The Dick
500 Word Flash Fiction15 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
I saw you had rated one of my works and I did not recognize your name so I spent some quiet times peeking at your works.
I liked this story and saw that it was one review shy of fifteen, so here is that magical number.
Great plot line. Nice use of uncommon words, and great twist.
D
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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I saw you had rated one of my works and I did not recognize your name so I spent some quiet times peeking at your works.
I liked this story and saw that it was one review shy of fifteen, so here is that magical number.
Great plot line. Nice use of uncommon words, and great twist.
D
Comment Written 12-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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Hi D. Thanks for your comments and kind review! Bill
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Paranoia for two good reasons: Covid and money that are not good to offer to somebody else: "
I'm screwed. It's going to look bad to not do as he asked. I opened the door and stepped out.
"All right, what do you want?"
"Nothing much, Sir. I'm just collecting for the Policeman's Benevolent Society. Can we count on you for a donation?"
Now what do I do? All I have is Counterfeit Hundred's. They're good ones though. I'll ask for change" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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Paranoia for two good reasons: Covid and money that are not good to offer to somebody else: "
I'm screwed. It's going to look bad to not do as he asked. I opened the door and stepped out.
"All right, what do you want?"
"Nothing much, Sir. I'm just collecting for the Policeman's Benevolent Society. Can we count on you for a donation?"
Now what do I do? All I have is Counterfeit Hundred's. They're good ones though. I'll ask for change" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your kind review. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from papa55mike
That helped to get rid of a couple of hundreds. It's always good to ask for change. What a wonderfully written story.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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That helped to get rid of a couple of hundreds. It's always good to ask for change. What a wonderfully written story.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback! Bill
Comment from Rikki66
It was a hot day in the city of Angles, my partner and me were working bunco out of the five-four it was late in the day when Captain Tillman said it was a slow day so we should sell tickets for the Benevolent Society. Who would have thought we would have to make a bust at our first stop.
Well done.
RikkiLXXlll
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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It was a hot day in the city of Angles, my partner and me were working bunco out of the five-four it was late in the day when Captain Tillman said it was a slow day so we should sell tickets for the Benevolent Society. Who would have thought we would have to make a bust at our first stop.
Well done.
RikkiLXXlll
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your clever feedback!
Comment from R. Hiland
Enjoyable. A well written character study of a guilty conscience at work. If it's not quite Dostoevsky, it's still crime and punishment. Good job................
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Enjoyable. A well written character study of a guilty conscience at work. If it's not quite Dostoevsky, it's still crime and punishment. Good job................
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback.
Comment from elchupakabra
This was a solid, humorous entry to the flash fiction writing contest. I like the surprise ending. Good work on this story and good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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This was a solid, humorous entry to the flash fiction writing contest. I like the surprise ending. Good work on this story and good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback.
Comment from JudyE
This is a clever story and kept me engaged till the very end.
Just a couple of suggestions:
You wouldn't believe how good it sounds with the big screen tv, I picked up from those new expensive condos by the bay - delete comma
I was exposed last week to a little-old-lady who's bridge partner - spelling - whose
It would be horrible if you contacted the disease from me - should be 'contracted the disease'
I'm screwed. It's going to look bad to not do as he asked. -you've changed tense mid-sentence. It should be 'It's going to look bad to not do as he asks.'
Good luck in the contest
Judy
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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This is a clever story and kept me engaged till the very end.
Just a couple of suggestions:
You wouldn't believe how good it sounds with the big screen tv, I picked up from those new expensive condos by the bay - delete comma
I was exposed last week to a little-old-lady who's bridge partner - spelling - whose
It would be horrible if you contacted the disease from me - should be 'contracted the disease'
I'm screwed. It's going to look bad to not do as he asked. -you've changed tense mid-sentence. It should be 'It's going to look bad to not do as he asks.'
Good luck in the contest
Judy
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading Judy and your as always, spot on editing help. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from LisaMay
I love this story. What a great way to launder money! You tucked all his criminal activities into your story very well. When cornered, he had to brazen it out and once again he broke the law. The Police won't be feeling very benevolent when they find out.
This sentence needs a comma: How did I know(comma) you ask?
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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I love this story. What a great way to launder money! You tucked all his criminal activities into your story very well. When cornered, he had to brazen it out and once again he broke the law. The Police won't be feeling very benevolent when they find out.
This sentence needs a comma: How did I know(comma) you ask?
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading, the kind feedback and the spot!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a intriguing entry for the Flash Fiction writing prompt with a surprising ending. It should do well in the contest. Great good luck!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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This is a intriguing entry for the Flash Fiction writing prompt with a surprising ending. It should do well in the contest. Great good luck!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thanks for reading and your kind comments. I appreciate both!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Bill. So good to see another post by you. I consider you one of the most talented writers on Fanstory . . .and always have.
Great imagery throughout...like this: " I watched as he effortlessly switched the location from right to left."
Everything is well done and the story, although a stretch, is a good one too.
Suggestions: You need to put all of your thoughts in Italics, Bill. Unless you want to add "I thought" to each thought, otherwise, they stand out like a missing Porsche. (LOL) :) Bob
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Hi Bill. So good to see another post by you. I consider you one of the most talented writers on Fanstory . . .and always have.
Great imagery throughout...like this: " I watched as he effortlessly switched the location from right to left."
Everything is well done and the story, although a stretch, is a good one too.
Suggestions: You need to put all of your thoughts in Italics, Bill. Unless you want to add "I thought" to each thought, otherwise, they stand out like a missing Porsche. (LOL) :) Bob
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Hi Bob--thanks for the feedback and the suggestion. I appreciate both. You of course, know that one of the reasons I'm back on FS is for feedback and suggestions from people like you!
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You have always helped me too, Bill. :) Bob
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You have always helped me too, Bill. :) Bob
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You and I go way back on this site, don't we? Bob
