Reviews from

St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 81 "St. Louis Chapter 35 part 1"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

22 total reviews 
Comment from A. Fortier
Excellent
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Barbara,
Thank you for sharing this story. It is very well written and I think the Character List is a nice touch. Congratulations on a job well done.
Cheers,
A.Fortier

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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You have penned that classic love scene here, with all the detail of a television script. It is all very visual and we see them embracing tearfully clinging to each other. Logan is letting her kiss him but he seems to be hanging back a bit. Almost like he is using the trip back to Fort Bragg as an excuse to get away and get back to the life he has known; maybe that he is comfortable with. Mackenzie seems much more passionate here and deffinitely is the one pushing the physical contact. I think its a great scene, one that we have seen a million times before maybe in the movies, but you work up the emotions well in this post. estory

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Veenbee
Excellent
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This story is coming along just fine. I like your descriptive details on their movements. Ex. Trey set his coffee cup by the sink. Her arms went around his neck. Thinks like that for example. Great job. Veenbee

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Barbara.Wilkey,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction in continuation having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting love between Logan and Mac in a natural way.
The former loves Mac, but never says so while the latter loves Logan and transparently shows it to him. This phenomenon can sometimes be seen in real life as well.
"Please note, Logan has never told McKenzie he loves her." This line is working as a good HOOK.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by RPSaxena on 08-Sep-2020
    Barbara.Wilkey, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
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Not making decisions when in the midst of so much tension is a good thing- not saying how a person feels about another- maybe not so good?

The wrestling with the emotions on BOTH of their part has been very realistically written.

I have enjoyed the book. I am looking forward to see how it ends.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this part. The flow of your words made it an easy read. I do not see any errors. I am just getting to know the characters and it is going to be over.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elchupakabra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter was well done, the emotion comes through in this tearful departure. Good work overall here, no editing notes to speak of. Keep up the great work, thanks for sharing. Later daze.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's a finely crafted art you possess that leaves us readers "chomping at the bit" for your next chapter. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.

I'm sorry to learn about Charles's passing, but glad it was peacefully. After two years away from this site I was so shocked when I came back to find how many had moved on in such a short time. They all will be missed!

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

First, I was so sad to hear of Charlie's death, he was a lovely man, and his western stories were amazing. I'm glad it was a peaceful ending for him. Thank you for letting us know, Barbara.

No, he hasn't told her he loves her, why? We know he does, she has told him how she feels. He's wrong if he thinks she will just 'get on with her life', men can be such dunces at times. If anything goes wrong now, and Logan isn't there for her, he'll never forgive himself. What a sad chapter, Barbara, I do hope he comes back. Well done, my friend, I can't wait for the next part. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

(typo: in route s/b en route) Heartrending parting--skillful narration; characters and dialog ring true. Emotions are masterfully conveyed. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. Will fix it.