Circle of life
grieving world15 total reviews
Comment from Mary Furlong
This piece really touched me, for the feelings expressed are so raw. It's easy to say pick up the pieces, but is far from easy to do, especially in this turbulent world. I can only say, God bless and keep writing. Eventually, your thoughts will bring comfort to you and to others as well.
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This piece really touched me, for the feelings expressed are so raw. It's easy to say pick up the pieces, but is far from easy to do, especially in this turbulent world. I can only say, God bless and keep writing. Eventually, your thoughts will bring comfort to you and to others as well.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Typo: (" We supposed to rethink our strategy ...")
**"S/B "We were supposed to rethink our
strategy" ...)
Typo: (" ... since he left me. I can't go over it.")
***S/B "I can't get over it"
One suggestion would be to break off with more paragraphs because I believe it will be easier to follow and read.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your father's passing but sweetheart he would not want you to be cloaked in a blanket of depression. He would want you happy and helping your mother get out of her blackness. He's with God so he is happy. My prayers go out to you and your family at this time.
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Typo: (" We supposed to rethink our strategy ...")
**"S/B "We were supposed to rethink our
strategy" ...)
Typo: (" ... since he left me. I can't go over it.")
***S/B "I can't get over it"
One suggestion would be to break off with more paragraphs because I believe it will be easier to follow and read.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your father's passing but sweetheart he would not want you to be cloaked in a blanket of depression. He would want you happy and helping your mother get out of her blackness. He's with God so he is happy. My prayers go out to you and your family at this time.
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
You are very bravely picking up the pieces, and you wrote about it very eloquently. Sometimes, writing about a difficult and absorbing problem, is just the cure we need. To give it words, to not keeping it whirling in your head, works very therapeutic.
It is terrible that we cannot go where we want to go because of this pandemic, but to prevent it from further spreading, we have no choice but endure it.
Well written! I wish you strength.
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You are very bravely picking up the pieces, and you wrote about it very eloquently. Sometimes, writing about a difficult and absorbing problem, is just the cure we need. To give it words, to not keeping it whirling in your head, works very therapeutic.
It is terrible that we cannot go where we want to go because of this pandemic, but to prevent it from further spreading, we have no choice but endure it.
Well written! I wish you strength.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from H. Darwin Reeves
You're in a difficult place and you've communicated your pain in a very descriptive and honest way. Grief is a process and everyone needs to go through the whole process. Trying to short-cut it makes it remain longer. I hope you will be able to do so. Thanks for sharing your pain in such descriptive words.
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You're in a difficult place and you've communicated your pain in a very descriptive and honest way. Grief is a process and everyone needs to go through the whole process. Trying to short-cut it makes it remain longer. I hope you will be able to do so. Thanks for sharing your pain in such descriptive words.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
My father also thought he could beat cancer and his determination was admirable and he probably lived longer than what was planned by God, but it killed him in the end. Writing is cathartic and it seems to put the pieces back together, I enjoyed your words here, love Dolly x
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My father also thought he could beat cancer and his determination was admirable and he probably lived longer than what was planned by God, but it killed him in the end. Writing is cathartic and it seems to put the pieces back together, I enjoyed your words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Alchera
..."This empty shell in which I rest indifferent"
So, it's not only external factors that stops you from moving and met your mother but above all your "ego" which keeps you back from moving onwards towards your dear living old mother. Go and meet her ! Blessings! Tony
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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..."This empty shell in which I rest indifferent"
So, it's not only external factors that stops you from moving and met your mother but above all your "ego" which keeps you back from moving onwards towards your dear living old mother. Go and meet her ! Blessings! Tony
Comment Written 09-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much, Mr. Tony.
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Welcome and blessings. Tony
Comment from poetwatch
You may want to view this line, Author. "My mom she (omit she or place a comma after mom) is depressed too, and no that I am not going home... she feels abandoned." Were you trying to write "and knows"? It is a good story because I've been trying to "pick up the pieces and write," too. Good entry for the What Happened contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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You may want to view this line, Author. "My mom she (omit she or place a comma after mom) is depressed too, and no that I am not going home... she feels abandoned." Were you trying to write "and knows"? It is a good story because I've been trying to "pick up the pieces and write," too. Good entry for the What Happened contest.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the grammar suggestions.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Yes, write--even though it it isn't the same as being with family. It allows you to pick up the pieces and put them down on paper. I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. You did a great job telling your story around the prompt. I pray that writing and sharing helps some. Thank you and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
I can't go ( get ) over it.
maybe the season is slinked (linked ) in with
and no ( now ) that I
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Yes, write--even though it it isn't the same as being with family. It allows you to pick up the pieces and put them down on paper. I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. You did a great job telling your story around the prompt. I pray that writing and sharing helps some. Thank you and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
I can't go ( get ) over it.
maybe the season is slinked (linked ) in with
and no ( now ) that I
Comment Written 09-Jul-2020
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have stated something which is a bugaboo of mine. When I was working at the substance abuse, psych hospital and someone was having an anxiety attack or some kind of aggitation, people would say, to quote you: "inhale- exhale" as you say, I agree "Your broken heart can't be mended as saying one, two, three and inhale- exhale". the other one is, "don't cry...everything is going to be all right. I guess after we grieve as long as we need to at our won ace then we can pick up the pieces. Well written.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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You have stated something which is a bugaboo of mine. When I was working at the substance abuse, psych hospital and someone was having an anxiety attack or some kind of aggitation, people would say, to quote you: "inhale- exhale" as you say, I agree "Your broken heart can't be mended as saying one, two, three and inhale- exhale". the other one is, "don't cry...everything is going to be all right. I guess after we grieve as long as we need to at our won ace then we can pick up the pieces. Well written.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much Liz, for your wonderful and encouraging review. I am glad that you got my point.
Comment from BethShelby
People need time to grieve and when others push them to pick up the pieces they feel hurt and think others don't understand. Time does heal and there will come a time to pick up the pieces and mover up but everyone much do it at their own speed. I 'm sorry about your father. I know it hurts. What would he want you to do? In your heart I'll be you know. Nicely written entry.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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People need time to grieve and when others push them to pick up the pieces they feel hurt and think others don't understand. Time does heal and there will come a time to pick up the pieces and mover up but everyone much do it at their own speed. I 'm sorry about your father. I know it hurts. What would he want you to do? In your heart I'll be you know. Nicely written entry.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much Beth, for this wonderfully written review.
