Curiosity killed the cat
knock, knock15 total reviews
Comment from Bichon
Haha, I really liked this entry into the contest. Your writing always has a specific style, and always carries through in a funny and great fashion. It seems someone was unable to resist the red bull!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2020
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Haha, I really liked this entry into the contest. Your writing always has a specific style, and always carries through in a funny and great fashion. It seems someone was unable to resist the red bull!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2020
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Yup, I am a fun of Energizers:) my favorite is NOS the blue one.
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is a very clever and funny story and the ending is priceless. The photo is perfect. I did find a typo, "We are ordered to not to leave the house". Other than this tiny mistake this is a very good write. Best of luck in the contest.
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This is a very clever and funny story and the ending is priceless. The photo is perfect. I did find a typo, "We are ordered to not to leave the house". Other than this tiny mistake this is a very good write. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It's a scary world out there, and I really don't want any part of it. Not until they come up with a dead cert injection that will stop me getting it. It's not only the virus these days, there are too many nasties happening. Your story underlined the danger of opening that door when you don't know the person on the other side ... even if he/she is bringing a case of Red Bull. (Caramal or pink Gin in my case) :)) I enjoyed this short story, good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
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It's a scary world out there, and I really don't want any part of it. Not until they come up with a dead cert injection that will stop me getting it. It's not only the virus these days, there are too many nasties happening. Your story underlined the danger of opening that door when you don't know the person on the other side ... even if he/she is bringing a case of Red Bull. (Caramal or pink Gin in my case) :)) I enjoyed this short story, good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
Comment from F. William Lester
Interesting story. I thought the idea of trying to shove the cans under the door was a good visual. Made me chuckle.
I got a little confused at the end. You reference "the student opened the door." I assume that was you or whoever the main character was. You had been speaking in the first person and then at this point changed to the third person. In a piece this short, stick with first or third. Don't switch.
The next line of dialog, "...I got Corona..." I assume you mean the beer and the lady with bat wings is speaking.
Who met his destiny? I thought the main character was a woman, but I assume by the final sentence the main character was a man. Your use of gender was not clear. It would also help if you used quotation marks and a few dialog tags to maintain clarity between speakers.
Good job. The story has potential. Thanks for the read. Good luck. Good writing.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Interesting story. I thought the idea of trying to shove the cans under the door was a good visual. Made me chuckle.
I got a little confused at the end. You reference "the student opened the door." I assume that was you or whoever the main character was. You had been speaking in the first person and then at this point changed to the third person. In a piece this short, stick with first or third. Don't switch.
The next line of dialog, "...I got Corona..." I assume you mean the beer and the lady with bat wings is speaking.
Who met his destiny? I thought the main character was a woman, but I assume by the final sentence the main character was a man. Your use of gender was not clear. It would also help if you used quotation marks and a few dialog tags to maintain clarity between speakers.
Good job. The story has potential. Thanks for the read. Good luck. Good writing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Corona has double significance, could be the beer or the virus:)
Comment from flylikeaneagle
PenPal: intense story with your dialogue. One has red bull and the other corona virus. Maybe, they saw each other and melted into a lustful slush of a time. They have wings and are flying... lol. Should stand out for the contest. ************** LOL ... extra ************* flylikeaneagle
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PenPal: intense story with your dialogue. One has red bull and the other corona virus. Maybe, they saw each other and melted into a lustful slush of a time. They have wings and are flying... lol. Should stand out for the contest. ************** LOL ... extra ************* flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
Comment from Mia Twysted
This is an unusual piece. I feel so much paranoia radiating off these words. It speaks so well to the current times and the way things used to be and the messed up way they are now.
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This is an unusual piece. I feel so much paranoia radiating off these words. It speaks so well to the current times and the way things used to be and the messed up way they are now.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
Comment from Patty Palmer
Yep! Another story about the virus! LOL What else is there to write about these days? It has affected everyone in the world! I, myself, am waiting for the movie to come out! I want Jennifer Aniston to play me! LOL
Good luck with the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Yep! Another story about the virus! LOL What else is there to write about these days? It has affected everyone in the world! I, myself, am waiting for the movie to come out! I want Jennifer Aniston to play me! LOL
Good luck with the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Good and funny Ms. Patty Plamer:) playing Jennifer Aniston, yup made me laugh today, so thank you.
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You're welcome!!
Patty
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Intriguing entry for the
Sentence writing prompt contest. You followed the rules well.
His destiny has Corona? Bummer. LoL pretty funny.
You managed to tell a story in 200 words. Good job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Hello, anonymous,
Intriguing entry for the
Sentence writing prompt contest. You followed the rules well.
His destiny has Corona? Bummer. LoL pretty funny.
You managed to tell a story in 200 words. Good job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much, as usual I really appreciate your reviews :)
Comment from Loren .
Ha, ha. Good take on a male student's mind set and how easily, with a little distraction can be changed so easily. You did a great job in showing the student's nerves in his self-dialogue. It actually felt jittery and anxious. Loren
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Ha, ha. Good take on a male student's mind set and how easily, with a little distraction can be changed so easily. You did a great job in showing the student's nerves in his self-dialogue. It actually felt jittery and anxious. Loren
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Ha, Ha, ha touche, that was my intention the whole time:)
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is an unusual entry for the Sentence writing prompt. It should do well in the contest with its surprise ending. I wish you the best of luck!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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This is an unusual entry for the Sentence writing prompt. It should do well in the contest with its surprise ending. I wish you the best of luck!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much Ms. Rebecca:)
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You're welcome.
