The Corona saga
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Scavenger Hunt"to keep my sanity in time of pandemic
11 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
You are so right about the fur babies. Love my dog; talk to him a lot; in fact every morning. Things will get back to normal in time; I don't know if it will ever be the same as before, but I'm sure in time we will see the end of this....probably next year.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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You are so right about the fur babies. Love my dog; talk to him a lot; in fact every morning. Things will get back to normal in time; I don't know if it will ever be the same as before, but I'm sure in time we will see the end of this....probably next year.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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I am not sure, I get the feeling that people are not going to go back to normal, from now own the fear of being touched by the virus will be constant
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a good text. Somehow it manages to show how our whole lives have been jumbled up like a huge pile of fishig net, and insinuates that we still have a long way to go before we untangle ourselves.
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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This is a good text. Somehow it manages to show how our whole lives have been jumbled up like a huge pile of fishig net, and insinuates that we still have a long way to go before we untangle ourselves.
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Hi Katherine you are so right, I can't wait to come back to normal.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this entry, Iza. I enjoyed reading it. I like how you described your walk around your neighborhood and all the deliveries you have seen. I liked the part about the kitties sunning in windows, too. Thanks for sharing. Stay safe.
Respectfully, Jan
Coronella [ graces ]
to tell the true [ truth ]
stack pile of black bags [ delete stack ]
pilled garbage [ piled ]
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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You did a great job with this entry, Iza. I enjoyed reading it. I like how you described your walk around your neighborhood and all the deliveries you have seen. I liked the part about the kitties sunning in windows, too. Thanks for sharing. Stay safe.
Respectfully, Jan
Coronella [ graces ]
to tell the true [ truth ]
stack pile of black bags [ delete stack ]
pilled garbage [ piled ]
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Jan, thank you so much for your review and for the corrections:) have a wonderful day.
Comment from Spitfire
I love to hear there's a wait list to adopt kitties. Something coming from this after all. When I lived in a house and put the recycle box out, construction workers would come back at night and so scavenger hunts. Occasionally, I was tempted to pick up something like a discarded end table.
I like to be out in sunlight too at least for an hour if it's not to hot.
A lot of humor spots in this read. Keep writing about this bitch. LOL
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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I love to hear there's a wait list to adopt kitties. Something coming from this after all. When I lived in a house and put the recycle box out, construction workers would come back at night and so scavenger hunts. Occasionally, I was tempted to pick up something like a discarded end table.
I like to be out in sunlight too at least for an hour if it's not to hot.
A lot of humor spots in this read. Keep writing about this bitch. LOL
Comment Written 30-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review, and keep enjoying the sun, apparently vitamin D kills it:)
Comment from DeboraDyess
Oh, my gosh! I'm laughing so hard at your observations! YES! It was all indoor stuff before the virus and NOW we're whining that we can't go outside or hang out. My kids were hanging out VIRTUALLY before!
Coronella grace us with her visit>> Coronella grace(d) us with her visit
still laughing...
may see singles digits like me>> either may see single() digits like me>> OR << may see singles ()like me>>
BATMAN!? Hahahahahahahaaaaa! That's awesome!
all I want is to stack all the fresh>>Not sure about the word choice 'stack'. Do you mean 'stash?
pilled garbage bags>>piled, no double 'l'. That's like the word 'pill'.
My people, from the condo, are spending>>Not 100% sure, but I don't think you need the commas.
Why I am saying this? >>Why am I saying this?
To tell you the true,>>To tell you the truth
what so over>>whatsoever
city workers picks it>>city workers pick() it up OR city worker() picks it up
literary waiting>>literally waiting
And still laughing! Except.......
I have a fur baby that is COSTING me my sanity! lol. He is a rescuedog who was first on the euth list. I do know why now that he's mine. If the door opens, he bolts. The animal control officer has brought him home of often that she promised me a ticket if it happens again! I walk him about 2 miles per day, once in the morning and once at night with a friend who also has a rescue dog.
And our cats LOVE our dog. :)
Blessings and hugs (even though I'm not a tree!)
Deb
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Oh, my gosh! I'm laughing so hard at your observations! YES! It was all indoor stuff before the virus and NOW we're whining that we can't go outside or hang out. My kids were hanging out VIRTUALLY before!
Coronella grace us with her visit>> Coronella grace(d) us with her visit
still laughing...
may see singles digits like me>> either may see single() digits like me>> OR << may see singles ()like me>>
BATMAN!? Hahahahahahahaaaaa! That's awesome!
all I want is to stack all the fresh>>Not sure about the word choice 'stack'. Do you mean 'stash?
pilled garbage bags>>piled, no double 'l'. That's like the word 'pill'.
My people, from the condo, are spending>>Not 100% sure, but I don't think you need the commas.
Why I am saying this? >>Why am I saying this?
To tell you the true,>>To tell you the truth
what so over>>whatsoever
city workers picks it>>city workers pick() it up OR city worker() picks it up
literary waiting>>literally waiting
And still laughing! Except.......
I have a fur baby that is COSTING me my sanity! lol. He is a rescuedog who was first on the euth list. I do know why now that he's mine. If the door opens, he bolts. The animal control officer has brought him home of often that she promised me a ticket if it happens again! I walk him about 2 miles per day, once in the morning and once at night with a friend who also has a rescue dog.
And our cats LOVE our dog. :)
Blessings and hugs (even though I'm not a tree!)
Deb
Comment Written 30-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Thank you Deb so much for your cheerful review, you really made laugh, and your rescue sounds full of mischief like my rescue kitties.
Comment from estory
I think it's an interesting look at how people react to staying at home in the crisis. Ordering from Amazon. Getting affection from their pets. Walking around the neighborhood. Soaking in that sunshine. you can tell a lot from the garbage. What hobbies they have, what kind of pets they own, what they like to eat or what style of furniture they have in their house; and that can inadvertently tell us about their personality; whether they are introverts or extroverts. Maybe the cats will keep us sane in the crisis. estory
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
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I think it's an interesting look at how people react to staying at home in the crisis. Ordering from Amazon. Getting affection from their pets. Walking around the neighborhood. Soaking in that sunshine. you can tell a lot from the garbage. What hobbies they have, what kind of pets they own, what they like to eat or what style of furniture they have in their house; and that can inadvertently tell us about their personality; whether they are introverts or extroverts. Maybe the cats will keep us sane in the crisis. estory
Comment Written 30-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
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Let' hope so:) for now they are doing a wonderful job.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Love reading about your trip out.
"Since Coronella grace us with her visit," (graced)
"So during one of this walks, I noticed the garbage bags in one of the streets from my neighborhood" (one of theses walks)
"It's 8 pm and on both sides of the street you can see nicely pilled garbage bags - trash and recycle" (nicely piled)
"My first stop it's a nicely stack pile of black bags;" (stop is a nicely stacked)
"Why I am saying this? Hm, I am" (Hmm)
"To tell you the true, I have not seen any Amazon" (the truth)
"There is no garbage what so over." (garbage whatsoever)
"before the city workers picks it up." (pick)
"my friend who has an animal shelter, than since Coronella hit us, there are no pets in the shelter. " (that since)
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Love reading about your trip out.
"Since Coronella grace us with her visit," (graced)
"So during one of this walks, I noticed the garbage bags in one of the streets from my neighborhood" (one of theses walks)
"It's 8 pm and on both sides of the street you can see nicely pilled garbage bags - trash and recycle" (nicely piled)
"My first stop it's a nicely stack pile of black bags;" (stop is a nicely stacked)
"Why I am saying this? Hm, I am" (Hmm)
"To tell you the true, I have not seen any Amazon" (the truth)
"There is no garbage what so over." (garbage whatsoever)
"before the city workers picks it up." (pick)
"my friend who has an animal shelter, than since Coronella hit us, there are no pets in the shelter. " (that since)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Thank you so much Rebecca for the wonderful review and corrections.
Comment from royowen
I think if there are people who live on their own, are probably more likely to want a pet, particularly if they are lonely, they will need a pet, someone to love, who will love them back. Some people will never be the same after this passes. Well done, Iza, blessings, Roy
Typo , Since Coronella grace(d) us 2: Humanity (it's) still saved. Is
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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I think if there are people who live on their own, are probably more likely to want a pet, particularly if they are lonely, they will need a pet, someone to love, who will love them back. Some people will never be the same after this passes. Well done, Iza, blessings, Roy
Typo , Since Coronella grace(d) us 2: Humanity (it's) still saved. Is
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Thank you so much, Mr. Roy.
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Welcome
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Lol! Is that a customized garbage can on your cover image?? Lollllll!
Wonderful briefing. Beautiful story! I read again and again. Indeed Coronella has brought out the very best in humanity. You've written so well.
Some few corrections. In : "because Coronella" you may want add an "of" before Coronella.
To tell the truth will be a better replacement for, "To tell you the true."
For this: I decided to put them in the section essential workers. A comma or a colon, semi-colon or an em dash after section would make it read better.
My very best wishes!
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Lol! Is that a customized garbage can on your cover image?? Lollllll!
Wonderful briefing. Beautiful story! I read again and again. Indeed Coronella has brought out the very best in humanity. You've written so well.
Some few corrections. In : "because Coronella" you may want add an "of" before Coronella.
To tell the truth will be a better replacement for, "To tell you the true."
For this: I decided to put them in the section essential workers. A comma or a colon, semi-colon or an em dash after section would make it read better.
My very best wishes!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Thank you so much for your precious corrections.
Comment from Eve Vasa
Hello, I like your style, getting your readers to do the editing for you. I think the idea is good for a story, and you draw lots of interesting points from the virus. It is only going to be contained for so long, but it's given authorities a reprieve to get organized, and we are organized in Australia, I think every one that needs a ventilator will be able to get one now.
It is hard to review this in some ways, for me, because it is written for FS specifically. I'm not saying that as a criticism, there are different reasons for being here. But it would not find representation in the bigger world of literature, not unless you wanted to pay for it yourself, and I would think long and hard about doing that.
But here are a few tips for when you're ready to take that leap and send a manuscript off to a publisher, or agent, if you can be so lucky as to find one without a publisher.
Examples:
Let me assure you, (that-remove) they were not homeless, but my neighbors ...(missing space) maybe (had) too much Maria Huanita or (video gaming to death- this is where I stumbled for meaning, maybe try, or video-gamed themselves to death.) My conclusion is: video games (can keep-this is passive voice, try writing in active voice here. So it would read, video games keep) you stuck in time, immune to reality.
There was also a lot of the perpendicular pronoun, lol
I
I, I, I,
It gets jarring so I would write some of it out.
Exampe:
Hm, (I am-remove) working from home (so-remove) I am seeing
Try:
Hmm ... working from home, I'm seeing
Brevity is definitely a plus for modern writing.
Hope that helps and have a great day, and like you, I see some huge plusses to the virus.
Cheers, Eve.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Hello, I like your style, getting your readers to do the editing for you. I think the idea is good for a story, and you draw lots of interesting points from the virus. It is only going to be contained for so long, but it's given authorities a reprieve to get organized, and we are organized in Australia, I think every one that needs a ventilator will be able to get one now.
It is hard to review this in some ways, for me, because it is written for FS specifically. I'm not saying that as a criticism, there are different reasons for being here. But it would not find representation in the bigger world of literature, not unless you wanted to pay for it yourself, and I would think long and hard about doing that.
But here are a few tips for when you're ready to take that leap and send a manuscript off to a publisher, or agent, if you can be so lucky as to find one without a publisher.
Examples:
Let me assure you, (that-remove) they were not homeless, but my neighbors ...(missing space) maybe (had) too much Maria Huanita or (video gaming to death- this is where I stumbled for meaning, maybe try, or video-gamed themselves to death.) My conclusion is: video games (can keep-this is passive voice, try writing in active voice here. So it would read, video games keep) you stuck in time, immune to reality.
There was also a lot of the perpendicular pronoun, lol
I
I, I, I,
It gets jarring so I would write some of it out.
Exampe:
Hm, (I am-remove) working from home (so-remove) I am seeing
Try:
Hmm ... working from home, I'm seeing
Brevity is definitely a plus for modern writing.
Hope that helps and have a great day, and like you, I see some huge plusses to the virus.
Cheers, Eve.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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Hi Eve thank you so much for your suggestions, and if you know some tips and tricks about how to find a publisher please do let me know. Unfortunately I am not reach to afford the luxury of self-publishing.
