CD Richards

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Two Words finished second in the contest "Meaning of Life"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Grave Concerns finished second in the contest "5-7-5 Horror Poem"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Be Careful What You Wish For finished second in the contest "Halloween Flash Fiction"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! The Mulahad won the contest "Halloween Poetry"

CD Richards: I just bought Stephen Fry's "The Ode Less Traveled". I'm so looking forward to finding out what wisdom Stephen has in store. I think this quote from Auden in the preface gets it off to a delightful start:

The poet who writes "free" verse is like Robinson Crusoe on his desert island: he must do all his cooking, laundry and darning for himself. In a few exceptional cases, this manly independence produces something original and impressive, but more often the result is squalor -- dirty sheets on the unmade bed and empty bottles on the unswept floor.

No offence to any of our talented free versers, but I think it pretty well describes my few forays into the Dark Arts :)

CD Richards: When danger reared its ugly head,
he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes brave Sir Donald turned about,
and gallantly he chickened out...

- The Holy Grail, by Monty Python
(almost exactly according to script)

CD Richards: Stolen FB quote of the day:

Blaming all muslims for terrorism is like blaming all musicians for Ted Nugent.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: A Second Chance finished first in the contest "Alternate Facts"

CD Richards: I keep six honest serving-men
(they taught me all I knew);
their names are What and Why and When
and How and Where and Who.

-- Rudyard Kipling

CD Richards: For dedicated ukulele players, the urge to perform "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is never more than a whim away.

CD Richards: Jesus, interceding on behalf of the Boy Scouts:

"Forgive them father, for they know what knot they do."

- HA Hildebrandt

CD Richards: "Guns aren't the problem. The problem is a godless society".

So then, consider this:

When's the last time some lunatic who mowed down a crowd in a mall or at a concert or a church ranted about how much they loved God? Answer: every day.

When's the last time someone who hates guns and refuses to own one committed mass murder with a firearm? Oh, that's right -- never.

I don't think you've thought this through.

CD Richards: Waiting for the obligatory "thoughts and prayers" posts to begin.

CD Richards: My partner and I recently had a long talk, and together we decided we don't want children.

The kids are taking it pretty hard.

CD Richards: Happy Birthday to all my American friends. I happen to think 3rd July is a far more important date in the scheme of things, but even so, hope you have a great day! Be nice to each other.

CD Richards: OK, so I know how to spell "grateful". I don't even have to think about it. So why is it every single time, without fail that I type it, my fingers produce "greatful", and I have to go back and correct???

CD Richards: Now this is funny... The owners of Noah's Ark (well, a full-size replica, apparently) in Kentucky are suing their insurance company, for... you guessed it... flood damage!

CD Richards: Another one bites the dust. Wakey, wakey.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Transience finished second in the contest "Cinquain Poetry"

CD Richards: My bull***t meter has gone off scale, and I've encountered enough of it this past week to convince me it's time I took a break from this site. I won't be here to review, post new content or participate in the forums for some time. To my friends here, thanks for understanding.

CD Richards: If you feel like today (or tomorrow, for those whose clocks are behind ours) someone is stabbing you in the back-- it's probably because they are...

Beware the Ides of March!

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! Less is more won the contest "ABC Poetry Contest"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Not my house finished third in the contest "5-7-5 Poetry"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Two's Complement finished third in the contest "Valentine Poem"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: The survey finished third in the contest "100 Word Writing Contest"

CD Richards: For those who aren't feeling the love...

The roses are wilted
The violets are dead
I need you like I need
A hole in the head


Not original - I heard it on TV this morning, and thought it was funny.

I liked this one too...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
But we've got a mortgage
So don't buy me any useless crap

~~~~~~~~~

Last year, my sweetheart told me nothing could be better than the present I got her for Valentine's Day...
so this year, that's exactly what she's getting.

(that one's mine)

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Lords of Creation finished third in the contest "Dribble Flash Fiction"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Fade to Black finished second in the contest "Sonnet Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: Current status: twelve views, one review.

I think I'm going to set myself a new record here for lowest read-to-comment ratio. I'm noticing a pattern, the more something I write amuses me, the less anyone else will find it of interest. I suppose that says something; exactly what, I'm not sure.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Persistence finished third in the contest "5-7-5 Poetry Writing"

CD Richards: There's plenty of fish in the sea
It's time now to fly and be free
A new day is dawning
No need to be fawning
These PDAs really are twee

CD Richards: Q. What is green and has wheels?

A. Grass.

(I lied about the wheels)

CD Richards: "Foment" is, and always has been, a verb; never a noun. Just saying [shaking head].

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Swiss Cheese finished third in the contest "5-7-5 Poem"

CD Richards: It's likely, though not certain, that I won't be able to be online much for a couple of days. So, to avoid getting too far behind, I'll be pushing through a couple of poems today. If I don't respond to your review, or read your piece straight away, I'll try my best to get to it as soon as I can. Cheers, Craig

CD Richards: Additional tidbit re "disappearing reviews" on Amazon...

I heard from one person who attempted to leave a review, and was denied. It turns out they had not spent a minimum of $50 on Amazon, and that is the reason they are not allowed to write reviews. I've since confirmed this from other sources.

So, bottom line. Amazon requires people to spend money with them, to be able to leave reviews which encourage people to spend money with them. Top policy that.

CD Richards: Just wanted to say, if anyone has purchased my book, Earthshine, and left a review of it on Amazon, please don't think me rude and ignorant for not thanking you. It seems none of the reviews (and I know there have been some) are showing. So, to those who bought my book, and those who left a review, heartfelt thanks. And, good or bad, I'm sorry I didn't get to see it. Thanks, Amazon, you're a peach. Craig

CD Richards: From my Facebook feed:

Man is the most insane species. He worships an invisible God and destroys a visible Nature. Unaware that this Nature he's destroying is this God he's worshiping.

― Hubert Reeves

Amen to that.

CD Richards: I'm excited that my first collection of 40 magnificent incredible superb really good poems is now available on Amazon, in both Kindle version and paperback.

Earthshine: Reflections on life

The links are in my profile, for anyone who's interested to check it out :)

CD Richards: Whenever I get involved in conversations about the meaning of life, and where everything's headed, I can't help but feel that there's an underlying assumption that because these are 'big' questions, they necessarily need big answers. There aren't any, though. We're not here for a universal purpose, and there is no grand plan, no matter how tempting it is to believe it.

But that's absolutely fine, because it means that if there aren't any big answers, the little ones are all the more important. So every day, I take my dog for a walk in the field near my house. Sometimes I get to see a pretty sunset, but usually it's either bucketing down and I get soaked, or cold, or the field is full of mud and bugs and dog turds, and it's a pain to navigate through. Whatever the situation, though, my dog has the most ridiculous fun ever, and being a part of that little moment of joy is what it's all about. So be nice to the people and things around you -- it doesn't cost anything, and generally makes the world a nicer place to live in. Focus on the little answers.

- Dr Pete Etchells

CD Richards: Excellent viewing, available on STAN:



You'll be glad you watched it.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! Symbiosis won the contest "Six Word Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: I'm sorry if my out of office autoreply gave you false hopes of my swift and enthusiastic response.

CD Richards: My new "out of office" message:

Sorry, I'm currently out of the office, and can be reached by waiting until I get back.

CD Richards: Isn't it just as well we never get tired of being told what will happen to us if we don't buy what you're selling?

I do not find your threats all that scary,
for I'm sure your friend's imaginary.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Unhappy medium finished first in the contest "Objects of Desire"

CD Richards: Random thoughts on political correctness
-----------------------------------

I'm offended that you find my words offensive
And responding to you makes me apprehensive
For it never takes you long
To find what I've said is wrong
It's enough to make a bloke withdrawn and pensive

My world is rarely solemn and mysterious
I'm really bad at recognising "serious"
If you can't take a joke
We'll I'd say that's your yoke
If it makes you feel good, just call me imperious

CD Richards: Quote of the day:

"Most liberals are name-callers, so I'm not surprised."

ROFL. Well, lest I be accused of being one of those nefarious types who are out to silence all opposing views, I thought I'd publish it here. Thanks for the best belly laugh I've had in days. Isn't irony wonderful?

CD Richards: He promised to make them a beautiful philosophical book, written very small for their usage, and said that in this book they would see the point of everything. Indeed, he gave them this book before leaving. It was taken to the academy of science in Paris, but when the ancient secretary opened it, he saw nothing but blank pages. "Ah!" he said, "I suspected as much."

Voltaire. Micromegas (1752)

CD Richards: But unluckily there was another animalcule in a square cap, who, taking the word from all his philosophical brethren, affirmed that he knew the whole secret, which was contained in the abridgment of St. Thomas. He surveyed the two celestial strangers from top to toe, and maintained to their faces that their persons, their fashions, their suns and their stars, were created solely for the use of man. At this wild assertion our two travelers were seized with a fit of that uncontrollable laughter

-Voltaire, Micromegas (1752)

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Hero and Leander finished second in the contest "Loop Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: I wrote a crap review, my comprehension's not real good
You took the bait, and called me out -- I didn't think you would
So then I got all snarky and I played the teacher's pet
But sucking up hasn't produced the ends I wanted yet
I'm gonna sign me up as a free standard member now
And leave another crap review -- perhaps I'll sign it 'sow'
I'm not the slightest sorry if my antics made you frown
I think it's time I took a Bex, and had a wee lie down

CD Richards: A busy few days - several events on, and building work to supervise. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch up on reviewing and posting after the weekend.

CD Richards: It's time to make a change.

The following is part of a piece which appeared on Australian Sixty Minutes tonight. It shows footage taken by a Pakistani whistle blower of an Australian shipment of sheep to the middle east as part of our live export trade. Some 60,000 were crammed into an area where they had to stand the entire journey, and sent into an environment high in heat and humidity. Over two thousand sheep died on this one trip, and it's not the first time. Most were literally cooked alive, others were trampled or suffocated.

I seriously doubt that Australia is the only country in which this happens, but I'm disgusted and ashamed that it happens here. And it never sees the light of day unless some whistleblower can manage to smuggle out footage of what is going on. If you have the stomach for it, I suggest you watch the entire appalling Sixty Minutes program.

What I find equally appalling is that people might think this applies only to the live export trade. It's equally as bad in the domestic market. I've seen mountains of fly-blown bodies laying for weeks beside unloading ramps at saleyards, where animals have died due to conditions as bad as these, or worse, on transport trucks.

I'd like to make a plea - if you say you care about the welfare of animals, and are against them suffering, please consider not eating them. Not lambs, not cattle, not pigs, not chicken and not fish; because ALL meat production involves horrendous cruelty, in spite of what the industry tries to tell you.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Antichthon finished second in the contest "Acrostic Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: Congratulations to the brave youth of America, who are addressing the problems their parents and grandparents have washed their hands of. By 2020, there will be 20 million of them voting. Perhaps the politicians who receive millions in blood money from the NRA ought to keep that in mind.

CD Richards: The last male northern white rhino in the world has died, thus ensuring the extinction of yet another species. Well done, humans.

CD Richards: It's something I've been becoming increasingly aware of lately. The people most likely to toss around the term "liar", like it's going out of style, are the ones most likely to be doing it, even... especially... to themselves.

CD Richards: Watch your back today... just sayin'. "Beware the Ides of March" - Bill S.

CD Richards: There is a big black hole at the center of the galaxy today, created by the passing of Stephen Hawking. It is unlikely we will ever see someone like him again. RIP, Stephen. You, your giant contribution to human understanding, and your sense of humour will be sorely missed.

CD Richards: I'm no great poet or writer, but I have fun trying. There are some very good writers on this site. Then there are others who are good, but spend way too much time listening to the panderers, and consequently think they are a lot more talented than they actually are. Welcome to the world of "artists".

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Heaven and Hell finished third in the contest "Antonym Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: Happy New Year to all my FS friends! If anyone is wondering why I haven't reviewed their work or responded to their review or message, it's because I'm away from home for a couple of days and have almost no online time - but I'll be back soon, and do my best to catch up! cheers, Craig

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! unfinished. won the contest "One Line Poem"

CD Richards: It's official. Sydney's newest aquatic public transport vessel is named Ferry McFerryface. Everyone in our household thinks that's a hoot, including our as yet unborn foal, Pony McPonyface.

CD Richards:
Christmas tip #1:

Get a bunch of empty cardboard boxes and wrap them in pretty seasonal paper and ribbons. When the kids start misbehaving throw a couple (of the boxes, not the kids) on the fire.

(P.S. I hope I shamelessly pinched this from my FB feed, not someone here - I honestly can't recall. If I pinched it from you, please let me know and I'll remove it - or at least give credit where credit is due).

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: A long way from Durham Town finished first in the contest "Double-Blind Challenge"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! Class of 71 won the contest "Sudden Flash Fiction"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! Pacific Palms won the contest "Character"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: My loving heart finished second in the contest "Love, Compassion and Kindness"

CD Richards: I love Matilda - even more now.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Tragedy at St. Matthew's finished first in the contest "Shaggy Dog Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: Congratulations to all the participants who made it through the NaPoWriMo contest, on a job well done. Special congratulations to Kim for winning! And on a personal note, to everyone who took the time to read and review my pieces over the month, and especially those who voted for me - I can't thank you personally, but your support means everything.

CD Richards: Answers to the Rolling Stones poem quiz (in order of appearance):

It's all over now
Bitch
Start me up
Miss you
Love in vain
Under my thumb
Loving cup
You can't always get what you want
Satisfaction
Get off of my cloud
Time is on my side
Let it loose
Rocks off
Angie
I'm free
Wild horses
Play with fire
Happy
Dead flowers
Moonlight mile

Sorry, I originally said there were 22 songs, but I left a couple out when I was reworking it. 20 is the final number.

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Just Cause finished first in the contest "This is serious"

FanStory wrote to CD Richards: Congratulations! The Calm won the contest "Antonym Poetry Contest"

CD Richards: I've recently become aware that to have made the grade as a proper poet, you must have created your own poetic construction. Not wishing to miss the boat, I've created my own - here are the details:

The Trumpolet

1. It must contain no rhyme nor reason of any kind.
2. It must go on and on and on and on - without end.
3. Preferably, it should appeal to the primal instincts - fear, pack behaviour, etc
4. Anyone giving critical reviews of a poem adopting this form will be forcibly removed and beaten.
5. The louder, the better.
6. Certain people won't be allowed to enter. Deal with it.
7. If you don't like it, you're stoopid.

A contest featuring this form will be created shortly. If you can't handle it, go back to where you came from.

Thank you.

CD Richards: A couple of people may have noticed I haven't posted anything in a bit. No major dramas, it's just that life has a tendency to get in the way of more enjoyable pursuits from time to time. By the look of it, I won't be posting much, if anything in the foreseeable future.

All of that is neither here nor there, the real point of this post is to say "sorry" to the people whose stuff I regularly love to review that I haven't been able to review much lately, and also to apologize in advance that I won't get to read much at all on here for a while. Textbooks will be my bedtime reading for the foreseeable future (sigh).

To those who have brought me so much joy reading their stuff (you know who you are), keep it up, and I hope to catch up one day!