Lockdown Lamentations, Revised
Boo hoo, I miss all our visitors.11 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
Oh no - you didn't forget about the security cameras?? lol At least those viewing the cameras would get a laugh from it.
Just one spag:
The virus my job did sadly rob
of much of it's pleasure, - delete apostrophe
I hope you get your job back some day soon.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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Oh no - you didn't forget about the security cameras?? lol At least those viewing the cameras would get a laugh from it.
Just one spag:
The virus my job did sadly rob
of much of it's pleasure, - delete apostrophe
I hope you get your job back some day soon.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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I actually doubt that anyone checks the cameras.
I had to make all this up about being the cleaner; we're not allowed in the house. I am still a guide apparently (I've been mothballed), but we can't conduct tours with current social distancing requirements. Not that anyone's coming, anyway.
Comment from BeasPeas
Super job on this terrific poem. I really enjoyed it. Is this a photo of you? If it is you, you have to put that in your author's note once we know who you are. Your poem is clever, interesting and true. So many good lines with this piece. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Super job on this terrific poem. I really enjoyed it. Is this a photo of you? If it is you, you have to put that in your author's note once we know who you are. Your poem is clever, interesting and true. So many good lines with this piece. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thanks for your shiny review!
(Yes, that is me in the kitchen of the historic home. We don't always have to wear period clothing - that was for a special tour when i was taking a group of children around. They were dressed as delivery boys and housemaids. i was pretending to be the governess.)
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Very nice. Hopefully, you will be back to dosing soon. Let's hope so. :) Marilyn
Comment from Praveen J.
That's a very strong entry. Even though the subject is not pleasant for anyone, you've managed to make light of it with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humour. However I did not quite catch the rhyme scheme. It is inconsistent. It rhymes at a lot of places but not at others and I cannot detect a pattern. Am I missing something ? If not, there's still time to edit !
Good luck :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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That's a very strong entry. Even though the subject is not pleasant for anyone, you've managed to make light of it with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humour. However I did not quite catch the rhyme scheme. It is inconsistent. It rhymes at a lot of places but not at others and I cannot detect a pattern. Am I missing something ? If not, there's still time to edit !
Good luck :)
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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I'm pleased you found my poem amusing! There's nothing funny about being out of work, so the self-deprecatory tone was what I aimed for.
As far as the rhyme scheme goes, there is no structured pattern There is a broken rhythm, but the poem itself is stuffed full of rhyme (according to my Aussie English pronunciation - but maybe yours is different?) The rhymes are either in end couplets or internal rhymes, maybe you missed those (i.e. I?m not overjoyed to be unemployed; I?m still alive and I can thrive; when I will find some peace of mind; If you cruise, you will lose; to come inside where I was a guide; It?s all doom and gloom; My hair is a mess, and I must confess). Otherwise, every other last word rhymes with the line after it. I won't be editing it.
Comment from Gloria ....
Well this witty poem fits the bill of the contest requirements to a T. Your innovative rhyme scheme makes your sad story come right to life, and from starting sob to closing sob there was a lot of hope in between.
Excellent poem and best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
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Well this witty poem fits the bill of the contest requirements to a T. Your innovative rhyme scheme makes your sad story come right to life, and from starting sob to closing sob there was a lot of hope in between.
Excellent poem and best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, all our tourist stocks are down, one of our airlines had to be bailed out by the government, the month I retired the global monetary thing happened, leaving our superannuation badly depleted. Now this. Beautifully written, and I can quite definitely relate to your post. Well done, there will be a big parcel of people agreeing with you, well done, blessings Roy
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Oh yes, all our tourist stocks are down, one of our airlines had to be bailed out by the government, the month I retired the global monetary thing happened, leaving our superannuation badly depleted. Now this. Beautifully written, and I can quite definitely relate to your post. Well done, there will be a big parcel of people agreeing with you, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Lockdown Lamentations, is a riot of improvisational rhyme that seems to be building as you ramble through the home you have been forced to live in daily while jobless. The most fun one can have when unemployed.
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This poem, Lockdown Lamentations, is a riot of improvisational rhyme that seems to be building as you ramble through the home you have been forced to live in daily while jobless. The most fun one can have when unemployed.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
Comment from Puzzle
This is such a great take on this contest! You nailed it I'm my opinion. It's not what people are going to expect to read and that's what is so appealing. It's very creative and written well. I enjoyed the rhyme and the humor. Great job
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This is such a great take on this contest! You nailed it I'm my opinion. It's not what people are going to expect to read and that's what is so appealing. It's very creative and written well. I enjoyed the rhyme and the humor. Great job
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thanks for your terrific comments. I was wondering how to make it funny, seeing as how i actually feel very sad about not working at the wonderful historic home any more, and interacting with international visitors.
Comment from zanya
Yes the world is topsy -turvy now for almost everything ! a nice humourous touch here for the Funny poem about my job - we have to keep our sense of humour to help us through !
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Yes the world is topsy -turvy now for almost everything ! a nice humourous touch here for the Funny poem about my job - we have to keep our sense of humour to help us through !
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
Comment from L.L.M
Haha. Hello there. Must say what a really funny poem on this topic. Great sense of humor indeed that lightens up what a dark world it seems to be right now. Very well constructed and liked the flow. Well done and best of luck. Lourens
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Haha. Hello there. Must say what a really funny poem on this topic. Great sense of humor indeed that lightens up what a dark world it seems to be right now. Very well constructed and liked the flow. Well done and best of luck. Lourens
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
Comment from Y. M. Roger
LOL! Well, you seem to be taking it all quite well -- either that or your pen is a great stress reliever because this is wonderfully done!! ;) ;) Yeah, the dishes can wait, but perhaps you should shower today... ? ;) :) A wonderful contest offering - best of luck at the polls! ;)
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LOL! Well, you seem to be taking it all quite well -- either that or your pen is a great stress reliever because this is wonderfully done!! ;) ;) Yeah, the dishes can wait, but perhaps you should shower today... ? ;) :) A wonderful contest offering - best of luck at the polls! ;)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
