(Continued from previous chapter due to posting problem with site)

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I also figured that what was good for the goose was also good for the gander and it got the best of me.  On my Grandmother's death bed, I asked if she would forgive my father; she angrily replied that she not only wouldn't and once again condemned him to hell.

It was Dad's turn, "Dad, do you forgive Grandma?"

He sort of gasped, then chuckled and replied, "No Mike, I won't because I was never mad at her in the first place.  You know I tried to help her, but she'd have it no other way then her's."
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Somewhere in there Rita either called or visited Dad and as soon as I walked in, Cindy warned me, "Dad's pissed as shit because Rita bothered him."

I immediately went upstairs and my father let me have it, he was boiling over angry and also crying, "God damn it, there's a reason that I don't want Rita and her children over here; I want to die in peace! But that fucking bitch doesn't want that! She doesn't have the most basic of respect, she can't even follow the most simplest of directions. No wonder your life is so much hell."

"Look Dad. I know you're upset about it, but she wants to be part of the family, she didn't have any bad intentions."

"Well the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and you don't know how much hell you're going to have to walk through, because of what she is going to do to you. I do!"

"Well, since you're in the know, why don't you tell me what you know and how?"

"All I can tell you is that I know... You get it across to your fucking wife, if I find her in my house, I will shoot her dead! I already have a death sentence on myself, and it will even save the state a lot of money."

I think he told her himself, because when I went home and checked on Rita and the kids, I got an ear full! Not to mention the hysterics and crying. She told me she didn't have any bad intentions, and then preceded yell at me for Dad's.

I blew up, "God damn it! I told you not to bother him and you just didn't want to listen. Jesus Christ, I wasn't welcome with your side of the family and at least I respected it. Shit, it just wasn't worth with getting upset over it ..."

"Dad's right; you don't even have the basic understanding or respect to stay out of things when you should. I am tired of getting it up the ass from the both of you. Dad's in control of things, I'm not Rita. You know what, if you're angry at him; you go over there, and stop taking it out on me."

"He'll probably shoot me. Anyway, I know you're over there to help him, but you have a family over here to take care of as well."

"I have too many obligations on me right now and no one seems to feel obligated over me." Further making that point, I was out of the door and off to work.

Apparently, I was asked to stop by work, Michael the pressroom boss told me  I was needed back as they had a lot of work. Dennis heard that and pulled me aside, "Look, Mike. I know you're taking care of your Dad, but he could live a few more months."

"Dennis, he has pancreatic cancer and it's any day now, really."

"Well you have an obligation with us as well, and I think you should come back Monday." I agreed, as I wanted to be a good Joe, but I was a bit worn down from fighting things; though I thought I should remain off of work to be with Dad, I decided to go back to work Monday.

Not only did I have that very strong sense of death lurking about, so to speak the wagon man seemed to be making periodic visits in front of the house. Monday morning I was woken up with the sound of muffled footprints on the carpeting.

 "Cindy do you hear that?"

"What, the footsteps walking all around us?"

"Yes."

"What do you think we can do about them."

"Nothing! Fuck it, I'm going back to sleep." Strange as it was, I started to find those footsteps walking about, somewhat comforting.

I went in Monday at 4:00pm and worked through the night and left to go home before I went to Dad's. I immediately walked through the door and Rita said, "Do you know your father's dead! Cindy called up here and is upset." I immediately left and went to Dad's and Cindy was sitting on the side wall of the front porch, quietly sobbing.

She told me I should have taken off and it was obvious that she resented having to find him there by herself. I told her that I wanted to see him and she said, "I called the funeral home, so they're on their way. You can go up and see him; he died sitting in his fucking chair." Then she chuckled a bit.

I replied, "It figures." I chuckled as well.

I walked up and there he was, sitting in his chair, "Well Dad, you had to go out the way you wanted to." He had obviously expired as the blood settling marks were showing up in his legs. When the Hearst arrived, they allowed us to help them. They put the bag on the bedroom floor and I got behind and knew what the mortuary initiation was, from a former scoutmaster that now worked in the funerary business.

I reached up under his arms and expelled the air from his lungs and asked if Dad was still alive. Cindy jumped and everyone showed me their disapproval. We lifted him from the chair and placed him in the bag, straightened him out and Cindy commented to them about the wonderful scent that filled the room.

The funeral home had no idea what she was talking about, but the floral scent was definitely in the room and they viewed the question strangely saying they don't use scents. We made a trip to the funeral home to finalize the details, then to the insurance agent to secure the rider to pay it to the funeral home. Cindy brought up the question, "What do we do with Rita and the kids?"

"Look, Rita is still my wife and I want her there. I don't think it matters to Dad anymore." Wayne must of seen the notice and Eric asked and it was let known they weren't welcome.

Next, I was hot under the collar and off to work. I hit those doors, spotted Dennis and yelled at the top of my lungs, "Hey Dennis, my dad didn't want to get in the way of me working for you so he decided to die this morning! Instead of spending the last day with him, I'm taking off three to be with his body! Thanks a lot!" I then went upstairs to make the arrangements with Donald. I thought it was best to leave from there because I would be hankering to start a fist fight down below.

My only concern was, this was a close person for Jimmy to view and gave him the option of not going, but he elected to come. I let it be known to him that with the viewing, there isn't right or wrong, so if he doesn't want to do anything, he doesn't have too. It was pretty much the same for Katie.

A wide range of people came to visit, including friends and family, a couple of neighbors, and old school friends. Also some people that worked with Dad and plenty from both churches. We notified many people and Bill Sheppard, the person that was the first Republican to come close to winning the Governor's race.  While he sent his sympathies, and gave notice that he is out of Maryland and couldn't attend.

Dad already alerted us about Governor Ehrlich, "The legislature is in session so don't expect him to come. He's in Annapolis where his ass should be." But to our surprise, Ellen Sauerbrey, another rebulican who almost won the governorship in a prior election, showed up to pay her respects.  She also relayed Governor Ehrlich's condolence's and apology as he's was stuck in Annapolis trying a last ditch effort to get his slots bill to pass.  We didn't expect this as Ellen Sauerbrey was working for an appointed post at the United Nations.

I did see a bit of humor as he passed on April 1st, 2003 and it was now April 2nd, my birthday. Before the later viewing opened, I couldn't help but whisper something to him he told me many times, "You should have tried harder."

It was a nice day for the internment ceremony and since he was a veteran, he had a flag draped over his coffin; but we were told that since he wasn't in combat, chances were we would have a recording instead of a bugler for Taps. I noted that there was a female Navy personal member and Dad would have something to say over that, but the recording made no difference. It still brought tears to people's eyes and it was hard to look into the color guard's eyes when we accepted the flag and tried not cry.

As an extra bonus, we opted to have a Navy footstone added, with the understanding not to expect its arrival any time soon. I opted for that as much for tribute to the Navy, since his serving in Antarctica meant so much to him.

From there it was nuts and bolts time. His pension was transferred over to me as the state of Maryland only allowed one beneficiary, and I had to distribute it with my sister. Surprisingly we got the shock of our lives when the funeral home sent us a check of what they didn't use.

A disappointment for my sister and I was with his IRA which was at an all time low value. We wanted to continue it until it increased in value as Dad told us to do, but the IRA company made us take the distribution, with the option of starting our own accounts. That wasn't possible because we would not only had to pay income taxes on his behalf; I knew it was needed to cover his credit card debt.

Those taxes were paid right off of the bat. Most people's advice was not to report his death to the credit card companies, but his attorney who was handling the estate advised us we had to report it because it was not only proper, Dad never seemed to get away with anything in the first place. He looked at the estate and point blank told us that it really isn't much in it so just pay him what he personally asks us to pay. That would be the court fees, the add placement announcing his death and the estate, and the cost of the documents creation.

I could never figure out why Dad had to put so much on the credit cards and was amazed to actually read the statements and find that he tithed three ways; first to the church of course, but he also tithed to support the organizations and causes he believed in, and also politics. In regards to politics, it just pissed me off more because so often, it seemed to me they just took his money. The best it ever got him was a little respect and a dismissive ear.

Needless to say it made remembrance of a supported Republican politician calling my father, "Trouble," and me, "The Son of Trouble," a total affront to me. While Dad laughed it off as a joke, I saw in it the attitude and reasons that Republicans do so bad in Maryland and made the decision that before I place any financial support behind a politician, I will seek them out first and there will be a dialog. So far, that has never happened as they don't seem obligated or willing to do so.

After the Dad's IRA covered our generated taxes and his credit card debt, there was only a few thousand dollars each for my sister who desperately needed it for the legal bills of her divorce, and myself to use bring the bills current. At this time, Cousin Emily had gone though Uncle Victors house, which was a disaster and found an insurance policy, which she not only cashed out, she distributed it the family including my sister and myself.

The only problem we encountered was with Dad's guns. Cindy tacked on a gun that Wayne had given her, which I advised her to not to do and it turned up as BATF stolen 1 of 22 and now put us in hot water and upsettingly cast Dad in a bad light. Cindy came clean, and told the truth and was verbally admonished by the detectives and while they went after Wayne, he managed to talk his way out of it, so as with most real gun crime in Maryland, they dropped the ball.

Last was Dad's house, and I insisted on a settlement with Cindy as soon as possible to avoid a repeat of what had occurred with my Grandmother's house. The problem was Wayne was not only fighting tooth and nail, he was refusing to leave Cindy's house.

I still had my massive credit card debt and kept them apprised at first, but they didn't like the delay and harassed me by calling all of the time. What pissed me off was the flippant response of, "Well we are aware of your situation, but we are calling you because we can!"

Cindy selling her house was an inch worm process, she had to evict Wayne and he refused to leave until it was almost a contempt of court affair. Then she went in and found the place ruined, as he took out the projects he did, even though he made her foot the bill. Some of his work was shoddy, which caused water damage, not to mention him kicking in walls. Worthington Valley is expensive prime real estate and by the time she found a buyer, who paid a greatly reduced price. She only came out with $6,000 while she should have made a small fortune; but the finance company confiscated the proceeds because the sale violated the minimum amount of time she had to hold on to the property.

Next she had to secure a loan for Dad's property, which was no easy feat due to all of the problems. To me she tried to be a sweetheart and what she offered to settled seemed to high to me, so I gave her a bit of breathing room because I knew she needed it. While Dad kept the house up well, I had a feeling there were problems with it, not to mention she needed a break because of the divorce.

Once settled, I was able to pay off and cancel my credit card. Amazingly I found the card company hadn't cancelled it; it now had a positive $500.00 balance because I, "overpaid." I immediately called them up and not only made sure they cancelled it, but sent me the check to confirm it. It was nice to have a bit of financial breathing room and a few extra bucks.

By this time, Rita's old car was sucking in more money than gas. In fact, the final straw was with the radiator that was just replaced with a reconditioned one. It took less than the 90 days of the warranty to fail. I reported it to the auto company that put it in, and they told me to bring the receipt. Rita wasn't able to find it and the company not only refused to search their records, they said if we find ours, the labor will be about the same.

I decided that we needed another car so we went shopping and picked out a Chevy Malibu. Everybody told me to make sure my name is on the title, but Rita took exception to this and said, if she decides to leave, all she wants is the car. I had done enough already and she didn't want anything more than the car if we separate. Grudgingly, I agreed to just that.

I knew for the time being I had bought a little peace and cooperation with my family, but that was also my exact fear as well. I don't cry much about my father's passing, as I feel he was more of a loss to the society he tried to improve. Despite his harshness towards me at my attempts to be successful with my endeavors, I look at Dad as a man that stood up for what is right, despite the fact that all it got was trouble.

In writing this chapter, I wondered if I had that courage and ability to be like him and stand tall and right in the face of punishment, financial penalties and dejection; not to mention having his faith and continuing to hope with the realization, there is more of a chance things won't pan out.

It wasn't until I wrote this chapter that I realized, indeed I have!  But my cause is with love itself, its ideals and responsibilities. I guess as you have read and will continue to read on, women are my Juvenile Services Agency. Yet, there is still a certain satisfaction of continuing to try and at least stand for something. What better gift can a parent provide?

The home situation was slightly improved and I loved the fact that I was financially caught up, but still the balance was going back down.  At least it was a short periods of less fighting and friends were stopping by and we could do a thing here or there.

Another rare treat at this time was actually having people over and entertaining, something that I really missed.  Money had played a role, but also time.  Rita used both fortune tellers and psychics and I often wondered if that was here her money went.  It was no surprise to me that she announced a medium from the Platinum pyschic was coming over to lead a Seance.  There was even sweet relief that she said her friends pooled their money together for this.

It would be Rita and mostly her friends, from her old job at Sheppard Pratt hospital as well as the one’s we made from Jimmy’s elementary school; Lori and her steady boyfriend as well Diane.  Rita’s sister Cathy and husband, Steve might have been as well.

It was easy enough, Rita just wanted a few snacks and also to arrange the place for the Seance.  Easy enough, so I organized the dining room table, place candles on it and I couldn’t resist my humorous touch of a real crystal ball that I owned.  The dining room really had that movie seance look to it.

The guest had arrived, then the lady from the Platinum psychics and was ready to begin.  I took her the dining room and she instantly had the look of fright to her and forcibly stated , “Oh no! This will not do.”

I instantly remembered the footsteps that came from there and wondered if they made an impression on her.  She regained her composure and sort of laughed saying, “I can see how you made a mistake like this, but I prefer to do things informally.  It didn’t take long to have the living room furniture rearranged into a circle.

She started they way one would typically think, she verbally called forth the spirits and immediately, the basement door started knocking.  I enjoyed the look of surprise on everyone’s face.  The medium looked at both Rita and me, and Rita divulged it was Morris, our cat.  Personally I thought, What perfect timing?

She proceeded. “This is a strange and very active area and the house does have energy.  Outside I see an elderly man and a little girl walking out front, but it was long ago.” She also asked if two kids were raised in the house, which only heightened that my grandmother didn’t miscarry, but lost a young child in the house.

Then it was time for the spirits to confer to her about our fortunes.  But she even stated she had a level of confusion over things.  For me, she saw that I was going to have a new truck that would be out back, not in the driveway, but next to the garage.  To me it was amazing, as I was thinking about getting a truck for myself, and the neighbor behind us informed me that I am not to access the alleyway, despite the deed grants me that.  Yet, I still couldn’t see it.

She went around the room and what was funny was how time bore out those predictions, I didn’t have a new truck, but Lories steady now husband got one on a spur of the minute opportunity.  It was like the spirits swapped positions and decided to mix things up.  She ended up 100% right on, if you took the fortunes as a whole and used the details that she provided.

Near the end, Rita spoke up, “Mike’s dad was always talking about getting into Heaven, I would like to know if he made it?”

The platinum medium immediately jumped and exclaimed, “Well I never got a response like that before, but does, ‘Hell yes!’ mean anything?

Both Rita and I laughed and Rita said, “That’s exactly the way he is.”

Later on there was one other strange thing that happened in the living room.  Rita, Jimmy where on the couch and I was in the reclining chair watching a movie with Oliver, the beagle on my lap.  I had a strange sensation and even felt/heard a slap, much like a static discharge between my legs.

Oliver let out a yelp and flew off the chair and ran under Jimmy’s legs and around the coffee table.  The living room had a cathedral and was missionary style and he was fixated on a corner that had a cabinet and book shelves.  He immediately jutted his head forward and started growling.

He was acting like something was approaching and he was standing his ground and growling even louder.  Then he sat down and started shaking.  A few seconds later he stuck out his nose and sniffed and suddenly stood up and started panting and smiling, as if being petted.

This is one for the rare times that Rita spoke all of our thoughts, “I think your Dad’s in the room.”