The Corona saga
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Weight me down"to keep my sanity in time of pandemic
17 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I can see how slim you are by looking at your picture. I know it's easy to gain weight when you cannot walk or exercise. But better days ahead. When the scale talks back to you, then you'll jump and lose a few kilos.
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I can see how slim you are by looking at your picture. I know it's easy to gain weight when you cannot walk or exercise. But better days ahead. When the scale talks back to you, then you'll jump and lose a few kilos.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2021
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like your literary techniques. Stream of consciousness as in Jack London's short story To Build a Fire. Your use of personification will draw the reader in. You've also used wordplay. This was fun.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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I like your literary techniques. Stream of consciousness as in Jack London's short story To Build a Fire. Your use of personification will draw the reader in. You've also used wordplay. This was fun.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review:)
Comment from Veronica Grace
This was fun to read and extremely relatable for the obvious reasons. Very well written and kept my attention to the end. I don't see anything that should be corrected or changed. I could feel your frustration and appreciate the humor your could bring to the situation.
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This was fun to read and extremely relatable for the obvious reasons. Very well written and kept my attention to the end. I don't see anything that should be corrected or changed. I could feel your frustration and appreciate the humor your could bring to the situation.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This story seemed a little more like a stream-of-consciousness rant than a true story with a plot, etc. (sorry!)
Notes:
1.) Today she gives me the murderous look from my husband('s) bathroom,
2.) But, not today Scalie, today I am giving you the Coronella excuse.
--> just a note - I am not sure 'coronella' relates to covid. I looked it up and can't tell. To be more clear you might use different wording? (It's Corona -virus)
3.) Blame it on Coronella (but) the only food you can get right now is F R O Z E N!
4.) I am bing(e)ing on ice...cream. Usually,
5.) I am craving for something fresh
--> delete 'for'
6.) there are people in this world (who) would wish to have something frozen every day to eat.
7.) Yeah, the old bastard (weighs) or should I say (')scales(') himself every morning.
8.) I understand that you are officially (o)n vacation until September,
--> it is long past September...
9.) Why don't you clean your bathroom, I can guarantee that you will lose at least 3 kilos."
--> this comes in the middle of speech so delete the quotation mark
10.) I don't think your story - as it now stands - will qualify for the contest. You were supposed to include a mandatory line -- it wasn't in the original contest listing, but added in the forum notes. 'We are going to do something illegal tonight' is the sentence. Need to edit and add that or you risk disqualification.
Thanks and good luck!
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This story seemed a little more like a stream-of-consciousness rant than a true story with a plot, etc. (sorry!)
Notes:
1.) Today she gives me the murderous look from my husband('s) bathroom,
2.) But, not today Scalie, today I am giving you the Coronella excuse.
--> just a note - I am not sure 'coronella' relates to covid. I looked it up and can't tell. To be more clear you might use different wording? (It's Corona -virus)
3.) Blame it on Coronella (but) the only food you can get right now is F R O Z E N!
4.) I am bing(e)ing on ice...cream. Usually,
5.) I am craving for something fresh
--> delete 'for'
6.) there are people in this world (who) would wish to have something frozen every day to eat.
7.) Yeah, the old bastard (weighs) or should I say (')scales(') himself every morning.
8.) I understand that you are officially (o)n vacation until September,
--> it is long past September...
9.) Why don't you clean your bathroom, I can guarantee that you will lose at least 3 kilos."
--> this comes in the middle of speech so delete the quotation mark
10.) I don't think your story - as it now stands - will qualify for the contest. You were supposed to include a mandatory line -- it wasn't in the original contest listing, but added in the forum notes. 'We are going to do something illegal tonight' is the sentence. Need to edit and add that or you risk disqualification.
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I love this lament on the effects of weight gain on the COVID. It is funny and another reason of why we are all in the same boat due to this virus.
At the beginning, I had the cleanest house in years, now that has been sort of fallen off.
While I am retired, your story resonates with me also.
Very well done. I love the line about dancing and the police.
With winter closing in on both of our countries and the virus still with us, we will be lamenting more!
Take care and stay well.
Mary
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I love this lament on the effects of weight gain on the COVID. It is funny and another reason of why we are all in the same boat due to this virus.
At the beginning, I had the cleanest house in years, now that has been sort of fallen off.
While I am retired, your story resonates with me also.
Very well done. I love the line about dancing and the police.
With winter closing in on both of our countries and the virus still with us, we will be lamenting more!
Take care and stay well.
Mary
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written fun story about the affects of the Coronavirus on body, mind, and soul. The body grows bigger, the mind can't stop thinking about forbidden foods for a lean body, and the soul praying non-stop for everything to end soon.
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A very well-written fun story about the affects of the Coronavirus on body, mind, and soul. The body grows bigger, the mind can't stop thinking about forbidden foods for a lean body, and the soul praying non-stop for everything to end soon.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Carlos' girl
Clever clever and i take the loss never. I am thick, and proud of it. In some cultures this is a good thing, even before covid.
Like this story,its funny and reads well. Very nice job.
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Clever clever and i take the loss never. I am thick, and proud of it. In some cultures this is a good thing, even before covid.
Like this story,its funny and reads well. Very nice job.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Rosemary wanjiru
I like the poem because of the humor and how realistic it is but it's too long. Try making it brief. The shorter the better. Too long tends to bore the reader
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I like the poem because of the humor and how realistic it is but it's too long. Try making it brief. The shorter the better. Too long tends to bore the reader
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a good take on this new problem of weight gain during lockdown. This entry should do well in the Short Story contest. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
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This is a good take on this new problem of weight gain during lockdown. This entry should do well in the Short Story contest. Best of luck!
Comment Written 31-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much:) I hope too
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You're welcome!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Short Story contest.
This short piece is full of humor with a bit of truth, for me anyways.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Short Story contest.
This short piece is full of humor with a bit of truth, for me anyways.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 31-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much:) for your encouraging review.
