Reviews from

The Edge of Convenience

multiverse unity

165 total reviews 
Comment from Irish Rain
Excellent
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I believe that this is how it
really is.
Then we twist and turn it to our
political, or religious viewpoint...
and the center can't hold.
I think when we die...we see the truth.
Wonderful poem,
blessings...

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from lightink
Excellent
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This is a fascinating and thought provoking piece.
First of all, the idea of looking for a personal pledge - mimicking the Pledge of Allegiance - is both very playful and soul defining.
Your piece in a way reminds me of Star Tracks TGN - inclusive in a deeply satisfying manner in every dimension (the world, universe and all multiverses) - not specifying god, because its beyond any religion, it includes the essence or principal of them - goodwill towards all, which I very much appreciate.
The world choice neutral is fascinating, because it does suggest some sort of detachment, however the complete lack of favoritism is a pretty important aspect of it - and it definitely goes well with the theme of 'impersonal God' level of consciousness.
The one word I was questioning - more for the sake of my alignment with this poem - than for the sake of the poem itself, is 'fealty'. I'd prefer more of a holographic type of equality (any small piece fully contains the whole :), than something that sounds subservient to me. Serving the whole = serving myself...in my mind :). Anyways, quite engaging philosophical piece! Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from Dick Waters
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A very interesting read, and a very interesting twist on a common set of words.
The piece is appropriate for this world that we live in at this time. It would be nice if we were all together and not behaving in a "ME" world.
When you think of the universe...have you thought of what is beyond it? Everything we know, has something beyond it, which may be one of the reasons we believe there is a Heaven and a Hell.
Your poem reached me, and I thought I would share my reaction.
Seeing how it was ranked, I'm not alone.
Keep writing!
(From a Newbie - Dick)

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
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This poem was like a breath of fresh air and it was greatly aided by the image you chose. I enjoyed reading the well chosen words. It is an excellent contest entry in the free verse style.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
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Need a seven for this one. I appalude you for this excellent poem. The art work is great as well. I find no fault and compliment the author for a job well done.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from Mary Furlong
Excellent
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This is a remarkable poem. You didn't have to explain the similarity to the pledge of allegiance; it was abundantly clear. Very well done. One thing though. You mention near rhymes. I didn't hear them. ???

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from Therese Caron
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I find this poem unbelievably creative, what a lot of thought went into it! I had to look up fealty right away - I can't stand when I do not know a word! I have an 11-month old grandchild and I talk to him seriously about changing this world we are leaving him. He looks right into my eyes, and really appears to listen. I decided to say it to him every day, so he realizes that love and peace are endangered species on this earth. Thank you for this wonderful poem. It touched my heart.

Blessings,
Terry

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from CHANYA MASHENGU
Excellent
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I liked the author sentiments in striving for peace and harmony.

The choice of words in relation to the message was equally good. Well summarised.

I appreciated the involvement of the galaxy as part of God's creation of universe

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020

Comment from kleck140
Excellent
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Your poem is written from the heart.
it has a lot of meaning and touched my spirit.
Thank you for sharing your well written poem.
I am trying to learn here and need lots of good writing like yours.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2020

Comment from sherrygreywolf
Excellent
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Inspired not only by the Pledge of Allegiance but Star Trek, or so it seems to me. Nice job on this entry into the Free Verse Poetry contest. Stay safe and healthy in these troubling times.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2020