St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "St. Louis Chapter 28 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
I am catching this in the middle, but I am drawn to the characters and the situation already. I can feel the tension, the worry, and the determination of this group. Mac has some good friends.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
  |
I am catching this in the middle, but I am drawn to the characters and the situation already. I can feel the tension, the worry, and the determination of this group. Mac has some good friends.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review. I am sorry you had to read this after the promotion had ended.
Comment from richie b
Barbara,
You have a lot going on in this chapter. Your handling
of the dialogue is impressive. You kept it balanced and
let the story move with the dialogue pace.
To keep your characters individuals with their own
personality is no easy task. To have them all talking to
each other and making sense is a credit to your writing
skills.
You have the reader's attention with Mac's kidnapping.
Your story has reached a peak and you have set this
scenario well.
Blessings,
Richie b
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
|
Barbara,
You have a lot going on in this chapter. Your handling
of the dialogue is impressive. You kept it balanced and
let the story move with the dialogue pace.
To keep your characters individuals with their own
personality is no easy task. To have them all talking to
each other and making sense is a credit to your writing
skills.
You have the reader's attention with Mac's kidnapping.
Your story has reached a peak and you have set this
scenario well.
Blessings,
Richie b
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the encouragement. This review caused me to smile. Thank you.
-
You are most welcome!
Comment from Sally Law
Another good chapter in the search for Mackenzie. Logan has it bad alright. I love romance tucked away in drama. It really adds to the storyline.
A few suggestions for your consideration.
-"How are (we) getting her back?" Missing word.
-"No... you're in love with her!"
-"You Betty Crocker?" May I suggest: "So now we have another Betty Crocker?" Clearer.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine work. Sorry to be so late with this. I hope you and yours are well. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
|
Another good chapter in the search for Mackenzie. Logan has it bad alright. I love romance tucked away in drama. It really adds to the storyline.
A few suggestions for your consideration.
-"How are (we) getting her back?" Missing word.
-"No... you're in love with her!"
-"You Betty Crocker?" May I suggest: "So now we have another Betty Crocker?" Clearer.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine work. Sorry to be so late with this. I hope you and yours are well. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for pointing out areas that need to be rechecked. I appreciate the help.
-
You are very welcome. Sal :)
Comment from estory
The dialogue is stellar here, we get all these roiling emotions in all the different characters and their unique perspectives coming out through it. We see the romantic interests and rivalries between some of the officers, we see the concern for Mackenzie and the determination to get her back. The suspense seems to build through this chapter and we seem to be heading for a bang up chapter to come. estory
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
|
The dialogue is stellar here, we get all these roiling emotions in all the different characters and their unique perspectives coming out through it. We see the romantic interests and rivalries between some of the officers, we see the concern for Mackenzie and the determination to get her back. The suspense seems to build through this chapter and we seem to be heading for a bang up chapter to come. estory
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think this is probably your best ever book, Barbara. It is so well written, the plot keeps us hanging, wondering why Mac is being targeted, and now she's been kidnapped by highly trained people. All this and somehow it has to be tied in with Logan's sister's murder. I draw the line at Edgar being shot, whoever did that is dead-meat! Well done, my friend, I can't wait for the next part. I think there is a missing word in the sentence below. :)) Sandra xx
How (are) we getting her back?"
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
 |
I think this is probably your best ever book, Barbara. It is so well written, the plot keeps us hanging, wondering why Mac is being targeted, and now she's been kidnapped by highly trained people. All this and somehow it has to be tied in with Logan's sister's murder. I draw the line at Edgar being shot, whoever did that is dead-meat! Well done, my friend, I can't wait for the next part. I think there is a missing word in the sentence below. :)) Sandra xx
How (are) we getting her back?"
Comment Written 01-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the encouragement. I've had a lot of readers tell me my novel, 'Secrets of My Confederate Soldier'was my best, so I am glad I am in that category. Thank you!
Comment from Margaret Bednar
""I heard the noisy little dog when I walked in. Where's the big guy?"
Do you mean "I didn't hear..."?
I'm jumping in late, so the characters are new to me, but I think you have woven in enough detail that I get the flavor of them. They are not "flat". I am looking forward to the next part of this chapter. I really can't find any cons. I need to try and go back and read this, but I will be with you going forward...
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
|
""I heard the noisy little dog when I walked in. Where's the big guy?"
Do you mean "I didn't hear..."?
I'm jumping in late, so the characters are new to me, but I think you have woven in enough detail that I get the flavor of them. They are not "flat". I am looking forward to the next part of this chapter. I really can't find any cons. I need to try and go back and read this, but I will be with you going forward...
Comment Written 01-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
Welcome and thank you. No, I meant what I wrote. He heard the little dog, but the big dog was no where around.
-
Oh sorry. I forgot about the little one.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Lots of active dialogue here. Logan's team sounds dedicated to the quest to find Logan. I think those of us who have been reading this serially are going to stay tuned for the next part for sure! I only noticed this, on the last line, that I would put a comma after the word Me. Great addition to your novel.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
|
Lots of active dialogue here. Logan's team sounds dedicated to the quest to find Logan. I think those of us who have been reading this serially are going to stay tuned for the next part for sure! I only noticed this, on the last line, that I would put a comma after the word Me. Great addition to your novel.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review. I will check that area. I see your point with the comma.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow-what a secret army for feisty Mac. I hope they will find her fast. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter and with your writings.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
|
Wow-what a secret army for feisty Mac. I hope they will find her fast. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter and with your writings.
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
This is a really cool addition to your story.
I cannot imagine what Logan and the rest of these guys must be feeling. These are all rough, tough macho Alpha-men who think they have been trained to handle every situation.
I imagine they will be a little cross until everything is worked out THEIR way.
Nicely written and just frustrating enough.
One note:
--> This is a completely (secret) mission. Only us, Bill and Mark know about it."
Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
|
Barbara,
This is a really cool addition to your story.
I cannot imagine what Logan and the rest of these guys must be feeling. These are all rough, tough macho Alpha-men who think they have been trained to handle every situation.
I imagine they will be a little cross until everything is worked out THEIR way.
Nicely written and just frustrating enough.
One note:
--> This is a completely (secret) mission. Only us, Bill and Mark know about it."
Thanks so much!
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
I have removed that 'e'. Thank you for the catch. I always appreciate your special eye for errrors.
Comment from Ben Colder
She can be a hand-full at times. Now comes to fun part. Getting her to surface and we will go from there. I must say things seemed calm about finding the supper.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK Barb.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
|
She can be a hand-full at times. Now comes to fun part. Getting her to surface and we will go from there. I must say things seemed calm about finding the supper.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK Barb.
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review and support.
