read slowly. That did it; we broke into a huge laugh. The old-timers must have thought those "city slickers have lost their minds."

"So, Jethro and Homer that's what happened. Now please tell me how that story got all the way to Texas?"

"Well, Miss Jo, I think you must have been visiting my cousin Jake's Caf©. You are one of those old broads that I overheard that day..., ugh, I mean nice ladies." Homer grinned meekly.

"That explains everything, Homer; those women didn't want to BUY a pack mule. They already had one." Jethro laughed.