pafaust

pafaust: Thank you to all that read and reviewed "Mark Twain Was Wrong". My first objective was to convince a non-golfer into taking up the sport, but it seems that most people are very adamant in their anti-golf stances. Secondly, I wanted to make someone laugh, unexpectedly, at a sport that is considered stuffy and sophisticated. I was happy with the fact the most of the reviews made me laugh, unexpectedly, right back.

pafaust: Quite frankly, I've always felt spoiled by the fact that I have two computer monitors, at work. They've always seemed to work just fine.
A new computer was delivered to me, last week, and the IT guy (Joe) commented on the fact that my monitors were very small. Here is how the conversation went:
Joe: If you're important enough to need such a powerful computer, you need larger monitors.
Me: Of course I'm that important. Get me new monitors, Minion.
Joe: I'll talk to your admin, straight away, so that she can get them on order.
Me: Let it be so or off with your head.
(Yes, we did lapse into a kind of medieval, Alice in Wonderland-y dialect. It always happens when I'm channeling the Queen of Hearts.)
I am definitely going to start flashing my importance around to see how much more stuff I can get.

pafaust:

pafaust: Because I am a bit of a Grammar Queen, I try to keep up with what the kids are doing, grammatically, these days. I've heard there is a new "thing" to do. "tl;dr" means "too long; didn't read".
I know that I (sometimes) tend to get a little verbose and may expound on a random, and quite possibly silly, thought for many, many, many, many sentences. There might be people that feel that they don't have enough time in the average work day to read every word. I appreciate that and don't begrudge you your confusing work ethic.
But I'm telling you, right now,if I were ever to receive a "tl;dr" comment, my feelings will be hurt to a degree that you won't even be able to comprehend and there's a very good chance that the next time I see the dick that writes that, I'm liable to punch you in the throat.
There's my PSA for the day. You've been warned.

pafaust: The thing that I like about books, as opposed to movies, is that the writer gives us the ability to know what the characters are thinking. I tend to gravitate towards the characters that may seem sweet on the outside, but are harboring some evil thoughts behind the words they may say. Here's my question: should a writer be concerned that his/her story is not going to do well because the reader is privy to every "not nice" thought that his/her characters think? What if they're really funny?

pafaust:

pafaust: I don't know what's going on today, but I appreciate the fact that the whole world has gotten together in an effort to please me because I have not been disappointed in one single aspect of this day, yet.

pafaust: Your weirdness will make you stronger. Your dark side will keep you whole. Your vulnerability will connect you to the rest of our suffering world. Your creativity will set you free. There's nothing wrong with you. Andrea Balt

pafaust: We are having a new garage door installed, today?woo hoo! There was discussion on who should stay home to let the garage door guys in, at 8:00 a.m. Here are the top ten reasons that it was a better idea that Jody (the husband) take on that task:
1) A garage door is a ?boy thing?. As are refrigerators, garbage disposals and dishwashers. If someone were delivering a couch, I would make it my job to let them in.
2) People randomly fall in love with me for no apparent reason. There is no data that suggests that garage door installers are immune to my charm.
3) Do garage door installers expect to be tipped? What kind of gratuity will they be expecting?
4) One of the rules of our marriage is that Jody and I both are granted four unreasonable demands, a year. Fortunately, we never have to use them although Jody insists that I have cashed in on one with a sandwich request, this year. If he doesn?t press the issue on the three remaining demands, we will avoid that fight. I think he suspected that I might demand that I not have to do this and caved before I had to declare it a demand.
5) I didn?t pick out the door and would have no way of knowing whether or not they were even installing the right one.
6) Although I expect that their occupation of installing garage doors makes them quite familiar with driveway parking, I have no way of knowing whether or not they can conform to the stringent parking guidelines that I try to have carried out in my driveway. They don?t know how lucky they are to have avoided that mini meltdown.
7) I might have tried to make use of the idle waiting time by starting to build my hat for the Kentucky Derby, next year, and got so caught up in that project that I never made it to work.
8) I have a huge and important work project and need to keep doing my part to keep you safe at 30,000 feet. You?re welcome.
9) Given the fact that most of today?s random hair drying thoughts consisted of Dr. Seuss verses ? ?And to think that I saw it on Mulberry street?, I feel that I might not have been up to the task of entertaining the garage door guys. What is the emoticon for ?feeling unimaginative??
10) There might be instructions involved and I don?t feel that I have the teaching skills to pass on any information that Jody might need.

pafaust: Dumb question from a technological dork...how do you connect pictures, videos, etc. to profile comments? All I see is "Include Image" with just a few emoticons.

pafaust: Today's Random Hair Drying Thought: There are three similarish (not a word...I know...) that I feel I need to define, today. "Whew" is an exhausted expression uttered at the conclusion of a long, arduous activity: "Whew...what a long day." "Ppfew" is what you say at the conclusion of a task where there was some treachery or peril involved and you have escaped with your life and limbs, intact. "Woo" is synonymous with "Yay" but preferable if you want to make your mouth look like you're kissing. (I'll pause for a moment so you can verify that fact and rejoice in the fact that you've already had a "woo", today.) The happiness conveyed with "woo" multiplies exponentially with the addition of the "o"s. The order of preference for these expressions is "Woo, Ppfew, then Whew. You can flip-flop the last two depending on your capacity for embracing challenges and adventures. I hope y'all have a bunch of Wooooooo for the rest of the day.