St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "St. Louis Chapter 34 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
19 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Well, looks like things are wrapping up, ribs and all. I know that was bad. But, good work. I know how long editing can be; way longer than actually writing it seems. But, I saw no issues.
Good work.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Well, looks like things are wrapping up, ribs and all. I know that was bad. But, good work. I know how long editing can be; way longer than actually writing it seems. But, I saw no issues.
Good work.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RShipp
Answers seem to be coming in for the search - but I'm not sure that this set of 'answers' will answer any of the right questions. I suspect there is much more investigating to follow.
Enjoyed.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Answers seem to be coming in for the search - but I'm not sure that this set of 'answers' will answer any of the right questions. I suspect there is much more investigating to follow.
Enjoyed.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben B.
Ouch! I didn't see your previous chapters but it must have been intense to bang her ribs up like that. Also, when closing a quotation you are supposed to use a comma unless it's the last sentence of the paragraph.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Ouch! I didn't see your previous chapters but it must have been intense to bang her ribs up like that. Also, when closing a quotation you are supposed to use a comma unless it's the last sentence of the paragraph.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Finally she is out of the hospital, but still keeps Logan in check... I wonder when she going to open her heart and let him in. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next post.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Finally she is out of the hospital, but still keeps Logan in check... I wonder when she going to open her heart and let him in. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next post.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm glad Mac's going home, and I'm glad she and Logan aren't rushing things. I hate it when I read some books, and they fall into bed in the first paragraph. Now they have almost come to the end of the murder hunt, and a quick interview with Trey will soon have it done and dusted! This was a great chapter, my friend, well done! Just a little nit below, take the (to) out. :) Sandra xxx
" He glanced around the room. "You're going to need (to) some help getting dressed.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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I'm glad Mac's going home, and I'm glad she and Logan aren't rushing things. I hate it when I read some books, and they fall into bed in the first paragraph. Now they have almost come to the end of the murder hunt, and a quick interview with Trey will soon have it done and dusted! This was a great chapter, my friend, well done! Just a little nit below, take the (to) out. :) Sandra xxx
" He glanced around the room. "You're going to need (to) some help getting dressed.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I made the correction.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Glad to know McKenzie will get to go home. This story is getting more and more exciting now that we are close to the end. I hope this book does well in sales. It should.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Glad to know McKenzie will get to go home. This story is getting more and more exciting now that we are close to the end. I hope this book does well in sales. It should.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're always welcome.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Taking ribs, sort of up close and personal, but I would have to be scared to death I might hurt someone. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter that keeps me coming back for more.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Taking ribs, sort of up close and personal, but I would have to be scared to death I might hurt someone. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter that keeps me coming back for more.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Steven Hicks
Barbara. I don't think I have read any of this before because I am new here. I think your characterization is good, I do see internal movement through the chapter. I get well grounded where the scene is taking place, there is no doubt where we are. Good solid voice.
The only thing that I might say is the you repeat a word or two. Where this can be done successfully to add emphasis sometimes it feels like an extra word.
For example, you wrote, "How do you feel about a few tests? If they come back as I feel they will, you should be home in time for dinner."
The repeated "feel" could be easily changed to sound better by simply changing the second feel to "think" or "am sure" something like that.
However, beautiful job.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Barbara. I don't think I have read any of this before because I am new here. I think your characterization is good, I do see internal movement through the chapter. I get well grounded where the scene is taking place, there is no doubt where we are. Good solid voice.
The only thing that I might say is the you repeat a word or two. Where this can be done successfully to add emphasis sometimes it feels like an extra word.
For example, you wrote, "How do you feel about a few tests? If they come back as I feel they will, you should be home in time for dinner."
The repeated "feel" could be easily changed to sound better by simply changing the second feel to "think" or "am sure" something like that.
However, beautiful job.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I will check those areas.
Comment from Ben Colder
Well. what does one say? We have a story and a silent romance about to happen. Good one and about the ribs, they take awhile but will do just fine.
Take and safe. Hope you get to enjoy your student this year without a mask.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Well. what does one say? We have a story and a silent romance about to happen. Good one and about the ribs, they take awhile but will do just fine.
Take and safe. Hope you get to enjoy your student this year without a mask.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elchupakabra
The whole work is smartly put together, the intro/recap and the character list really help me center myself every time I visit your work. The writing itself is well done and the formatting is on point. Keep up the great work here, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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The whole work is smartly put together, the intro/recap and the character list really help me center myself every time I visit your work. The writing itself is well done and the formatting is on point. Keep up the great work here, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
