Oh, this Night
Free verse17 total reviews
Comment from RodG
The Speaker takes silent pleasure in seeing what stars she can and enjoying the night sounds of birds and crickets (not car brakes). She reminds the reader how lucky we are if we can do this despite aches and pains and "the dull worry of the virus." Rod
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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The Speaker takes silent pleasure in seeing what stars she can and enjoying the night sounds of birds and crickets (not car brakes). She reminds the reader how lucky we are if we can do this despite aches and pains and "the dull worry of the virus." Rod
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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Thank you :))
Carol
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good to see you, Carol.
-Thanks for sharing your note.
-A well written poem reflecting
on some of your feelings about
the virus situation and city
lights dimming your view of the stars.
-I think aches and pains go with
the territory of aging.
-A neighbor recently turned 60,
and he is already complaining!
-Good ending lines, too.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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-Good to see you, Carol.
-Thanks for sharing your note.
-A well written poem reflecting
on some of your feelings about
the virus situation and city
lights dimming your view of the stars.
-I think aches and pains go with
the territory of aging.
-A neighbor recently turned 60,
and he is already complaining!
-Good ending lines, too.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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The 60 year old already complaining? I'm 56! Lol, thanks for reading!
Carol
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He's a great guy, but always on the go. I think it's a guy thing:) But I am older than he is, and I find that as the years creep up, there are aches that periodically creep up, too:) It gives you something to look forward to:)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Carol, a while since I've seen you on FS. Hope all is well. This is a lovely free verse - very well written. This lock down is starting to get to me so you are not alone with your dull worries. At first it was fine - gorgeous weather - garden looking lovely - sitting in the conservatory full of lovely plants. But, like you every now and then a dull nagging worry about this virus. How long?................... who knows.
'an under-story of city lights
dims the twinkle
of those light-years distant suns'.............. Too many city lights blot out the stars - but fine if you can avoid them. I don't know where you are but wherever - take care and stay safe. Are you isolating? Love Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Hello Carol, a while since I've seen you on FS. Hope all is well. This is a lovely free verse - very well written. This lock down is starting to get to me so you are not alone with your dull worries. At first it was fine - gorgeous weather - garden looking lovely - sitting in the conservatory full of lovely plants. But, like you every now and then a dull nagging worry about this virus. How long?................... who knows.
'an under-story of city lights
dims the twinkle
of those light-years distant suns'.............. Too many city lights blot out the stars - but fine if you can avoid them. I don't know where you are but wherever - take care and stay safe. Are you isolating? Love Dorothy xx
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Hi Dorothy,
Remind me where you live... I hope you are in an area where you can get out of the house and garden and walk some. The lockdown continues, although some argue against it. My husband and I are trying to keep our distance from others now. But have had drinks with friends outside, sitting on opposite sides of the patio.
love,
Carol
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Hello Carol, we live in South-West England. We are self-isolating but it is not so bad as the weather is glorious, thank goodness. The garden is lovely and we have a south facing conservatory and we spend much time in both. We do walk out - there are lovely rural walks, but we keep a 2 metre distance from others. Our family are all near, children and grandchildren and we keep distance between us LOL! It is all rather strange, but hopefully it will eventually end. Love Dorothy x
Comment from Pantygynt
Quite simply, we do not hear or see enough from you these days. This is a delightful picture of the Californian night with its mixture of natural earthly creatures that co-exist wit the man made objects that frame the scene, power lines was an excellent choice. This poem also takes in your own position in the scheme of things in comparison with the greatest canvas of all the night sky.
How I wish I had just six of those stars for you.
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Quite simply, we do not hear or see enough from you these days. This is a delightful picture of the Californian night with its mixture of natural earthly creatures that co-exist wit the man made objects that frame the scene, power lines was an excellent choice. This poem also takes in your own position in the scheme of things in comparison with the greatest canvas of all the night sky.
How I wish I had just six of those stars for you.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Hello, my friend, and thank you. I have no good excuse for the tardy reply. You picked up on the odd mix that is our community here Thousand Oaks - suburban urbanity and the truly wild. We have coyotes, hawks, owls, rattlesnakes, bobcats and even mountain lions all around us. I think it keeps us sane - barely so in recent days!
Carol
Comment from royowen
At least the crickets will sing with you Carol, they'll be happy that the earth's air is now better to breath that has been for some time now. You certainly communicated well. An excellent free verse my friend, good to see you Carol, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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At least the crickets will sing with you Carol, they'll be happy that the earth's air is now better to breath that has been for some time now. You certainly communicated well. An excellent free verse my friend, good to see you Carol, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Thank you so much, Roy, I hope you and yours are well!
Carol
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WE are Carol
Comment from rama devi
Star gazing is one of my favorite things, so this poem resonated, dear. Nice to see you posting.
Love this voicing:
an under-story of city lights
dims the twinkle
of those light-years distant suns
Great flow and free verse style.
Some comma suggestions:
and the traffic hums like the song
of ocean surf, all around(,)
and the strident growl of
engine brakes grates my ears...
I begrudge my aches and pains(,)
and the dull worry of the virus(,)
and my too-busy life as "essential"
Absolutely wonderful closing note here:
but one of these days, I will raise my voice
with the crickets
under this night sky that I have,
for these moments, all to myself
and you might hear me!
wherever you are in our imperfect world
I think I hear you now...from Florida!
Hugs,
rd
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reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Star gazing is one of my favorite things, so this poem resonated, dear. Nice to see you posting.
Love this voicing:
an under-story of city lights
dims the twinkle
of those light-years distant suns
Great flow and free verse style.
Some comma suggestions:
and the traffic hums like the song
of ocean surf, all around(,)
and the strident growl of
engine brakes grates my ears...
I begrudge my aches and pains(,)
and the dull worry of the virus(,)
and my too-busy life as "essential"
Absolutely wonderful closing note here:
but one of these days, I will raise my voice
with the crickets
under this night sky that I have,
for these moments, all to myself
and you might hear me!
wherever you are in our imperfect world
I think I hear you now...from Florida!
Hugs,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Hello, and thank you for yet another of your wonderful reviews. I am so glad you liked this one. I've done several star gazing poems but I thought this one kind of hit the mark of what I'm feeling as I stand out there. I do miss seeing the stars in rural areas where they seem so much closer - and without powerlines:))
As usual I mess up the commas, etc, thank you for the notes on that!
hugs,
Carol
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Thanks for your gracious response, dear Carol. It's a treat to see a starry sky in the country where more of them show up! :)
Comment from January L'Angelle
This is a great commentary on how you are feeling in the moment. I enjoyed the poem very much, especially :"I begrudge my aches and pains
and the dull worry of the virus" This is very timely and is how many people feel. Thank you for this. Well done. Respectfully, -January L.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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This is a great commentary on how you are feeling in the moment. I enjoyed the poem very much, especially :"I begrudge my aches and pains
and the dull worry of the virus" This is very timely and is how many people feel. Thank you for this. Well done. Respectfully, -January L.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Thank you January, I love your name! Sadly, our dull worry goes on...
Carol
