Bicycle Built for Two
A rhyming poem with no poetic style40 total reviews
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Suggestion: change this: ("she stands straight as a steeple.")
TO THIS: ("she stands straight as a rugged church steeple.")
Nice entry for the Rhythm Poetry Contest! Your words flow nicely and the subject is creative and interesting;-)
Thanxxx for sharing and have a beautiful Saturday afternoon! Blessings to you;-)
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Suggestion: change this: ("she stands straight as a steeple.")
TO THIS: ("she stands straight as a rugged church steeple.")
Nice entry for the Rhythm Poetry Contest! Your words flow nicely and the subject is creative and interesting;-)
Thanxxx for sharing and have a beautiful Saturday afternoon! Blessings to you;-)
Comment Written 15-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Melodie, Reminds of the old song Old rugged cross....I do like it, thanks for the thought!
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;-)
Comment from Beverly A McBride
This brought a smile to my face. A nod to the other song/poem. I liked the phrase "you say you saw her cranking away, bucking a stiff breeze, while biking down the lazy, hazy lane toward town!" That was amusing--"cranking away" Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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This brought a smile to my face. A nod to the other song/poem. I liked the phrase "you say you saw her cranking away, bucking a stiff breeze, while biking down the lazy, hazy lane toward town!" That was amusing--"cranking away" Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Beverly, smiling back, thank you for your time invested in reading and commenting on my poem.
Comment from harmony13
I found the words of this poem sweet, clear and creative. The author's
words made me smile. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork
is perfect and compliments the words and theme of this poem.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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I found the words of this poem sweet, clear and creative. The author's
words made me smile. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork
is perfect and compliments the words and theme of this poem.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from Janetsue
So cute...of course, I instantly think of that antique song: Daisy, Daisy. I have never ridden a tandem bike, but would like to have the experience. This offers a terrific concluding line, as well!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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So cute...of course, I instantly think of that antique song: Daisy, Daisy. I have never ridden a tandem bike, but would like to have the experience. This offers a terrific concluding line, as well!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Spangle yes those were good songs, and good old days.
Comment from Writeling
This was a joy to read... and its rhyming pattern a pleasure to come across. I also like the amusing narrative.
'My gracious! So improper, but,
who would even dare stop her?'
Ah yes!
kind regards, Writeling
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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This was a joy to read... and its rhyming pattern a pleasure to come across. I also like the amusing narrative.
'My gracious! So improper, but,
who would even dare stop her?'
Ah yes!
kind regards, Writeling
Comment Written 14-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Writeling, I am smiling from your very generous six-star review. I do appreciate your time and comments.
Comment from lyenochka
It's interesting how you were able to create the rhythm with mostly internal rhymes, not end rhymes. And the story is amusing as is the picture. It's best not to stop a lady like that but just admire her.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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It's interesting how you were able to create the rhythm with mostly internal rhymes, not end rhymes. And the story is amusing as is the picture. It's best not to stop a lady like that but just admire her.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the good wishes.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Author, I got a cloppity clop rhythm from this poem but it stoped and started with each stanza. so I have no idea how the other reviewers will rate it.
I think you picked a dandy idea and illustration for this entry so I wish you well.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Dear Author, I got a cloppity clop rhythm from this poem but it stoped and started with each stanza. so I have no idea how the other reviewers will rate it.
I think you picked a dandy idea and illustration for this entry so I wish you well.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Suzanna, smiling back, certainly it does depict my age.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I like your unique idea for this theme: bringing people in locomotion together to create a rhythmic text. I like your ending it's quite sassy:"he was with a dandy, quite handy,
on a bicycle built for two.
My gracious! So improper, but,
who would even dare stop her?
Not even l, though... I am a copper!" Thank you for sharing and good luck with te contest.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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I like your unique idea for this theme: bringing people in locomotion together to create a rhythmic text. I like your ending it's quite sassy:"he was with a dandy, quite handy,
on a bicycle built for two.
My gracious! So improper, but,
who would even dare stop her?
Not even l, though... I am a copper!" Thank you for sharing and good luck with te contest.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Iza, thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from kahpot
Very well written, this is a very catchy read as it flows smoothly and while reading we can read it to a beat, love the artwork, very well presented and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Very well written, this is a very catchy read as it flows smoothly and while reading we can read it to a beat, love the artwork, very well presented and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 13-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2020
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Smiling back with a big thank you.
Comment from ESOSTINE
The poem kept me trying to visualise the subject lady, and the associated picture was fantastic, perfectly marching the work and helping to bring into reality the content of the poem. I could imagine her standing tall and straight! Thanks so much for sharing your inspiration.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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The poem kept me trying to visualise the subject lady, and the associated picture was fantastic, perfectly marching the work and helping to bring into reality the content of the poem. I could imagine her standing tall and straight! Thanks so much for sharing your inspiration.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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ESOSTINE, thank you for your visual insight as your read along on my poem.
