Night Song
Serious attempt to write a rhyming poem14 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
Just for the sake of rhyming a poem I pick a word and then google for rhyming words for the word, such as Frog rhyming words. It is a good way to practice writing in rhyme.
Patricia
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Just for the sake of rhyming a poem I pick a word and then google for rhyming words for the word, such as Frog rhyming words. It is a good way to practice writing in rhyme.
Patricia
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Patricia, for the review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You have the rhyme here and maybe this is the start of a new journey for you, always match the rhyme with good meter and syllable count and you will be on your way Marjon, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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You have the rhyme here and maybe this is the start of a new journey for you, always match the rhyme with good meter and syllable count and you will be on your way Marjon, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Dolly, for the encouragement.
Comment from richie b
Marjon,
A very sophisticated poem flowing with fine
rhyming. Your words bear an enchanting verse.
Skillfully written. Well written.
Blessings,
Richie
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Marjon,
A very sophisticated poem flowing with fine
rhyming. Your words bear an enchanting verse.
Skillfully written. Well written.
Blessings,
Richie
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Richie, thank you very much for this review.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
This is beautiful when read out loud but to grasp the meaning was a bit elusive for me. But. I love your free verse and I am a free verse gal.
The imagery is masterfully done though and it is so beautifully done. I read it three times out loud and it is gorgeous - I just like the clearness of yournother types of poems. :).
I am giving you a six because even though you rhymed, it has such a freedom to it. I might have just confused you. Ha
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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This is beautiful when read out loud but to grasp the meaning was a bit elusive for me. But. I love your free verse and I am a free verse gal.
The imagery is masterfully done though and it is so beautifully done. I read it three times out loud and it is gorgeous - I just like the clearness of yournother types of poems. :).
I am giving you a six because even though you rhymed, it has such a freedom to it. I might have just confused you. Ha
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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You confused and delighted me, Margaret. This poem was written for a dear friend, and the last line was well-understood by him, but cannot be explained to others. That line, though, confuses others as well.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem about writing can sometimes be tough when the words on the page seems not to fit the thoughts inside our mind and it does help sometimes to do something else then everything seem to fall into place.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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A very well-written rhyming poem about writing can sometimes be tough when the words on the page seems not to fit the thoughts inside our mind and it does help sometimes to do something else then everything seem to fall into place.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Yes, I agree. I did just that, going to bed, leaving window and curtain open (it was a very hot night) and had some soft music playing. It did the trick: it all came to me then. Pen and paper did the rest.
Thanks, Sandra!
Comment from royowen
Yes, and I feel more at home with rhyme, because that's how my life, although there's a certain sameness at this time of restrictions. So well done my frien, this is beautifully rhymed, and with that great ambiguity. Lovely rhyming, an excellently written, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Yes, and I feel more at home with rhyme, because that's how my life, although there's a certain sameness at this time of restrictions. So well done my frien, this is beautifully rhymed, and with that great ambiguity. Lovely rhyming, an excellently written, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Oh Roy, I am extremely happy with especially YOUR review of this rhyming poem. After all, you are my example of a good rhyming poet. Thank you! And the six stars are a bonus.
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Bless you, you deserve it. Blessings Roy
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another ear to ear, Bless you.
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Uhuh
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Oh, you can say Uhuh as much as you want. I still mean it.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Marjon, this post may seem a little rough to you but it does contain some very poetic lines. My favorites are these:
"across the still unhearing night"
"so silent is the windstill air"
"now mute the singing sky "
As for the rest of it, just let it sit and stew for a day or two
and it will come out nice and tender.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Dear Marjon, this post may seem a little rough to you but it does contain some very poetic lines. My favorites are these:
"across the still unhearing night"
"so silent is the windstill air"
"now mute the singing sky "
As for the rest of it, just let it sit and stew for a day or two
and it will come out nice and tender.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Thanks, Suzanna! A useful review. I'll stew, promise.
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Thanks, Suzanna! A useful review. I'll stew, promise.
Comment from country ranch writer
I think we all are having problems with thinking with the world in xy history a termoil. We want to catch our thoughts and write the down as fast as we can least we forget
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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I think we all are having problems with thinking with the world in xy history a termoil. We want to catch our thoughts and write the down as fast as we can least we forget
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Yes, but my best ideas came in bed. Good I have a pen and some paper nearby, so I wrote notes.
Thanks for the review.
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Yes, but my best ideas came in bed. Good I have a pen and some paper nearby, so I wrote notes.
Thanks for the review.
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Smiles
Comment from estory
A first rate job with this form. I was reminded of Keats, of Shelley, maybe Landor or Bryant, deffinitely the romantics. I thought the echoing effects of the rhymes was excellent, very much like bells ringing. A nice fading echo at the end, drifting off into the night, Not I! Not I! I liked all the images too; the moonlight, making the words unsaid, the windstill air. estory
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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A first rate job with this form. I was reminded of Keats, of Shelley, maybe Landor or Bryant, deffinitely the romantics. I thought the echoing effects of the rhymes was excellent, very much like bells ringing. A nice fading echo at the end, drifting off into the night, Not I! Not I! I liked all the images too; the moonlight, making the words unsaid, the windstill air. estory
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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You are a very reliable reviewer of my poems. Thank you also for this review. The poem is (for me) somewhat out of the normal. I hardly do rhyming ones. I am so glad you liked it!
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You are a very reliable reviewer of my poems. Thank you also for this review. The poem is (for me) somewhat out of the normal. I hardly do rhyming ones. I am so glad you liked it!
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Your poetry is a few notches above average for Fanstory. I like reading people who have some knowledge and skill and put the work into the craft. estory
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You make me blush,...just a bit. I feel proud of this too. Thank you.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and
presentation, Marjon.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-A well written poem with
good imagery and rhyme:
"the shape of sighs for me."
-The poem has a smooth
flow and peaceful mood.
-You did a good job.
-If you ever need help
with rhyme, rhymezone.com
is a great site for that and
many other things.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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-Nice image and
presentation, Marjon.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-A well written poem with
good imagery and rhyme:
"the shape of sighs for me."
-The poem has a smooth
flow and peaceful mood.
-You did a good job.
-If you ever need help
with rhyme, rhymezone.com
is a great site for that and
many other things.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
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Thanks for the offer, the tip, and the encouraging review, Pam!
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You are very welcome, Marjon.
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:))
