Astray
Isolation is debilitating (and more) to some...27 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your image and words match nicely, YM. Great job with the syllable count per line. I like your color choices, too. You give readers much to think about.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Your image and words match nicely, YM. Great job with the syllable count per line. I like your color choices, too. You give readers much to think about.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 03-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thanx so much for dropping by for the review on this one, Jan -- be sure to have a terrific Tuesday and take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from June Sargent
Isolation can be devastating for those who are prone to depression and anxiety. We all need human interaction that does not involve an electronic device - or a mask!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Isolation can be devastating for those who are prone to depression and anxiety. We all need human interaction that does not involve an electronic device - or a mask!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Thanx so much, June -- always great to hear from you over here! ;) Yvette
Comment from Bill Schott
This lost 5-7-5, Astray, has the proper formatting and sees the person who cannot express his/her mind clear of demons must suffer them circling alone.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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This lost 5-7-5, Astray, has the proper formatting and sees the person who cannot express his/her mind clear of demons must suffer them circling alone.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thanx so much, Bill, for stopping by on this one -- take care, sir! ;) Yvette
Comment from elchupakabra
I really love the placement and choice of the word 'sequestered' in particular, I feel that really tied the whole piece together and made it stand out. Good luck in the contest, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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I really love the placement and choice of the word 'sequestered' in particular, I feel that really tied the whole piece together and made it stand out. Good luck in the contest, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thanx so much for your truly thoughtful review on this one, sir -- much appreciated over here! ;) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Yvette,
Beautiful entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Lost contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Lovely presentation too.
Hugs,
Gypsy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Hello, Yvette,
Beautiful entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Lost contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Lovely presentation too.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thanx so much for your review on this one, Marival -- always great to hear from you! :) Take care out there and have a sunshiny week of wonder! ;) Yvette
Comment from Father Flaps
Yvette! How nice to see you this morning!
I think what you're saying in this poem is that we need a tether, an anchor (if you will). I remember that old hymn,
"We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll,
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move.
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love." ... written by William J. Kirkpatrick
I like your last line,
"through fear's unknown fields" ... quite often fields grow very tall. You can't see the edge, a road more traveled. And you wander aimlessly. You give "fear" ownership. Good personification! For fear is not from God.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2Timothy 1:7
But your poem may not have anything to do with God. It's just how I see it.
Perhaps, and I suggest this because of your chosen word, "sequestered", the man without tether is a loner without friends. Someone who thinks he can lick the world all by himself. An island to himself. But we all need friends, people who will help us when we get into trouble.
In any case, Yvette, a nice 5-7-5 for the contest! Good Luck to you!
Hugs
Kimbob
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Yvette! How nice to see you this morning!
I think what you're saying in this poem is that we need a tether, an anchor (if you will). I remember that old hymn,
"We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll,
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move.
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love." ... written by William J. Kirkpatrick
I like your last line,
"through fear's unknown fields" ... quite often fields grow very tall. You can't see the edge, a road more traveled. And you wander aimlessly. You give "fear" ownership. Good personification! For fear is not from God.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2Timothy 1:7
But your poem may not have anything to do with God. It's just how I see it.
Perhaps, and I suggest this because of your chosen word, "sequestered", the man without tether is a loner without friends. Someone who thinks he can lick the world all by himself. An island to himself. But we all need friends, people who will help us when we get into trouble.
In any case, Yvette, a nice 5-7-5 for the contest! Good Luck to you!
Hugs
Kimbob
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Hey, Kimbob!! So good to hear from you! Thanx so much for this awesomely detailed review and I apologize for being so tardy in my response, sir -- we're in the process of 'downsizing' and fixing up this place has consumed my time among other craziness going on... :) I take the time to write a shortie once in a while, but my writing time has been about 'nill' ... ;/ :) Hope all's well with you out there and may you find some sunshiny smiles this week, my friend!! ;) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Debra White
Hello :)
This is a well written 5-7-5.
The frightening imagery is tangible.
Effective alliteration in line 3 - it reads very well.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Hello :)
This is a well written 5-7-5.
The frightening imagery is tangible.
Effective alliteration in line 3 - it reads very well.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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My thanks, Debra, for your review today. Enjoy the remainder of the weekend!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This has many powerful metaphors. The imagery will draw the reader in to identify with such experiences or of someone they know. Echartb Tolle addresses this situation often in his you tube presentations. Well written.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This has many powerful metaphors. The imagery will draw the reader in to identify with such experiences or of someone they know. Echartb Tolle addresses this situation often in his you tube presentations. Well written.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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My thanks, Liz, for your informative review today. Enjoy the remainder of the weekend!
Comment from lyenochka
Powerful choices of words! I like the "sequestered mind" - as so many are "sequestered" these days and while the body is sequestered, the mind tends to go places where it shouldn't - into "fear's unknown fields."
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Powerful choices of words! I like the "sequestered mind" - as so many are "sequestered" these days and while the body is sequestered, the mind tends to go places where it shouldn't - into "fear's unknown fields."
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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My thanks, Helen, for your encouraging review. Enjoy the remainder of the weekend!
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is a very clever and creative poem that you penned here. The picture accompanying this poem is interestingly profound as it brings your beautiful words to life. Best of luck in the contest. Have a wonderful night.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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This is a very clever and creative poem that you penned here. The picture accompanying this poem is interestingly profound as it brings your beautiful words to life. Best of luck in the contest. Have a wonderful night.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Bobby, and thanks for your wonderful review! Enjoy the remainder of the weekend! ;)
