It's not that I'm a nincompoop,
a nit-wit or a ninny.
'Tis only certain matters make
my head a little spinny.

I'm smarter than the average bear -
to claim I'm not is hooey.
But when I need to find my way,
my compass goes kafluey.

You may have heard that I can't cook -
from me you'll get no squabbles.
The merest thought of recipes
can give me collywobbles.

If someone's spread the scuttlebutt
that I can be befuddled,
I must admit technology
  does make my mind all muddled.

So I can't find my north from south
or cook a gourmet dinner -
Take pity on this poet please,
and tell me I'm a winner.