The Edge of Convenience
multiverse unity165 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
I love the picture and think the words are very clever as well. I think this is a very well written poem with a lot of colour thrown in. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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I love the picture and think the words are very clever as well. I think this is a very well written poem with a lot of colour thrown in. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.
Comment Written 22-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for the review. I appreciate your words very much. Best of luck to you as well!
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I enjoyed reading your poem, Opal, I can see from your author's notes, you've put a lot of thought into it. It would be lovely if it were possible for all life to live in peace, regardless of faith, or colour. Perhaps one day it will be so, but I can't see it coming any time soon. Well done! :))Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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I enjoyed reading your poem, Opal, I can see from your author's notes, you've put a lot of thought into it. It would be lovely if it were possible for all life to live in peace, regardless of faith, or colour. Perhaps one day it will be so, but I can't see it coming any time soon. Well done! :))Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Hello Sandra and thank you kindly for your review. Yes, I truly have thought in depth about this concept and intend to write about it more. I have faith we will one day reach this Eden. Best wishes to you!
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from Vanna1
The word fealty means a vow to God so to speak so the second line seems repeated. The inspiration is nice to have a higher thinking on base matters of materialism around us.
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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The word fealty means a vow to God so to speak so the second line seems repeated. The inspiration is nice to have a higher thinking on base matters of materialism around us.
Comment Written 22-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Yes. A fealty is synonymous with a pledge or a vow and reads, ? formal acknowledgement of loyalty to a lord?. Therefore vowing fealty is to my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ in addition to ?the galaxy and world(s) in which I inhabit.? God is mentioned near the end.. I respect your opinion and your review, however, I believe you have interpreted this incorrectly if redundancy has been seen. Best wishes to you. Thank you for turning the thought gears.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a nice pledge which includes all people of this world and all the possible words there are. It encompasses the ideas of freedom, equality and peace.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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This is a nice pledge which includes all people of this world and all the possible words there are. It encompasses the ideas of freedom, equality and peace.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 22-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for your review. I am happy the poem resonated with you. Best wishes to you.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
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My pleasure, Opal. Have a good weekend.
Joan
Comment from Ogden
You made a good deal, Opal Rose. Now, all you have to do is obey your covenant with God. As long as you do, you should have smooth sailing for the rest of your life.
(There's no point to wish you good luck,but I'm pulling for you, anyway.
Don
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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You made a good deal, Opal Rose. Now, all you have to do is obey your covenant with God. As long as you do, you should have smooth sailing for the rest of your life.
(There's no point to wish you good luck,but I'm pulling for you, anyway.
Don
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you for your words Don. I appreciate them dearly. Best wishes to you.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from Patty Palmer
I knew as I started to read your poem that it was to do with the Pledge of Allegiance. Your words feel so right! This poem is has a soothing effect. Good luck with the contest!
God bless!
Patty
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I knew as I started to read your poem that it was to do with the Pledge of Allegiance. Your words feel so right! This poem is has a soothing effect. Good luck with the contest!
God bless!
Patty
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you Patty for your words. I am pleased to know it has had this effect on you. Best wishes to you and God Bless.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
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You're welcome! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Patty
Comment from R.Peyregne
I really enjoy what you have done here. It really gave me cause to pause. I have to admit, I had to look up some of the words to understand the context, but you are right on, and I love the flow. Great Job!
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I really enjoy what you have done here. It really gave me cause to pause. I have to admit, I had to look up some of the words to understand the context, but you are right on, and I love the flow. Great Job!
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you so much for this nice review. I am happy to hear you researched terms so you could fully grasp my intended purpose of this poem. I am pleased you enjoyed it. Best wishes in all of your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from Kenneth Gagne
I think that the overall message is provocative as a thought experiment and admirable as something for which to strive, although collectively getting to that point would necessarily be inconvenient in many ways. Considering how people respond to even minor inconveniences, if we are on the edge referenced in the title and elaborated upon in your notes, then we've been and will be there for quite some time. I can't say that's the most uplifting thought, but no one said that change was easy.
To inhabit something is to live in or occupy it, so the "in which" in the second line is redundant. The Pledge of Allegiance has always had something of a robotic quality to me (and not just because of years spent with roomfuls of people reciting it in unison with next to no inflection), which unfortunately carries over to this poem. I don't want to say that the overall idea is too complex to be expressed in poetry, but I think it's too complex for this specific form. I don't know what the ideal one would be, but whichever you chose, I think it would be beneficial to have it illustrate, for example, what "acceptance of everything and everyone" looks like across galaxies/worlds or elaborate on what it takes (or took) to achieve a/the "Consolidated Governance."
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reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I think that the overall message is provocative as a thought experiment and admirable as something for which to strive, although collectively getting to that point would necessarily be inconvenient in many ways. Considering how people respond to even minor inconveniences, if we are on the edge referenced in the title and elaborated upon in your notes, then we've been and will be there for quite some time. I can't say that's the most uplifting thought, but no one said that change was easy.
To inhabit something is to live in or occupy it, so the "in which" in the second line is redundant. The Pledge of Allegiance has always had something of a robotic quality to me (and not just because of years spent with roomfuls of people reciting it in unison with next to no inflection), which unfortunately carries over to this poem. I don't want to say that the overall idea is too complex to be expressed in poetry, but I think it's too complex for this specific form. I don't know what the ideal one would be, but whichever you chose, I think it would be beneficial to have it illustrate, for example, what "acceptance of everything and everyone" looks like across galaxies/worlds or elaborate on what it takes (or took) to achieve a/the "Consolidated Governance."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you for sharing your opinions. You found this provocative as in edgy and exciting or instigating and provoking? I can assure you that this free-verse poem was written from a most positive intention. It seems my theory of multiverse harmony does not resonate well with you and that is alright. The words found within The Edge of Convenience go much further than this writing contest. Your words have made me peer within this notion from a different viewpoint. Thank you for that. Philosophical complexity and art works in general, in all forms, do not always wear well on absolutely everyone. I do appreciate this poem seemed to have sparked such a strong reaction from you. It seems to be doing its intended job; to make the reader THINK. My poetry is the foundation to many deep, philosophical theories that consume me. Perhaps it?s time poetry is regularly this complex. :) Best wishes in all of your writing endeavors. Stay bold.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
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I found it provocative as in instigating and provoking. If it were so in the former sense, I don't think my reaction to it would have been as strong, and this exchange might not have taken place. Whether that's good or bad is not for me to say, but I appreciate your time regardless. Best wishes to you as well.
Comment from pharp
Opal,
Outstanding job in the penning of this free verse. As I was reading your poem, somehow it reminded me of the Pledge of Allegiance, afterwards I read your author's notes and I can why. A most enjoyable read, thanks for sharing. The very best to you in the contest. Welcome to Fanstory...
Blessings...Portia
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Opal,
Outstanding job in the penning of this free verse. As I was reading your poem, somehow it reminded me of the Pledge of Allegiance, afterwards I read your author's notes and I can why. A most enjoyable read, thanks for sharing. The very best to you in the contest. Welcome to Fanstory...
Blessings...Portia
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you for your kind words and warm welcome. I am happy you enjoyed this piece. Best wishes to you as well.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from ameen786
Hello Opal, great message in your poem and I whole-heartedly agree; rich in vocabulary and beautifully phrased verse; thanks for sharing and good luck.
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello Opal, great message in your poem and I whole-heartedly agree; rich in vocabulary and beautifully phrased verse; thanks for sharing and good luck.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello! Thank you for your kind words. I?m happy you enjoyed it. Best wishes in all of your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
