In The Ripening
Enjoying sweetness with maturity12 total reviews
Comment from Mia Twysted
I understand from this piece that what once was bitter becomes sweet. The mindset of youth gives you hope to see things in a different light then when you grow up into an adult. However, I am having a hard time resinating with the first line. It seems out of place.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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I understand from this piece that what once was bitter becomes sweet. The mindset of youth gives you hope to see things in a different light then when you grow up into an adult. However, I am having a hard time resinating with the first line. It seems out of place.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. The first line is meant to convey that biting a green piece of fruit tastes bitter... before it softens and tastes sweeter when it ripens; just as youth can be a hard time before we soften with age and experience, we can let go of bitterness.
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Thank you for explaining that. It makes even more sense now. But even without understanding that I still understood your message.
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Thanks for your comments, Mia. Also, thanks very much for becoming a fan - I hope I can keep writing items that you find worthwhile reading.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The literary technique of alliteration is vivid. The sensory is enchance by the s's in particular effect the sounds people make when something tastes bitter. Often made by sucking air through the gritted teeth. Well expressed. I am voting for this one.
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The literary technique of alliteration is vivid. The sensory is enchance by the s's in particular effect the sounds people make when something tastes bitter. Often made by sucking air through the gritted teeth. Well expressed. I am voting for this one.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
I enjoyed this entry for the 12 Word Poetry Contest writing prompt. There is truth in your words. I hope this poem does well in the contest!
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I enjoyed this entry for the 12 Word Poetry Contest writing prompt. There is truth in your words. I hope this poem does well in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Quite the metaphor especially in the present times! ;) A great contest offering for this extremely limited format contest -- thanx so very much for sharing and best of luck to you at the polls this evening! ;) :)
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Quite the metaphor especially in the present times! ;) A great contest offering for this extremely limited format contest -- thanx so very much for sharing and best of luck to you at the polls this evening! ;) :)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of your twelve words to convey a strong message about the value of experience and how the young learn lessons the hard way, making the future sweeter. "Green bitterness" is an excellent metaphor; alliteration is a good enhancement.
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You have made excellent use of your twelve words to convey a strong message about the value of experience and how the young learn lessons the hard way, making the future sweeter. "Green bitterness" is an excellent metaphor; alliteration is a good enhancement.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This poem speaks about maturity in living, youth has never taken full taste of life as it comes after success; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
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This poem speaks about maturity in living, youth has never taken full taste of life as it comes after success; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from Ric Myworld
I often think of myself as a monkey in a tree. A lemon, lime, or oranges so sweet. Mangoes and avocados and a green plantain. Huh, I must be a fruity monkey. Thanks for sharing.
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I often think of myself as a monkey in a tree. A lemon, lime, or oranges so sweet. Mangoes and avocados and a green plantain. Huh, I must be a fruity monkey. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written twelve word poem about the youth that learn when they eat unripened fruit to wait until the fruit is ripened then they weill taste much better and are pleasantly sweet.
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A very well-written twelve word poem about the youth that learn when they eat unripened fruit to wait until the fruit is ripened then they weill taste much better and are pleasantly sweet.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from equestrik
It is an amazing evolution as we move from bitterness and anger through life and truth we do gain wisdom and we do become softer people. I really like this and the picture as well.
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It is an amazing evolution as we move from bitterness and anger through life and truth we do gain wisdom and we do become softer people. I really like this and the picture as well.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Enjoying sweetness with maturity
In The Ripening
Hello anonymous
Nice entry for the
12 Word Poetry writing prompt contest. I'm not sure what your poem is about. I understand it's about maturity because of the title. The first phrase....Biting back on bitterness,....what do you mean? Maybe is the syntax I'm having problems with.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Enjoying sweetness with maturity
In The Ripening
Hello anonymous
Nice entry for the
12 Word Poetry writing prompt contest. I'm not sure what your poem is about. I understand it's about maturity because of the title. The first phrase....Biting back on bitterness,....what do you mean? Maybe is the syntax I'm having problems with.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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First of all, let me congratulate you on being awarded recognized Writer of the Month - a wonderful achievement.
My poem will mean different things to different people depending on their own experience and background, probably even nationality.
This is what I intended my own meaning to be:
Biting back on bitterness could mean: shut one's mouth and think before saying angry things (youth often say things without thinking - they will learn hard truths that it isn't a fair world and this might make them bitter.) Also, I am using fruit as a metaphor - it is hard and bitter when it is green (immature) then as it ripens in sunshine it becomes sweeter. Like humans, it flourishes in good times (analogy to the sun).
To me, perfect syntax, punctuation, even spelling sometimes, can be twisted when used in poetry. I wouldn't do it in prose, but poetry is more about mind games, heart and soul, and also when trying to capture a complex thought in only a few words then perfect syntax can be sacrificed. (My opinion about my poetry.)
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Thank you very much for explaining the poem to me. It makes sense now. It's just my way of writing poetry is straight forward... Imagism poetry. Have a great weekend.
